Reserved @ heroesparadise

[unconstant_lover]

Stop looking at other people's apps! Just because other people wrote a whole novel for their personality section doesn't mean you have to! Reading their apps is just making you nervous, so just leave it alone, okay?

Focus less on how many paragraphs you've written and more on making what you have written amazing so we'll get accepted on the first go.

...Okay, so part of me really really really wants to be an assassin. So what? Stop questioning me and get back to writing!

Comments

[ziver]

My mun always gets so worked up over app lengths. Most of the time, I want to tell her to stop freaking out and focus on quality and not quantity, because they're two very different things.

Being an assassin is ... interesting work for sure. I used to do it.

[unconstant_lover]

I know! It's like she sees these apps that look like they stretch all the way to the moon and she gets intimidated.

Sounds like you're an interesting person.

[squeak_squeaker]

Being an assassin is no fun, miss, because I found out that it means you got to kill people!

And that's kinda bad. [~Intelligence~]

[unconstant_lover]

[Oho, you deserve her cute innocence routine!]

But what if I just kill bad guys? Wouldn't that be good?

[squeak_squeaker]

I...uhh. I dunno. Killing anyone is bad, right? [Kronk scratched his chin a bit. This was getting complicated!]

[unconstant_lover]

But what if they're really really bad? Like, drowning kittens bad?

[squeak_squeaker]

People drown kitties? [Kronk gasped audibly. That was a THING that people did? R-really?]

Oh...geez. I'd probably kill them! [No mercy for the kitty-drowners.]

[unconstant_lover]

[God, she loves dumb people.]

Yeah! So I'll just kill the really really bad people!

[squeak_squeaker]

[It didn't get any dumber than Kronk.]

That's great! You got to go after the people who drown kitties first, okay? I...I hate those people. [This was actually the first time Kronk experienced hate.]

[unconstant_lover]

[So much potential for fun, so little time...]

Of course! Anyone who hurts kitties is the worst person in the whole universe!

[squeak_squeaker]

I...I didn't even know that people did that! I wanna bash their heads in. [Kronk was all pumped up to kill a bunch of people! Instead of, you know, NOTICING THAT REALLY PRETTY GIRL. Because he really was very stupid.]

[unconstant_lover]

[This is almost easy enough to go from fun to insulting. Almost.]

Yeah! Only I'm not strong enough to bash heads. I'd have to find another way.

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk was very pitiful when he cried. You didn't want that... really.]

Maybe you should poison people, like Yzma. You'll be all, 'Well done for killing those kittens, buddy! Have a drink!' And there'll be poison in it.

[unconstant_lover]

[Well, well. The Dummy came up with a good idea.]

That could work. No one would ever suspect a thing.

[squeak_squeaker]

[That was all Yzma's idea! Kronk's ideas where usually more food-based.]

Yeah... hah. And then no more dead kitties! Do you need a henchman? [Kronk wanted to do evil in the name of kittens! He knew he had to find his boss, Yzma, but he just didn't see her anywhere. Sniff. Maybe she abandoned him?]

[unconstant_lover]

[Logically, the poison must be put in the food. Deadliest spinach puffs ever!]

Yep! No more dead kitties. Hmm...Well, a henchman could help me bash heads if the poison didn't work... [You may be about to get the hottest boss ever.]

[squeak_squeaker]

[Puffs of death! But only for the kitty haters; Kronk was a sweet guy and he didn't just kill people.]

I'm real good at bashing heads and I cook and I know how to talk to chipmunks too. [Was that a good thing in evil henchmen? And, yeah, even Kronk noticed that she was an upgrade from Yzma.]

And we both look great in mini skirts!

[unconstant_lover]

[Oh, of course. Puffs of death are reserved for the worst of the kitty killers.]

All very interesting qualifications. I believe you're hired! [Congratulations! You are now the guy that every guy would kill to be.]

[squeak_squeaker]

REALLY? Woah... that's great! Thanks! I won't disappoint ya. [Riiiight. Kronk was definitely going to mess up every single thing you'll ever ask him to do.]

My name's Kronk! What's yours? [Big, vacant smile. It was nice to have a job again! Could really make himself useful and stuff.]

[unconstant_lover]

I bet you won't! [He won't be doing much, anyway. She's just never hada minion before.]

I'm Catherine.

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk was a... fairly bad minion. He was a sweet guy, though! And he did look good, if you liked men with lots and lots and lots of manliness.]

Huh. Your name's really long! I sure hope I get to remember it.

[unconstant_lover]

[Oh, she can tell he's nice! Just...not too bright.]

Well, if you can't, you can call me Cat.

[squeak_squeaker]

[That made him nice, though! Kronk was very innocent and nice because of his... very not so brightness.]

Cat! Like... like a kitty? [Ohh!]

[unconstant_lover]

[Yes, of course! His not-so-brightness is a good thing.]

Yep! Just like a kitty.

[vertebraebyvertebrae]

An assassin? But isn't that a dangerous task?