dear_mun | on finally settling on a username

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canon: marvel comics

on finally settling on a username

I suppose you must consider yourself so remarkably clever, that this is all some spectacular joke. But while you may be amused, I, for one, would like my lack of appreciation for your bouts of humor at my expense to be noted for the record.

And no, for your information, this does nothing to encourage me to pursue a relationship with Bobby. It would not be "kawaii", as you maintain.

Stop laughing! You aren't nearly so mean with my older counterpart.

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Lemme guess, poor Bobby is gonna be the one to take it up the "rear", right?

[ She smirks.]

I am certainly not having this conversation! Nor am I repeating the insinuations the typist is currently making.

Huh? Does that mean you're not interested in Bobby's rear or rears in general?

I don't know! I've honestly never thought about it, and really don't particularly intend to at any point in the near future. Not under all this leering and eyebrow-wagging.

Come on! I'm not leering...much.

[ A slight snicker could be heard. ]

Oh, obviously.

But really, in the depth of my logic, I could give you at least three reasons it wouldn't be a good idea.

Oh, really? Then go for it! I'm in dire need of a good laugh right now.

First, I am a very busy man, with little spare attention to devote to any kind of girl or, for the sake of argument, boy.

Secondly, he's my best friend. Can you even imagine how weird that might be, if the nature of the relationship was changed to such a degree?

The tertiary reason, and the lowest on the priority scale due to its shallow inspirations, is that, if you've seen him, he could easily pass for the winner of a Justin Bieber lookalike contest! ...At least, in the incarnation which lends me my own appearance.

Oh, poppycock! Your excuses are just as lame your haircut.

[ She frowns at him. ]

The only reason why you're hesitating is because he's your "friend", right? Don't want to weird him out with all the "lovey dovey" stuff, but I'm going to guess that your mun plans to do so anyway.

Not really. I get the feeling they were mostly poking fun at me, carrying on the joke in the name.

How much attention I'll even receive, compared to my more azure counterpart, is in so small amount of flux.