there's an iron man 2 novelization and....

[therealgenius]

The Ex-Wife worked?

No, no, of course it worked. I made it myself, it's perfect. So that—really? Well, it's Wikipedia, take it with a grain of salt—and TV Tropes?

That's it, you need to find it. Get it. Read it. You can do that, can't you? Totally go against the grain and be like, no, no, Justin is from the book. That's a thing, right? Because any place where the Ex-Wife took out Vanko—

[but justin what if you're a bigger dick

what if there's strange revealing stories about you]

...well, you know—you should just read it anyway.

[why not just read the comics? where you're bald and have a billion kids or something]

No.

Comments

[irondick]

Yes.

Show me where you're bald. And have a million kids.

[therealgenius]

[ERMAGODCANYOUJUSTNOTBEEVERYWHEREJESUSFUCK]

Never.

[irondick]

[ NO. I AM EVERYWHERE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. ]

I can google, Justin.

[liverletdie]

It's like you're desperate to confirm that something you made works! Imagine that.

[therealgenius]

[HIS MUN HAS SEEN LIKE...THREE PANELS AND THE MAIN ONE IS:]

Are you going to ask one of my security guys whether or not they not what a clavicle is, then break it? Because that's, eeehhh, that's not cool. That's like fire in the way of "not cool" that is. About as not cool as that porn stache, what were you thinking?

[liverletdie]

You know, sometimes people do things in the name of fashion that may be regrettable later, like that tie. It's a bit unfortunate, if you ask me, but you don't have the "it was the 80s excuse".

[bloodbrothers]

Does it make a difference if the middle differs when in the end you still lose?

1/2

[therealgenius]

Does it make a difference whether or not he's your biological father when in the end he still raised, fed, and clothed—

[therealgenius]

[oh.

oh no.]

Yes?

[bloodbrothers]

How fortunate you are that I still have a modicum of tolerance and won't still your wretched tongue in public.

[ In public being the keywords there. ]

[mechatronic]

So, what, you're gonna go against the grain of yourself in a bid to be a better you? Pretty sure you can get similar results if you picked up something from the self-help aisle.

[therealgenius]

Oh, why don't you say that last sentence in the mirror, to yourself, and actually understand that it applies to you too, there, man.

[mechatronic]

Real cute that you're concerned and all, but I'm already in a support group. Kinda. Sorta. Not exactly. Yeah, okay, not at all really, but hey, if it works, right? I'm actually making progress by some standard. Not by most people's standards, sure, but different situations, different standards, right?

[That's a very long way of saying 'nope'... Anyway, moving swiftly on.]

So, there's a version of things where you actually blow up Vanko, huh? Man, I had no idea you were so invested in keeping my ass alive. Learn something new everyday, huh.

[sweet_riiiiims]

I take it we're not talking about those skinjob matrimonial deals.

[therealgenius]

You mean marriage?

[therealgenius]

[NOT FAIR NOT FAIR that's kind of creepy Apparently? I read the Spider-Man novelization when it came out because why not? I'M SURE YOU COULD FIND IT SOMEWHERE!]

[theassassin]

[Who knew you could be useful.

What baffles her more than anything is...SOME ONE ACTUALLY SLEPT WITH YOU?
MORE THAN ONE SOMEONE?

Wow.]

Surprising.

[therealgenius]

[He's a middle-aged man, Nataliesha, he's gotten some sex before. Also a billionaire, FYI.]

What is?

[inaleotard]

What if you're an entirely different person in the book?

[ He would know. Experience. ]

Or missing someone really important? They tend to cut those things for space.

[therealgenius]

I hope you're not talking about Tobey.

[Please don't be. He deals with him every day.]

Yeah, but see, with a novel? You have much more room. So it could go either way, you know?

/AIN'T EVEN SORRY

[capischeja]

Mein Gott könnten sie mehr ein verlierer?

[That was mumbled. Probably nothing important. There's a giggle here and suddenly SPIKY-HAIRED fakeGERMAN IN YOUR SPACE wat do.]

Do you always fret zhis much over eensy-teensy zhings, mein herr?

i need to know the name of this movie asap

[therealgenius]

[...]

Jesus Christ, Tony N*SYNC Stark in my face, I have...what? Did you just call me your Mister?

[getinline]

I've seen nerf guns more deadly than your merchandise.

[therealgenius]

Which would make those Nerf guns illegal and you a criminal for not reporting them.