olympics & update.

[alphaing]

did i miss something
like why the fuck was voldemort attacked by a thousand mary poppins and why didnt he eviscerate them on the spot
since when are storybooks anything to do with sweaty people in lycra striding around to show off their sweaty athletic ass cracks
what was everyone watching seriously the olympics or a bad trip courtesy of the latest mind rapist intent on touching all our no no secret places
here sweet thing breathe in this chloroform oh check it out britain just set fire to the actual rain
jesus
moving on to the update because we both have better things to wonder about
anyone else feel like catching a mcflurry now
that much red and green looks like me and tz were slurrying our way to our first hideous child
all aboard the vomiting spiral train keep your hands and stomach inside the bar if you can
or just empty them on the pages
not as if you could actually ruin those outfits

Comments

[nitidus]

Verbose as usual, I see.

[alphaing]

you just cant stay away can you
i bet youve written fifty pages of gay porn since those tight page speedos were forever canonized into our skulls

[nitidus]

Absolutely not. You know me, Lycra is a sirens call! I must admit, however, that I am quite preoccupied at my current location trying to "hook you up". I missed the ceremony almost entirely.

[alphaing]

oh my god
who are the candidates
since i cant stop you from screwing up my life you may as well go into detail
its not like im not suffering with just my imagination on hand
what rose lalonde considers date material should be confined to the u-bends on derse

[nitidus]

The spectrum is wide open. Anyone showing an interest is required to write a minimum six hundred word essay on why they think you are "dope" and how "choice" your ass is.

[alphaing]

you know me so well

[nitidus]

You weren't happy, there. I don't which part of it you found tasteful. Perhaps it was the bidding joke? Or the array of attractive photos I listed to your potential suitors? Who knows!
How have you been, Dave?

[alphaing]

whoa hold up what photos
godammit rose
give me names or im throwing you out of the strider-lalonde family forever and into lord englishs bad breath ray

[nitidus]

I do wish you would stop disowning me. Here, if you are so concerned.

[alphaing]

christ ok clicking my doom now

[alphaing]

i hate you

[alphaing]

dont even reply you can wait for me to finish this smear test
shit there are even more links inside

[alphaing]

i hope the other dave kicked your ass for this and handed out pictures of you in the shower
why are you doing this
i can get my own dates you dont need to be a stereotypical pushy little sister

holy shit you start bidding for me

[alphaing]

did i get a good payoff

[nitidus]

The bidding was a joke. I believe he is working on his revenge. Or something. My next venture is to make Davesprite a youtube sensation.

[alphaing]

good he disowned you too were in psychic dave strider agreement you need flinging into the deepest pits of familial disgrace
watch yourself lalonde
one day you just might find your underwear up for grabs from fat hairy men for a dollar fifty

[nitidus]

That you think that would bother me wounds me, Dave. I thought you knew me better than that.

[alphaing]

youre the most messed up of everyone in this genetic spindry and thats saying something

[nitidus]

That is your opinion. I'd say I simply have a sense of humor.

[alphaing]

no thats not humor
torturing me by turning me into a doll for you to mash up against the face of someone else screeching now kiss is seventy blocks from funny
it steps off right at twisted sister

[nitidus]

I think you are overreacting a little. I am sure some "hottie" will reply, vying for your hand.

[alphaing]

you dont know what i find attractive
if this was star trek id be mooning you with FUTILE stamped across my borg buns steaming in the aftermath of imprinting myself with the tattoo for all time because its so fucking relevant to everything that comes out of your mouth and winds up typed in obnoxious lavender on starfleet reddit
fucks sake
go hump kanaya or something cant you spend hours figuring out all the fun places to stick your fingers in each other
swirl them around go nuts spend hours away from intruding on my private life
this is a sincere request from one d strider
alpha of all who came before him and future sororicide purveyor of every known frog universe squirted out between the legs of sburbs clammy quivering thighs when i walk on by
scuse me miss are you planning on supporting a lalonde of your own
royal deringer express has something to say about that

[nitidus]

I don't know what you find attractive? Oh, Dave. Do we really want to go on this journey through memory lane?

[alphaing]

i want to die
why can i never do it when the moments so unfailingly opportune

[nitidus]

Don't be so melodramatic.