canon is Parks & Rec

[anewknope]

You're jumping the gun!

I like this approach! Why not get started, you've got the initiative part down! You and me? We're like bread and butter, we'll go places! Anyway, look at how much we have in common! I could list them, but we're strapped for time, and I wanted to talk to you about other stuff, Government stuff! Important stuff! Can we talk about that here?

It wouldn't bore people! It's exciting! You see, people don't think it's exciting because they think it's all facts and numbers, but those facts and numbers have a purpose, and that purpose is making a change.

So! Are we going to get to it, or are you going to go back to that old boys' club, establishment elite that you prefer playing? Let's break through the glass ceiling already! We'll be like Madeline Albright, or Hillary Clinton! We'll be perfect. Let's go!

Comments

[aggressiveapathy]

Yeah. Your freak power'll be summoning boring meetings or ninjas made out of paperwork or something.

[anewknope]

Oh, or how about coffee summoning!

That might get unhealthy. Maybe. Or it could be a really good idea.

[aggressiveapathy]

And one of the interns could make you a giant hamster wheel. Before you explode from all the buzz.

[anewknope]

Can they do that?

Interns? As in multiples?

[aggressiveapathy]

Mm. I washed up their island and they made me their god queen.

[enigmaestro]

Excuse me. That "old boys' club" is a highly functional governing faction as it is.


And who are you calling old?

[anewknope]

I don't know, I think there are some improvements that I can make! Your "highly functional faction" needs some improvements. There's a time and a place for the elderly, and sometimes they need to step aside for a fresh face!

1/3

[enigmaestro]

[enigmaestro]

[...]

[enigmaestro]

You're preemptively fired.

[anewknope]

Fired!?

For calling you a little aged? Old people are adorable! There's nothing wrong with them!

[enigmaestro]

I'm thirty-six! That's not even counting new universal standards, where everyone is inexplicably twenty-five again!

[retconman]

Why not get started? You've sure got the energy for it.

[anewknope]

The plan is definitely to get things started right away! Everyone other than the truth-fixating guy likes initiative, right?

[retconman]

I sure do. [ As long as it's not in competition with his. :|a ] Get more things done that way.

[anewknope]

Exactly! Hey, it sounds like the City needs more movers and shakers!

[retconman]

Really, what city doesn't? There's a lot to be done and hardly anyone to do it.

[enigmaestro]

Deputy Mayor Nygma to you.

[anewknope]

I've got my finger on the pulse, I know who you are! I've already got the in!

[enigmaestro]

Your optimism betrays you.

[retconman]

You're interrupting.

[720]

Leslie please, if you're going to keep people entertained you need some more razzle dazzle! Put a little wham bam in your shazam!

[anewknope]

I can jazz things up a little! Maybe if I added some bowties to my presentations?

[720]

Yeah, if you want to give them a one way ticket to snoresville. You need action, you need music, you need girls jumping out of cakes.

[anewknope]

I don't think girls jumping out of cakes will get the point across.