canon is Eureka

[pushesbuttons]

This isn't a criticism or anything, but just some, uh, findings that I think should be brought to your attention. Independent research, I mean. It seemed only prudent that you be made aware of them before you proceed with this experiment.

After careful analysis, I've determined that Larry might be better suited for this. In fact, just last week, I heard him saying he'd like more field work. Up close and personal, elbow deep in the scientific method. You know. That sort of thing. Or Zane. Zane would love this stuff. They might not be in your headspace now, but you could hire them or something, right?

It's not that I'm not happy to go wherever you plan on sending me, but "somewhere" isn't very descriptive, and I have a number of empty suitcases to fill and no idea what to pack, and I'd be much more efficent if you'd--

One is a number! That's one more suitcase than I'd need to pack if you weren't trying to kick me out of your headspace and into some world where my xbox live score will probably be more useful than my years of intensive academic study.

All I'm saying is that I'm an invaluable asset to your brainspace, and I think you might eventually come to regret throwing me to the lions. Metaphoric lions, I mean.


They are metaphoric, right?

Comments

[square_cubelaw]

If you have to ask if they are metaphoric, you are already in trouble.

Besides, desk work isn't all that great anyways. You'd be much safer in the field.

[pushesbuttons]

Have you ever been in the field? Because I've seen a lot of people in the field, and I kind of like having a steady pulse and breathing.

I mean, I wouldn't want to stand in the way of science or anything, but maybe a little more documentation might be in order before we proceed to human testing?

Don't worry, I am terrible at English too. ;.;

[square_cubelaw]

I do most of my work in the field.

Let me put it this way. In a lab, when things go wrong, they can seal you in. No escape, no help, no BFGs.

In the field you can at least run away or blow it up. You don't want to be sealed in the lab with an experiment they have to nuke from orbit, do you?

[pushesbuttons]

[The sad thing is, that's almost happened to Fargo so many times that he practically considers it part of a day's work.]

I'll grant you that, but I stand a much better chance of being able to remotely reprogram an approaching missile than an approaching grizzly bear.

[square_cubelaw]

[Fargo would get along fine at Tesladyne.]

That's why you bring science guns.

[pushesbuttons]

That would be great, but my employer has a very strict weapon policy.

Which mentions me by name.

...multiple times.

[...]

As if it's my fault that some genius decided to put the 'fire' button right next to the 'off' button.

[square_cubelaw]

Oh, so you're one of those guys.

We have guys like you.

I am starting a mandatory shock collar policy for people like you.

[pushesbuttons]

Oh, now that's just unreasonable! I'm highly competent! If anything, it's the weapons design team that needs shock collars.

[square_cubelaw]

I believe you are highly intelligent, that does not mean you are highly competent.

Oh, and shock collars on weapon design teams is just good policy no matter what business you're in.

Fargo is awesome and your awesome for playing him.

[tree_puncher]

From what my Mun tells me about what "metaphoric" and "lions" means... Sometimes the Metaphoric ones are worse then the other types. That's how things go around here. And if your lucky you will find someplace... Or end up with the boredom of being stuck here in Dear_Mun forever.

[Yes you are seeing the Blocky Video Game Character form Minecraft brought to life with his name "Steve?" floating above his head in white text.]

Thanks! Voice tests are scary, but he's a great character.

[pushesbuttons]

Steve? Oh, uh. Hi.

[He's definitely seen that pixellation before, but not without some bad graphics processing behind it. Still, there's not much that surprises Fargo now, so he's willing to roll with it. Goddamn section five.]

I don't see how a metaphoric lion could be worse than a real lion, considering that lions rip sinew from bone before causing their victims to bleed to death on a barren serengeti, after which they bring the dead flesh back to feed their young. But if you have another idea that doesn't involve my dead flesh, I'm all ears.

My mun has it in for me. I can feel it.

I wish you the best of luck with whatever game you send him to

[tree_puncher]

Well... [Steve? needs to think a bit this topic isn't something he's totally has a full understanding of.] What if... You've got to deal with, monsters? Like a walking bomb that's extreamly steathy and known for getting behind you to go boom... Or a tall black mob that if you look at it, it'll teleport around and charge at you till your dead... And those are just two ideas from my home realm. I think games out there got even worse stuff to deal with...

*Is just being randomly evil right now? So sorry. ;_;*

[not_really_charlie]

Wow.

Lions.

Really? ...Not that my mun's much better.

*canon bumps forward for better evilness!*

[pushesbuttons]

I think it's a figure of speech, but then again, I used to think that 'total global annihilation' was a figure of speech too, and--

Holly?

But...

Wait. Is this one of those headspace things? Because I'm really, really getting sick of these headspace things.

Sorry for delay! Climbing mini-tag mountain. D;

[not_really_charlie]

Wait? What? You mean it's...

Who's Holly? [Headspace?]


ooc: *Totally plays the vampire that bit Claudia by the way. >,> Vampire!Willow to be precise. :D Also Faith. Also Red from once upon a time. */attempts to tempt everyone into that game...*

no worries, I know that mountain far too well. I'm practically a sherpa on that mountain.

[pushesbuttons]

Um, no! No, it's just a figure of speech. You know, hyperbole for the sake of humor. The world is completely safe.

Holly is...she's someone I knew. She looked just like you, though. And sounded just like you. In fact, you're practically...

[oh god what if they made a clone and no one told him oh god oh god not happening Fargo is totally in charge here, totally in charge, really.]

This might sound like a weird question, but...have you ever spent any time in the Pacific Northwest?


ooc: I think I've been enabled! I just need to finish my canon review, pick a time point, and write out the app. :D

I'll climb it. Eventually. ;_;

[not_really_charlie]

...Maybe. [Evasiveness; it's totally a thing. Particularly when you've had to change identities at least once before.]

What did you hear? About the world not being safe thing. [Frack it, Sam and Dean were supposed to fix it.]


ooc: Wooooooo! Willow is all for complicating her warden's life with Fargo!times. >,> And he can fanboy over Buffy and Faith while he's there if he wants. ;) (*Saw that bit about watching enough Buffy, you know. Faith is not amused :| But I am.

[pushesbuttons]

Maybe? Like...maybe when? Or where?

And no, I told you, the world is completely safe! It was a joke, get it? Because it's absurd to think that the world would end in some kind of sudden mass annihilation. If anything, the end of life on earth will be a slow process that will take millenia to-

It's a joke. Just a joke.


[ooc: oh, you don't know the half of it. He's been blackmailed for keeping a Buffy doll in his desk.]

[not_really_charlie]

Sure... Right. Because... that stuff doesn't happen. [Look, just because she's secretly Holly's twin sister doesn't mean you get to panic like this.]


ooc: Yessssssss.... Clearly Buffy needs to be aware of this fact. Somehow. :|


What's his thoughts on Faith and Vampire Willow? 9,9


Also, random - has he really never noticed that his girlfriend was one of the slayerettes? 9,9 DX

[reactivates]

I don't know, I think your Xbox score and your years of intensive academic study could prove useful where I'm at, Fargonator. Though there may on occasion be lions. And aliens. Also vampires.

...It's kinda like a live video game?

*canon bumps a bit for heightened awesome*

[pushesbuttons]

I seem to recall that idea going horribly and a little embarrassingly wrong on at least one occasion.

[...]

But you, um...you liked it?

[...]

I mean, of course you liked it! There was solid artistry there! The deadly-artifact-dependent stuff could have used more research, sure, but you have to admit that the part where-

[Fargo! Focus!]

But lions and vampires eat people!

Approved.

[reactivates]

Yeah, there were some mishaps. It was a cool idea, though? [Though lets not get into the boob-job!Claudia-princess, because wtf Fargo.]

I haven't run into any lions yet, actually, if that makes you feel any better? I'm not gonna lie though, I was bitten by a vampire. Just a little bite, though. And she's good now, she has her soul back. She doesn't even sexually harass me anymore!

...No, but seriously, the Barge can be fun. I'm even planning a ship-wide game of laser tag.

[pushesbuttons]

It would have revolutionized gaming as we know it! After we, uh, worked out the kinks.

Wait, wait. Does that mean you're, like, a vampire now? Because I've watched enough Buffy done a great deal of very scientific research on the subject, and I don't think vampirism is an "I got better!" sort of thing.

[But really, you had him at 'laser tag.']

[reactivates]

[SHRUG.] Every breakthrough has their speed bumps.

No, I'm not. There wasn't, uh, an exchange of blood, or, anything like that. [Speaking of Buffy--] Oh, but we've got two vampire slayers on board as well, so. That helps even up the odds of human population versus vampire population on the ship. And some vampires have gotten better. I mean, I'm pretty good friends with Dracula, believe it or not. [Fargo how cool is this conversation right now.]

That's sort of the whole point of the place - rehabilitation. Technically I'm a "warden". And my inmate is the vampire that once bit me. But like I said, that was pre-soul.

Science nerd ftw, also I had to tag

[chaos_proponent]

Perhaps she'll choose a place suited to your intellectual abilities?

nerd club whee!

[pushesbuttons]

Highly unlikely. She says that she's better at faking a knowledge of the behavioral habits of wild predators than a knowledge of advanced software programming and computer engineering. Probably because the behavioral habits of wild predators can be summed up as "try to eat Fargo."



This is so unfair. Is there a place to apply for a new mun?

Re: nerd club whee!

[chaos_proponent]

I believe faking it is a skill they tend to develop through practice. My own has next to no knowledge about the work I myself engaged in, at least in detail, and tends more towards dealing with interpersonal aspects of play.

Her tastes otherwise seem to run more towards politically driven characters so I can understand the desire for a new mundane. She's apparently actually going through your canon though which is why she felt the need to let me speak to you.