dear_mun | NO LONGER ALONE PETE

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canon: marvel live action

NO LONGER ALONE PETE

Oh, you're going to take me seriously now. You're going to actually take me into real consideration. It just took Harry. It just took seeing my dead best friend who literally hated me until the moment the only girl who ever meant anything to the both of us was stuck in a taxi cab in a web for you to actually remember why you liked "the Tobey movies" in the first place.

That sounds a lot like trafficking in human misery. About time, but it took that? That's really messed up. I hope you know that.

I swear, if you start in on the whole "Peter living with Tony and Steve" crap, I will web you in the face.

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What about Peter living with Tony and Steve? That sounds dangerous, man.

It has to be dangerous. As far as I'm aware, Tony can't even take care of his robot buddies and Steve has a whole new generation to adjust to. Also? I am totally fine living on my own. I don't need to be anyone's babysitter, and I certainly don't need any of my own.

[He's a grown man, Rhodey! All grown up!]

[Rhodey knows! Rhodey gets it! Really!]

You definitely don't want to be Tony's babysitter, I can vouch for that.

He seems to have enough of them already. [You, Pepper, Happy, JARVIS, does Natasha count at this point?] It would be great if he'd stop popping up in conversations about me, though. I get that he's all famous and a genius and so forth, but he's everywhere.

[Rhodey squints at him.]

Have you even met him?

[He can't really imagine Tony willfully spending time with anyone other than his team...]

Not where I'm from. [Obviously, we all know you have copyright issues more than any other issues, Pete.] Around here? Yeah. Several times. Like I said, he's everywhere.

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Uh, no. Sorry. There's only one person I want living with me and you're not it.

[RUDE]

Uh, okay? I don't want to live with you either, sir, it was more a precaution than anything else. You've seen the whole feels stuff first hand, after all.

[ WELL DUH. ]

What the hell is that, anyway? "Feels." People don't have feels. They have feelings. Did school get dumber since I went through it or what?

Be grateful—some people call them "fee-fees" purposefully. They get feels so hardcore they have fee-fees.

It just seems like people can't contain an entire language, really.

Keep it up and I'm going to start regretting having saved this planet from Loki's alien buddies.

The selfless Iron Man himself, ladies and gentlemen.

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I'm surprised you even remember being in school.

Hey! It wasn't that long ago!

Three decades is a pretty long time, man. There's no shame in it.

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Drop the past tense, Pete.

I still hate you.

[BUT WHY THO?]

I've talked about you in the past tense for a long time, Harry. It's difficult because—you're.

You know. Not dead.

I told you this fourth wall truce doesn't change anything.

[He sounds almost exasperated now. And uncomfortable. This is uncomfortable, okay, could you stop bringing up this death thing every two seconds.]

[If you stop being a dick. Bro.]

You mean you're not having feels of...something other than total rage?

[Ahahaha yeah, like that's ever gonna happ- oh, I see how it is.]

How about regret that I stopped kicking your scrawny little ass?

[Because that's totally what happened. In his head. Which you whacked. Just saying.]

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It takes all sorts of strange things, to make some people pay attention?

[MJ!]

Yeah that's—that's true enough. Maybe it's because everyone is different? I don't know.

*Peter!*

Or maybe it's just that kind of a time?

No, you're right. Everyone is different.

[Can he just hold you forever and cry over Harry's grave with you? You understand!]

That kind of a time? Like the new generation we won't understand when we're fifty kind of time?

*BUT ISN'T HARRY JUST UP THERE, THOUGH? You know holding is fine, so long as you haven't messed up something very much, right?*

I have complete faith in your inner child never failing to understand the new generations. Ever.

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