Canon is Dead Space iOS

[vandalization]

Look. I appreciate all the attention suddenly, but you know what I don't appreciate? Fucking plans made for me.

You do realize, that if I get close to any of these people... robots. Whatever- you realize I'm going to screw them all over. It's kind of what I do.

Oh and if you're gonna set me up for some fresh heartbreak? At least have it be with someone I have some kind of a remote chance with.

God I don't even know. I'm not even going to call attention to the fact that everyone is a goddamn robot.

Thanks.

-VANDAL

Comments

[reunified]

The whole robot thing isn't that big of a problem, you know.

[vandalization]

Yeah? How would you know?

[reunified]

I've been dating one for... a while now.

[vandalization]

... Seriously? What kind of robot? How?

[reunified]

For the majority of the time he was in a human [ ish ] body. Lately he's been a giant robot half the time, but we still work around it well enough.

I'd look into holoforms, if I was you.

[vandalization]

... Wow. I don't even know what to say to that.

Holowhatuh?

[reunified]

It's complicated.

Solid holomatter, usually in the form of a human body. It lets them interact with the world on a smaller scale than they normally can.

[vandalization]

... They can do that?

Fuck.

Well. Too bad this guy is both gay and taken.

[reunified]

Are you sure he's gay?

[vandalization]

Pretty sure he's fixing to hook up with his buddy.

[reunified]

That doesn't necessarily make him gay.

[vandalization]

Okay. Out of my league, then.

[squeak_squeaker]

...are you doing okay there, little buddy?

[reunified]

That's what I used to think. Trust me Vandal, you'd be surprised where you can get if you put a little effort into things.

[vandalization]

Are you seriously schooling me in how to get in a threesome with two gay robots?

[reunified]

Let's just say my life took a strange series of turns after you left the station and I have a bit of experience with this.

Suck it up and go for it.

[vandalization]

You had a threesome with gay robots?











I... wow, man. Wow.

[vandalization]

I'm not little and I'm not your buddy, pal.

[reunified]

Not quite but... Just. Things are complicated. Last time I checked I was fourth wheel to some bizarre polyamory thing.

It's weird, okay? But it's not bad.

[vandalization]

Are all robots like this?

[squeak_squeaker]

Ohh... I'm sorry, not my buddy guy. [Kronk tried to smile, even if this guy wasn't being very nice! Maybe he had a difficult time right now.]

[reunified]

I honestly have no idea.

[vandalization]

I honestly don't know if I'm hopeful, confused or just creeped out.

[vandalization]

The fuck is wrong with you?

[reunified]

Look, just stay optimistic and know that if you end up involved with a giant robot you'll more than likely be able to find a work-around.