dear_mun | Storm is coming

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Storm is coming

Dear Mundane,

In writing this, I know you are as torn apart as I am, milady. The waiting has been hard, and the days that pass, leading to her disappearance break my half a heart. All that you have planned for me in the coming month, all this sadness, I can't tell you it is unfair. I truly don't know what to do with myself in a world without her. I just hope that my friends and family can forgive me for what I am going to do. And for the anger that I might point towards them, when its the Animus I should be truly angry with.

Maybe it is best that she is not in Adstringendum with me, but if she isn't, my wish, if I could have one granted, would be to return home. Even if I know what lies ahead of me. That nightmare will end some day, and we can be together in a different time. Create our own family, and find peace there for how ever long that time should be.

But for her, I won't give up hope. Not yet. It will just take me time for me to see it.

I pray that we will stay strong, milady.

- Sincerely Syaoran

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Waiting is rather difficult, isn't it? But if you give up hope, everything you worked for won't mean anything.

No matter what, you'll definitely find her again. And even when you're not together, she'll always be with you, just like I am.

That's why I can't give up...It will just take some time for me to remember that, is all.

[And he'll just be giving you this hopeless look, son.] When I'm like this, its better than neither of you see it.

[You really don't expect him to just see you hurting and not do anything do you? He's your son,, after all.]

I know it's hard, but you'll only make it worse if you push people away. Please, allow them to be there for. Allow me to be there for you, even if it's only for a little while.

[He knows that, but he just, wishes you wouldn't. You shouldn't have to deal with this. All he wants is for you to have happiness. Regardless if what he himself is feeling.]

Fai knows how to make me pay attention...I can't ignore him. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't going to try. I can't change how I react...even given all your advice, it won't. Its like staring at yourself from a different plane, and watching in horror.

But...here I can at least accept it...

Then please, at least allow Fai to help you. Even if you push everyone else away, I'll feel much better knowing someone is there with you.

[He knows that no matter what he says, it won't make any real difference. But maybe he can at least, in some small way, affect at least that one thing.]

No matter what, everything will definitely be alright. I promise.

To be honest, being left alone would be preferable. But with the event, I suppose I can't leave my family alone. For the week I will at least be staying with them. Take comfort in that?

[He can't help what is planned, and how he reacts to it all. He's so sorry, but some things are written and cannot be changed.]

I'm afraid I don't find that comforting at all.

[He believes you can change the future. You just have to try.]

Has so much changed since I left?

[Talking about something else is probably best, Tsubasa. He can't change his near future, and he knows its upsetting you.] Little miss Sakura has gone... her mother left when you did.

Kurogane has returned, and my bird has grown.

I'm very sorry that so many people left you at once. I wanted to stay behind, but I couldn't.

[It's going to upset him whether you talk about it or not.]

Have you begun riding him yet?

I miss you, but...you taught me so much when you arrived that I can't help but think that maybe it was best you went back. I might be your father, but you deserve one who remembers you for who you truly are. [He loves you, but he's sure the reunion you are looking for with his older self would be much more meaningful.] And Adstringendum is dangerous...I'm sure where ever you are is far less costly.

But, I should be able to ride Tsubasa in the next few months as soon as he's fully grown. He's almost taller than I am now, but he's still got a little more to go.

[That almost hurts. He knows that as you are now, you're truly his clone instead of his father. But either way, no matter which timeline you may be from, you're existence is important to him. He wanted to stay with you, whether you were the age you were now, or the age he remembers you being.]

Do you remember what I told you? That it didn't matter if you were my father or my clone, your existence was an important one to me? It doesn't matter if you remember me for who I truly am or only know me from what I've told you. Because I remember you.

[There's a short pause, as if he's trying to get his voice to return to normal.]

I'm in a city named Anatole. It's much different from Adstringendum, but it's still rather dangerous. The princess and Fai and the other's are there, and I've met so many new people and made new friends

But it doesn't stop me from wishing you were there as well.

[He doesn't say it to hurt you. Its like what he feels for the princess, that he would rather her not be in Adstringendum, and he supposes he's getting his wish, but even if he does want that for her, and for you, that doesn't mean he wouldn't want to follow you out of the city.]

I remember...It isn't something a person can easily forget. You aren't someone I can easily forget, if ever. I love you very much...all that you mean to me, the memories we have together. But having you safe is far more important to me than some selfish desire of wanting you close, no matter what I may say, or which I choose over the other.

[Because even if he wishes it, his actions would speak the mirror truth.

He sighs, letting Tsubasa change the subject again, and he even allows himself to smile.] I'm glad you've met more people who love you...and if I could, I would join you. You know I would.

[If you wish something enough, eventually it will come true?

He knows you're right. He knows you are. Because hadn't he wanted the same thing for Sakura? If she couldn't be with him, she could be in the stopped time in Infinity until his return. And yet, that knowledge hadn't made being without her any easier.

Just like it didn't make being without his Sakura any easier.]

Then I'll wait for the day when we can all be together again. I won't stop searching until I find a way place where all of us can exist together and I can return your memories to you. No matter what, we will definitely meet again.

[He's trying to help, okay.] I know you would. But just like it's better for me not to be where you are, it's best for you not to be where I am. Having you safe is much more important than some selfish desire to have you close.

It seems we agree on something. [His smile changes to one of fondness, happy to have found a point of agreement. If anything, it was important that he understood why he was saying the things he did. Regardless of how much it hurt, they were both logical, rational people for the most part, weren't they?]

I will be looking forward to that day. Until then, we can just think on each other and hold onto hope.

Is it really so surprising? After all, I'm you. [And you were him. It was only logical that you would think alike or in similar ways.]

Still, there are people I wish you could meet as well. I always tell Mio about my father and everything he taught me.

Its just nice to know we can understand each other so well...sometimes I have trouble expressing myself, and its hard to get other people to get what I'm actually feeling. [But he supposes you have that issue sometimes too, don't you?]

Is Mio one of your friends?

Then perhaps you should try speaking more clearly. [He does, from time to time. But then again, he's had much more practice with it than you have.]

Mio is someone very important to me. [His cheek flush, just a little, at that admittance.]

Is she? [And the smile he summons up helps express both his interest and pride.] Well then, I'd like to meet her someday..

You lower your head too much like that, kid, someone's like to cut it.

It isn't something that can be helped. If I'm cut, then I will be cut.

Spare a thought to the people who have to bury you, you fool.

I'll try to keep it in mind...

[It's just so hard to keep any rational sort of thought when the princess isn't near. All those strong emotions linked to her reverse.]

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Storm is coming

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