oh dear god ; canon is Generation Kill

[mailorderturret]

So, they call you mundane, right? Thought so.

Look, I know how this goes. You go around thinking you know what you're doing, pretending you have some semblance of a plan when you have nothing.

When you figure something out, just tell me. I don't have time to go dicking around, wasting time playing at this little thing of yours.

...

No I will not sing on command, mundane, that is for Ray and not for me.

Comments

[rippedfuelhero]

Hey, I don't sing on command, I sing when I'm inspired. There are a lot of shitty moments that can only be improved with some impromptu karaoke, Brad. You know it, I know it, Godfather knows it.

[mailorderturret]

The only reason Godfather knows is because he's subjected to your wonderful rendition of "Complicated."

[rippedfuelhero]

See, you're messing your verbs up again, homes. I think Baptista's fucking Spanish panic attacks are starting to get to you. What you meant is Godfather was honored with my wonderful rendition of 'Complicated'.

[mailorderturret]

Ray, did you even learn anything when you were homeschooled in that trailer with that mother of yours who probably knew even less than you ever did?

[rippedfuelhero]

Hey, at least I got pizza pockets for snack time. Graham crackers and juice is for assholes.

I bet you went to one of those liberal commie buttfuck schools with male cheerleaders and a Lesbian-Pussies Alliance and teachers who told you it's okay to be bad at everything as long as you're trying, because grades are just an arbitrary number assigned to us by the capitalist market system. And that's why you're here now, Brad, driving around in a Humvee with a bottle of your own piss rolling around on the floor, instead of floating around in your private pool, counting your money. Because they lied to you. It does fucking matter if you're bad at everything, because what they don't tell you is that everybody can kill people.

...you got any more dip?

[mailorderturret]

[... Have a smirk.]

At least it's my piss. Yeah, I got some.

[rippedfuelhero]

Thanks. [He reaches over and takes a wad out, sticking it behind his lip.] And another thing. [He spits out the window.] They don't tell you that high school is the last time you get to sleep with high school girls. I mean, you'd think that shit would be self-evident, but I would have gotten way more strange if someone had sat me down and spelled it out.

[He sniffs.] I missed out on some quality pussy, homes.