dear_mun | he heard things.

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he heard things.

Wait, what?

You're kinda overstepping your boundaries by telling me, but hey. I won't tell. Not like there's this giant place where everyone can see this whole conversation happening, right? [The sarcasm is strong with this one.] Besides, I have a right to know!

And for the record? It's a pretty bad joke.

So bad even I'm hurting from it, and I'm not even there. —Not that you should fix that situation, but...

It's just a thought.

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It was a terrible joke. But are you really surprised? This is Bucky we're talking about. He couldn't make a decent joke if his life depended on it.

Tell me about it! If he keeps that up, he might be able to use them to actually hurt people.

—hey, Carol.

Man, if you think that's bad you should hear him and Toro when they get together. Sometimes they use puns.

Hey, Pete. Doing okay?

Please tell me you're joking. This is a bad joke, right?

Better now that I'm getting to stretch my legs again. What about you? I've... 'heard things'.

I'm not joking. It's almost painful to watch.

Eh, doing okay. Can't complain I guess. What kind of things have you heard?

You didn't try to stop them? Oh geeze, don't tell me there were other people around- Carol, think of the kids!

[dramatic? maybe.] Things along the line of 'it got worse', compared to when I got to visit.

You can't stop them. They're like a force of nature with their puns and their hitting on each other without realizing they're doing it. Do you see what you've left me alone with over there?

...Yeah, it kinda did. Story of my life.

Hitting on each other? Boy, does that sound smooth. And hey, How was I supposed to know that this'd happen? I'm not a psychic, Carol. Spidey-Sense doesn't work like that, you know.

I thought that was our motto? The Avengers: it gets worse.

Well what good is it if it can't sense if you can't even use it to tell you that I'm trapped being a side character on Bucky and Toro's personal sitcom. [She's teasing]

That's pretty accurate.

Are you really gonna complain about bad jokes, bugboy?

Aww, you're gonna hurt my feelings like that, big guy.

And for a record I'd really like to clarify, spiders aren't insects.

Good, I hope yah die of a broken heart.

I know. You've told me a thousand times by now, I just don't care.

Hate to break it to you, but that'd be impractical. Besides, who else would be there to brighten your day?

[oh, he has a point.] —Can't blame me for trying.

You're right, it won't be any fun unless I get to squish you myself.

You never noticed none of us ever call you an arachnid? [Except Doc Ock, but he's you know. A smart guy.] I mean, we known each other since you was in high school and you ain't noticed?

Not exactly what I was going for, but it's nice to hear that you care.

Oh, I noticed! It's just a fight I'm not willing to give up. One out of- [yes, he's talking about the good- bad doctor] -all of you isn't that bad a start.

Yeah yeah, I'm positively prayin' for your safety.

Just one more thing for us to fight over then.

Right, so that you can beat the living daylights out of me later?

Looking forward to it, pal! By the way, I gotta say that you're looking great! You been taking better care of yourself? You gotta tell me your secret.

Look at that, you do know me.

Sand don't wrinkle.

What kinda guy would I be if I didn't remember who wanted to beat my face and who didn't? Come on.

Yeah, but it does hurt. And get everywhere, unfortunately.

It's pretty easy for you. Everyone wants to beat your brains out.

[He knows. He can feel the places it goes.] Focus on the hurting.

Not everyone! There's a great hot dog stand down on fifth and I know for a fact that the owner's on a 'don't-beat-spidey's face-in' stance with me.

Quick question. [too much information, big guy.] The chafing, or the actual hurting?

He's just saying that to get your guard down.

You know that feeling when I crack yer ribs with a giant hammer? That one.

You're just jealous that hot-dog guy likes me and not you.

Oh. [visible wince, even beneath the mask.] Yeah, that's not something I'd like to revisit if it's all the same to you, pal.

Keep believing that, webhead. One day he'll make a spider-dog.

[He has always wondered how Spidey makes the eyes move. That one time he had his mask, he should have checked.] Then quit getting in my way.

Oh, gross! Did you have to take it there? Because I'm pretty sure that's a serious health violation -

[you don't check the mask, you'll never know, Flint. good job.] Whoa, what was that? You're the one who came here first, big guy!

[It was his first time! He thought he'd never see Spider-Man again!] And I'm telling you that if you don't want to relive having your bones broken, don't come after me later!

[hands up! you're threatening him, buddy.]

Easy there! I get the message loud and clear, geeze. [not that he'll listen, but.] That's a promise, yeah?

Are you actually gonna do it this time? [Leave him alone, that is. He knows he won't, but he's gotta ask anyway.]

Don't think I can answer that without you getting mad. You know that.

Yeah well. Never said I wasn't going to want more than I could get.

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he heard things.

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I am the best tagger

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excuse me do you believe in love at first sight

Maybe a little bit.

then don't mind if I swoon. just a little.

Don't be concerned if I catch you partially.

oh, my hero!

Well, half-hero at best.

true, true... my somewhat-hero, how's that sound?

Like a sit-com.

we'll be a big hit with the kids!

We'll be the new Friends!

—maybe stretching it a little too far, buddy.

Yeah...Two and a Half Men at best.

yeeaaah, that sounds just about right.

Petey is 1, Sandy is 2 and the half is Aunt May.

she's in and out, that way she isn't subject to the horror on a daily basis.

"That Flint, such a nice boy... I know just the girl for him."

it's the season finale - Marko goes on a date!

With Mary-Jane.