(no subject)

[manofiron]

You and I need to renegotiate the terms of our agreement.

This whole getting me killed thing? Unacceptable. It's not the dying. That I can handle, believe it or not. I'm kinda a pro with that. It's the method I'm taking issue with here.

Saving a city from the monster apocalypse? Sure, no problem. Doing something reckless? Yeah, okay, I can deal. Getting murdered by some nutjob who's in love with his house? That's insulting.

That's more than insulting. That's like, grounds for termination. Can I fire you? Never mind, I don't care.

You're fired.

Comments

[flewallover]

Hey, man, don't knock people's houses. Lots of love can go into those things. Definitely lots of backbreaking, sweat-soaked, curse-laden time, if nothing else.

[manofiron]

[ You just stay the fuck over there, Jack. ]

It's not the house I'm knocking.

[flewallover]

[Now, now, don't be so judgmental, Kirk.]

You're knocking the house for having the love of the nutjob or you're knocking the nutjob for being in love with the house?

[manofiron]

[ He's not falling for this trick, Jack. He bought it once. That whole "Hi, I'm your friendly neighborhood substitute bartender" routine. He's not buying it again. ]

The nutjob. I'm definitely knocking the nutjob.

[flewallover]

[Man, what is your deal.]

Maybe you ought not hang around nutjobs, then.

[Hypocrite? He went to the loony bin to get out of hard labor at the work farm. Oh well.]

[mypermission]

Death is the great equalizer. The method matters not.

[manofiron]

The method matters a lot. Trust me here. You want to be the stupid bastard who got up for a glass of water, tripped on the stairs, and broke his neck? I don't think so.

[mypermission]

That says a lot about you. You're willing to terminate your own mundane over a matter of pride. Interesting, but also cliche.

[manofiron]

I'm willing to do a lot of things. That's cliched too. Which seems to surprise you, so you obviously have no idea who I am. And that's interesting to me.

Which is it? Alien? Alternate universe? Some kind of hermit lifestyle that eschews TV? Where'd you come from?

[mypermission]

You assume that your world is the only default one out there. I'm from a place where hope and despair walk hand in hand like the most bitter of friends.

Though if you require my most recent location, I suppose Gotham City would serve the purpose.

[therealgenius]

A hotel isn't a house, Tony. Didn't you ever play Monopoly?

[manofiron]

Yeah. I played it.

[ This face? This is not a happy face, Justin. ]

[therealgenius]

So, movie night: Jack Nicholson or Stanley Kubrick? Anything but the orange one, you know that.

[manofiron]

Which one has an axe and a pair of handcuffs? I don't want you to get bored halfway through.

[manofiron]

[ That's okay. He hasn't met himself before either. Not like this. It'll be a learning experience. ]

Yeah. Helpful tip? Stay away from Colorado. It's not as great as the tour guides say.

[manofiron]

Yeah, see, that's what I thought JARVIS was doing. And yet, there was this little snafu with his investigation.

[ Tony is not pleased about this. But hey, blood under the bridge, right? Look! He's talking to himself. It's like the perfect example of narcissism. ]

That's what they tell me. It seems hard to wrap your mind around it, I know, but it gets easier. After a while, nothing will surprise you.

[scaretaker]

If I didn't know any better—which I don't, by the way, considering the only Tony I know lives in my kid's mouth—I'd say you were blaming me, not the lady behind your tickity-tap there.

KEYWORDS

[manofiron]

[ SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ]

Last time I checked, you were one swinging the axe.

you say that like i don't know all your icon keywords at this point, burr-run-den

[scaretaker]

[Hey buddy. How's the sleeping going? Maybe you should have a drink. Man to man, you know.]

Like I had any control of that, hmm? You don't know me at all, that could have been a special occasion just for your demise.

WELL. hell.

[manofiron]

[ GET.

THE.

FUCK.

AWAY.

YOU.

PSYCHOPATHIC.

FUCKING.

FREAKSHOW.

Also calling your bluff, buddy. ]

Was it?

[sweet_riiiiims]

Careful, you might upset the house.

[He's already laying the snark down.]

[manofiron]

I think the house can take it. It seems pretty stable.

[ Bring the snark, man. Bring it. ]

[sweet_riiiiims]

[He's had thousands of years to hone his snarking skills in robot medical school, dude.]

Mmm, from the sounds of it someone made a house call~