muse is R U D E

[mom_ler]

Mun, if you were my daughter, you'd be out of my house lickety-split.

Listen, sweetheart, I know it's a big effort for you to not sit around bein' lazy all day an' rememberin' anythin' for more than five minutes is a downright chore, but if you don't pick up some slack I'm afraid I just can't see myself stickin' around. I just can't be seen with someone so... flaky. It's a self-respect thing, darlin', I don't expect you to understand.

You've been nothin' but a disappointment so far, Mun, so just try a little harder to do right by me and we won't have to have any more o' these little talks, mmm?

Comments

[squeak_squeaker]

Do you want a piece of chocolate fudge cheesecake, ma'am? [Kronk was used to Yzma... he understood.]

[mom_ler]

...

[Judgemental once-over is a-go!]

I can't, sweetie, a lady has to watch her weight.

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk took it all in stride; there was little to judge when you where entirely made out of muscles and stupid good-natured cheerfulness!]

Oh...uh. Why? You don't look like you're chubby.

[mom_ler]

You're darn right I don't. And why do you think that might be, hmm?

[squeak_squeaker]

Because you don't always eat yummy cakes? [Gasp!]

[mom_ler]

Because I don't always eat - oh, darlin', see I knew you were a smart one. [Disclaimer: no.] There ain't no gettin' past you.

[squeak_squeaker]

[Smart? Not even Kronk's own mother told him that he was smart! Aw shucks.]

REALLY? ...wait. Are you sure that's not just because I'm kinda big? ['Kinda big' was probably an understatement.]

[mom_ler]

There's that too, sweetie. [Now this guy would be a lot of use on the farm. Not like she'd pay him. Admittedly she and Yzma would likely get along very well.]

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk would do all the work on that farm. All of it. And you didn't even have to pay him! Yzma never did. Yeah, they probably would get along... best frenemies forever?]

I always ate my vegetables, growing up! [Beaming at her. What a nice lady!]

[mom_ler]

Uh-huuuh. Well, what a good kid you must've been. I bet you made your mama proud, unlike some delinquent sons I could name.

[squeak_squeaker]

I sure hope so! She taught me how to cook and bake and stuff.
[Kronk smiled and then he blinked slowly.]

Huh. Delinquent? [What did that mean?]

[mom_ler]

Oh, you know. Worthless. Good-for-nothin'. [Hand-wave. There are more where that came from, but she isn't going to waste her time.]

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk raised his eyebrows. That was kinda harsh, to say about your own son!]

What did your son do wrong, ma'am? He...uhh. He didn't listen to you? [Kronk's mama was proud of him, for growing so big and strong and then he got to work at the palace too.]

[mom_ler]

Forgive me for bein' curt, sweetie, but my son was one disappointment I'd rather leave behind. [In more ways than one.]

[squeak_squeaker]

I'm...uh. I'm sorry to hear about that!

Maybe he can improve and- when I was little, I couldn't count the llamas right. But now, I work for the richest woman in the whole empire! [Kronk wasn't bragging, he was trying to inspire. If he could, ANYONE could! Right?]

[mom_ler]

[She closes her eyes and shakes her head in an I'm-being-very-patient-with-you kind of way.]

He let me down. Heaven knows I'm a tolerant woman, but he crossed a line.

I ain't discussin' it no more.

[squeak_squeaker]

But everyone deserves a second chance, right? [Kronk was very, very optimistic. Very.]

Hah... I just love that little bow on top of your hair! [He was also easily distracted, especially now he noticed how different she looked from the people back home.] I bet that'd look great on me.

Do I get to try your eye things on? [...glasses.]

[mom_ler]

He had his chance.

Why, thank you, sweetie, I picked it 'cause it matches. [Her eyes flick down and up just the once, a disdainful look on her face.] I'm sure it would. My accessories ain't for tryin', though, hon, I'm sure y'all understand.

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk chewed on his lower lip. Aww, he couldn't try it on? Never ever? His cheerful, smiling face turned into the saddest of wibbling.]

...I'll be really careful and stuff! But. Uhh. I understand. [Looking down at his sandals. He never got try Yzma's hats on either!]

[mom_ler]

It's expensive stuff. You know how it is.

[squeak_squeaker]

That's just like what Yzma always says! 'Krrrroooonk darrrling,' That's how she talks.

And then she goes, 'Krrrrroooonk this featherrred hat costs morrrre than you do.'

You ladies would really get along!

[mom_ler]

She sounds charmin'.

[She sounds atrocious.]

[squeak_squeaker]

Oh yeah! She's just like you, only even older and-

[Kronk, why did you say even?] I mean...uhh. You're my age and she's older.

[mom_ler]

...Even older, huh.

[Uh-oh. That's not a good smile...]

[squeak_squeaker]

...yeah. And not as beautiful. [Tugging at his shirt, nervous. What! It was all true? Kronk didn't tell lies.]

[twokarmicdeaths]

It's truly a shame that a lovely lady such as yourself has ended up in such a situation.

[mom_ler]

Mm-hmm, you can sure say that again. Ain't you just the gentleman for noticin'?

[justgotback]

Who gave you the wrong prescription?

[mom_ler]

...

[That means...?]

My vision's just peachy, sweetheart.

[It's not even slightly peachy but, you know, appearances.]

[figurestobigger]

M-Mom?!

[mom_ler]

Oncie.

[thneedifestdestiny]

Mom? Why are you...

[It just kind of dies on his tongue though, because 1) he probably shouldn't be surprised she's here, and 2) Wow, don't question your mama. What a rude young man.

So, he just straightens his posture up and grins!]

I mean, it's great to see you, Mom! How've you been?

[mom_ler]

[Quick, sharp glance up and down. Oh, good, he's remembered to stand up straight. Have a small, rewarding smile. Though not a particularly heartfelt one.]

What a... surprise! I wasn't expectin' you here, Oncie. [Yes, she was. He always comes running.] Well, I've been just fine, except for a few little mundane troubles.

Well? Don't leave me wonderin', Oncie, how has my little inventor been doin'?

[thneedifestdestiny]

I've been good! Great, even! My mun dragged me to some terrible place called Wonderland but I've definitely made all my lemons into lemonade for once. I traded a few...things, and now I've got a Wonderland branch of my company! I'm getting people from other worlds invested in Thneeds! Pretty great, huh?

[He is so proud of himself, and therefore she should be proud too. ...Hopefully. Maybe.]

[mom_ler]

Oh, sweetie, well ain't you just the industrious little busy bee! Maybe these mun people aren't so bad after all, if they're snaggin' you business like that.

How much are they goin' for, hon? You know sellin' in foreign places means you get to charge a fortune, right? [She had to ask about earnings sooner or later. Her little Oncie needs someone to make sure he's on the right track.]

[thneedifestdestiny]

Yeah! At least that's good. She's still pretty soul-crushingly horrible in other ways, but she's not bad for business!

[He looks a little sheepish about those earnings though.]

Well, that part's kind of...harder. Wonderland doesn't have its own currency, so I've been making due with whatever I can sell them for. A lot of people either don't have cash or have things I've never even heard of. Like, how many dollars is a Galleon? Or a Rupee? I'm pretty sure my mun made that last one up, because that definitely doesn't sound like a real thing.

Anyway, uh. I've opened it up to bartering and negotiations. It's a little old-fashioned, but I've gotta make due. A-And it's not like people are getting them for free, or anything like that. No, that would just be stupid. Ehe.

[No, it's just been a lot of favors and promises of saving him if zombies attack and stuff.]

Oh! But I have the Duke of Buckingham interested! And his room is pretty much covered in gold, so that's promising!

1/2

[mom_ler]

[Her expression slowly cycles through from 'unimpressed' to 'you're a horrible disappointment' and it's looking like he's about to get an earful - but upon hearing that last part... her face lights up.]

...Oh.

2/2

[mom_ler]

[GOLD]

Well, Oncie, I am glad you know where the real money's at. You just keep on doin' your... quaint little barterin' thing and you get right on pesterin' this Duke for all he's offerin'. And more, if you can talk your way into it, sweetie. [She's less sure he'll manage that but - worth a try, right?]

You go and make your mama proud!

[grandfathersnail]

Oh! You haven't given up yet.

Isn't that something?

[mom_ler]

The prodigal coot returns. Shouldn't you be off sulkin' in that factory o' yours?

Ahhh I almost missed this you amazing person you

[whichwayyoulean]

[Noooo. You're not allowed to show up again, not when his life has started to have some semblance of not being a complete and utter pile of suck forever. He knows he should ignore this, walk away, live a happy life, but nope. He's a glutton for punishment as always]

Still grinding away at that grindstone, huh Mom?

hhh sorry for the late reply omg

[mom_ler]

[She recognises the slouch on this one. And the look in his eyes, but she's not thinking about that.]

Ugh - [Her lip curls and she looks irritated.] When I give you a final goodbye, Oncie, I expect it to stick. But here you are. Again.

[She's not even going to talk to him about his posture, not this time. That would imply she thinks there's any pride worth salvaging.]

no worries! <3

[whichwayyoulean]

I guess I keep coming back like a bad apple.

That and I've had a little more insight since we talked last. [Still slouching a slouch]

[mom_ler]

Bad apple is right.

[She's not going to ask about this insight. Bringing it up is your business. That, and she's not sure it bodes well.]

[whichwayyoulean]

You know, the place I'm trapped in? They made us believe we were one big extended family. And you know what? They actually treated me like I was worth something just by being me.

[The 'more than you've ever done'goes unsaid, for now]

Even after all that insanity was over, they still treat me better.

[mom_ler]

Oh, then you told 'em everythin'? They understand everythin' you did?

That's mighty lucky for you, Oncie, to find people so acceptin' of your horrible mistakes.

[She leans a little closer with a conspiratorial glance around.]

But just between you an' me, I don't think much of the undisciplinin' type.

[whichwayyoulean]

I...no. Not those guys anyway. But I have other friends I told, and they... they haven't abandoned me yet.

[He lets that yet drop and hang there like a weight. Just waiting for someone to cut it down. Maybe it really is only a matter of time before they leave him too, no matter what they say]

They're not- It's not about that. It's abut accepting me for who I am.