dear_mun | On being homed at scribbledress for now.

On being homed at scribbledress for now.

[He's going to buck wildly and happily this time, he can be intelligent and witty but he was also easily pleased.]

MUN! MUN! I take back everything I said, I could smooch you and not recoil in displeasure! A home is a home and I'm very happy to find a place where I can be free to do whatever I want, whenever I want! Rolling fields, free oats, milk and honey? What crazy creature would say no to all that?!

Certainly not I!

[Then he stops to think about this, if he's happy about going here... Then maybe his Mun might pull him out to be spiteful. GASP!]

What I really mean is- Mun dearest- rubbish! How dare you send me there- BOO HOO HOO! Oh how horrid it shall be and I do not know if I can bear such torment!

[And then he's back to bucking, kicking and rolling about like a goofy yearling.]

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Are you the prince of all the llamas? [Kronk figured that he had to be!]

[He stops rolling about and gives Kronk a look, a look that said he clearly wasn't.]

No.

[And then he spits at Kronk and gives the burly man a grin.]

But I can certainly spit like him~

[Instead of getting angry, Kronk just curiously observed the spit.] Huh.

So you're not a llama? [What was he then? He didn't resemble anything else Kronk had ever seen before!]

Well I am called a unicorn, but my name is Jezeus.

[It wasn't his intention to make him angry, but he was just called an Ilama. He loved all furry, scaly and feathery creatures- Unless they spat at you.]

What is your name?

I've never seen a unicorn before! [It was really very great!]

My name's Kronk... I'm not a llama either. [Kronk was all man. Would've made a fine unicorn, though. Did unicorns like to bake cakes?]

[Kronk certainly would have made a rather fine unicorn, but it'd take all the honey and milk in the world to have him admit that. Well he would at least consider it.]

I guess it's a pleasure to meet you Kronk... And I can see that, I know a man when I see one.

[Kronk could make him some honey and cream cupcakes! Or spinach puffs, if he wanted something savory?]

It's great to meet you, buddy! [Big, friendly smile.] Gee... I never thought I'd run into a whole new animal, I thought I'd seen them all by now.

[It was increasingly hard to be snooty, to someone so friendly. One of the main reasons he liked humans was for their cooking, cakes, breads and all kinds of fermented drinks were some of his favourite things!]

Well now you have, I'm the cream of the crop too- You must be incredibly lucky!

You can't have seem them all unless you've travelled the world at least twice, not even I in all my wanderings have seen them all.

[Kronk was very sweet and honest and... a ~~lot~~ little dumb, too. It was hard to be snooty to him! He was also, unexpectedly, a great cook.]

Ohh, I feel really lucky! [He smiled some more and then he blinked slowly.] The world? I've never been farther away from my home village than the palace... but that's two whole hours walking! [Impressive, right? Riiight.]

[Right. If he tortise.]

So you should, good man. You should really try some travelling, it's rather good for the soul and your legs! Try two weeks of walking and see where you find yourself, I guarantee you'll enjoy yourself.

Hah. I can't do that, I got to do my chores for Yzma! I never get a day off work. [Working for Yzma was a 24/7 commitment.]

Sounds like fun though... who knows what I'll find? Maybe chipmunks!

Oh. That's a drag... Are you some Queens puppet?

[You now have all of his sympathy, he's got a soft spot for the working man.]

Yzma's the Emperor's advisor... I'm her only henchman. [It was the worst job in the world! But Kronk was naturally very optimistic and also very loyal to Yzma... because he was just that stupid, probably. Poor guy!]

Yech! You're even a henchman? You do realise that makes you, I dunno... The bad guy if you're calling yourself that.

...yeah, I know. She's not a very nice lady! I think. [Kronk fidgetted with his shirt a bit and smiled nervously. That unicorn probably didn't want to be his friend if he found out that Kronk worked for an evil sorceress!]

[No not particularly, he believed everybody made their own decisions. If he truly objected to it then he would of left her..Somehow.]

Theeeeeen- Why are you still in her service?

Because...uh. I dunno. Someone has to look after Yzma and carry her around and stuff! I don't mind doing it.

[Kronk had to start thinking about his life and his choices... but that wasn't easy when you where this bad at thinking!]

Eh, if you're the kings lackey then she can carry herself about. She sounds awfully lazy.

[He's gonna tsk and shake his head at Kronk.]

[Kronk looked down, ashamed of himself.] ...she gives me new clothes too.

[Fidgetting.] I didn't want to scoop llama doodoo all day and Yzma said she'd have a job at the palace for me and it sounded all great! And there's food every day and a big kitchen!

But she's still not a very nice lady.

Well I guess that is better than scooping poo, I suppose you're paid handsomely for your work as well?

Yeah! But Yzma keeps most of it in a jar for safe-keeping, so I don't spend everything at once.

[Big smile.]

Uh huh, and the sky is green with pink polka-dots.

[Have a very stern look. YOU'VE BEEN PLAYED, BOY!]

[Kronk looked up, noticed that the sky was still blue and then he looked very, very confused indeed.]

...huh? It's not.

She's fooling you, she's keeping the money for herself. Duh.

REALLY? [Kronk covered his mouth. That did explain why Yzma always had enough money to buy new shoes and dresses and stuff!]

Oh... so I've been working for free all this time?

Yup. You've been had my manly friend, I would start demanding my hard earned money!

...from Yzma? [Kronk didn't look so sure! Didn't this unicorn know how scary Yzma looked and behaved and stuff?]

Geez. Maybe YOU should ask her! You're already an animal.

I dunno... Maybe after you try, sounds like you're scared of a woman.

Wait.

What does being a unicorn have to do with anything?

Everyone's scared of her! [It probably made more sense after you met Yzma. 'skinny old lady' didn't cover what you where dealing with here.]

Yzma turns people into animals if she doesn't like 'em.

I've seen dragons and trolls- I'm sure she can't compare. How does she turn people into animals though?

Wanna see her picture? But don't say I didn't warn you, buddy!

[Kronk shrugged.] She has all these little potions and she puts it in people's food... I dunno. I don't really understand how she makes them.

Sure why not.

[He thinks about this... If it was just potions, then it was easy to get around her.]

Then... Just prepare your own food? Then she can't poison you.

But... but what if she offers me cookies or some candy?

[Did that ever happen? Emperor Kuzco gave him cookies sometimes!]

Then.. Say no?

[That was obvious. As obvious as the flippin' SUN, Kronk, Jez is going to give him a disappointed look.]

But I can't! Cookies make me happy! I love cookies.

[This always happened when someone offered Kronk a cookie: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7wwsw0dmx1qchax1o8_250.gif He was hopeless. Unicorn magic wasn't enough to prevent this much stupid!]

Well, I'm not going to help someone who won't even try, y'know.

[Ouch.]

I'm sorry for...uh. For disappointing you, mr. unicorn, sir. Real sorry.

...do you want some petting?

No petting, just go be a man and face her. If you fail then I shall aide you.

[Kronk chewed on his lower lip.] But she'll kill me!

Do you... do you want me to be a dead Kronk?

[He tilts his head]

I thought she only poisoned people?

Oh no, she also feeds people to her pet crocodile and then she goes and has people thrown out of the palace window! But Emperor Kuzco does that too. Yeah.

[Kronk really had to walk on eggshells!]

Then poison THEIR food and run away? You seem to come up with more problems than solutions, everybody has a weakness y'know.

But I don't wanna do mean people stuff.

I want everyone to be friends and cuddle! [THAT was Kronk's ultimate solution. Just one big, friendly hug pile.]

[He's just going to slump on his side, this was making his head hurt.]

Then you deserve what comes to you.

[Talking to Kronk will do that!]

...yeah, probably do! [And petting him, like nothing happened. O-oh, soft!]

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On being homed at scribbledress for now.

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You should go roll on your lawn, 'cause you on fire! xD

LOOOOL. XD

x3

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