Canon is Dead Space iOS

[vandalization]

Look. I appreciate all the attention suddenly, but you know what I don't appreciate? Fucking plans made for me.

You do realize, that if I get close to any of these people... robots. Whatever- you realize I'm going to screw them all over. It's kind of what I do.

Oh and if you're gonna set me up for some fresh heartbreak? At least have it be with someone I have some kind of a remote chance with.

God I don't even know. I'm not even going to call attention to the fact that everyone is a goddamn robot.

Thanks.

-VANDAL

Comments

[reunified]

The whole robot thing isn't that big of a problem, you know.

[vandalization]

Yeah? How would you know?

[reunified]

I've been dating one for... a while now.

[vandalization]

... Seriously? What kind of robot? How?

[reunified]

For the majority of the time he was in a human [ ish ] body. Lately he's been a giant robot half the time, but we still work around it well enough.

I'd look into holoforms, if I was you.

[vandalization]

... Wow. I don't even know what to say to that.

Holowhatuh?

[reunified]

It's complicated.

Solid holomatter, usually in the form of a human body. It lets them interact with the world on a smaller scale than they normally can.

[vandalization]

... They can do that?

Fuck.

Well. Too bad this guy is both gay and taken.

[reunified]

Are you sure he's gay?

[squeak_squeaker]

...are you doing okay there, little buddy?

[vandalization]

I'm not little and I'm not your buddy, pal.

[squeak_squeaker]

Ohh... I'm sorry, not my buddy guy. [Kronk tried to smile, even if this guy wasn't being very nice! Maybe he had a difficult time right now.]

[vandalization]

The fuck is wrong with you?

[squeak_squeaker]

I dunno. [Stupidity?]

[vandalization]

Man, whatever, I don't have time for this.

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk looked at his big feet. Gee, it was hard to talk to some people!]

...oh. I dunno what I did wrong, but I'm sorry.

[vandalization]

Look guy, I'm in kind of a bad mood and I'm not looking to make friends here.

[percept]

I take it interspecies relations are not common among humans?

[vandalization]

Oh god it's you. Now you're going to think I'm creepy.

And uh. No other species to have relations with.

[percept]

I would only find it 'creepy' if you were expressing interest in nonsapient robot lifeforms.

Ah, that's right. Your species isn't as widespread as ours. Regardless, I can assure you that it would not be the first time a Cybertronian has... had some form of relations with another species.

[vandalization]

Oh. Lucky me.

Look. There hasn't been any relations. There will be no relations. The relations are not, will not, and will never be a thing that exists.

Gay. Taken. Robot. Also I am vastly unfit for. Anyone. So yeah.

[percept]

Are you entirely certain that the subject of your interest is taken?

[ Not. Gonna touch on the subject of sexuality right now. ]

[vandalization]

Entirely completely and utterly, yes.

[percept]

Then you should inquire about the details and exact nature of their relationship. They may be open to... [ Experimentation. ] Others.

[vandalization]

OH MY FUCKING GOD NOT YOU TOO.