dear_mun | (no subject)

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No señorita, I do not find the username you seem to have chosen for me funny in the slightest. Just because I have made a few mistakes in my life does not mean I do so constantly. You just choose to focus on those few mistakes.

The icons are appreciated though of course, you didn't make those. Make jokes about my efficacy all you want, but at least I'm not lazy.

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The unofficial sort. Though I don't do much writing really. That's up to my... friends. I just find the things out these days. Get the evidence and such. So many politicians have dirty laundry after all, and don't the people deserve to know?

So, like a blogger. You, what, scour the internet and tabloids for weird things?

I dunno. Do the people deserve to know all your dirty laundry? Politicians are people first. They do stupid things, just like anyone else. And all the stupid scandal coverage sort of overshadows the actual issues. Who cares what the guy's views on the economy are when he's been caught banging a hooker? [Eyeroll.]

Nope, I leave the internet to people better at such things than me. I'm old school I guess. Give me physical papers. Actual signatures. That sort of thing. And just a touch of undercover work. Anything to get the information.

Hey, I agree. That stuff's bullshit. I'm talking more about... say using taxpayer money to funnel arms to Africa.

Old school journalist. [She nods at that. Kind of nice, actually.] Looking up stuff in physical archives instead of online ones. If you're in the States, you'd be the one making use of the Freedom of Information Act, I'm guessing, instead of hacking to find stuff out.

[And now you've got her interest.]

Serious old school journalist. That is serious shit. You'd have been all over that stuff in the 80s, then, with the US and the Middle East and all.

Oh I do. Nice little piece of legislation you all have. Very useful.

[His expression turns a bit more serious]

You assume it's not still happening.

It's useful when it works. You hear stories every once in a while about it not working like it's supposed to. But that's bureaucracy, isn't it?

With the US? Interfering in the Middle East? I'd never have guessed. [Lots of sarcasm there.]

It's affecting import tariffs, and it's only gonna be worse when it's time to reevaluate taxes on sand and certain oils in the fall. [Eyeroll.] Of course it comes on my watch.

[And now a laugh]

Oh honey, get your America-centric head out of your ass. You all always think it's all about you and your adolescent country. And it's not. No matter how much you try to make it.

Also, check your maps. Africa is not the Middle East, last time I checked.

[And have a glare for that.]

One: I'd been following up on the thing I'd said about the 80s with the comments on the US and the Middle East.

Two: I'm not worried about the freaking US when I'm worrying about tariffs and imports, so don't assume shit. I'm worrying about my own country, thank you very much.

Three: Yeah, I passed Geography with a 102, so don't lecture me, research assistant. You were talking Africa. I wasn't.

Four: Patronizing a Lady is never classy.

[He'll just reply with hands up in surrender and a cocky grin]

Whoa, call off the dogs, Señorita Poly-Sci. No need to show off your shiny credentials. So if you're not American, let me guess. Canadian? Nah, too laid back most of the time. And you don't sound British...

Classiness has never been one of my stronger traits.

You might want to work on that, then. Never know when you'll need to schmooze your way into finding documents, after all.

[Oh, and now she's just smiling enigmatically.]

Not Canadian, not British. Can't tell by the accent, Mr. Spanish Journalist?

Edited 2012-07-19 18:14 (UTC)

Schmoozing's just a polite word for bribery. And that I know how to work.

[He cocks his head to the side and thinks]

I'm not an expert in English-language accents. American, or lower Canadian I'd guess.

Not necessarily. Being polite and classy keep you on the good lists, as opposed to the watch out for this guy lists. Polite and classy get you the dance with the secretary who has access to the documents you want. Fifty bucks might offend her.

[Nods.]

Good guess. All I can tell from yours is "Spain" as opposed to "Americas." Pacific Northwest for me. American Pacific Northwest. But that's not what I mean when I'm talking about my country's imports.

Trying to tell me how to do my job? Not classy either, my dear señorita. Bribery is not just about money you know.

Your country? [An amused raised eyebrow] And where would that be, pray tell?

Not telling, just offering some advice. Though if you tried schmoozing any of my archivists instead of doing things legit, I'd have to throw you in the dungeons.

[Have another enigmatic smile.]

Somewhere easy to find on a map and nowhere you can actually find, Señor Journalist.

[A laugh]

I'm starting to think you're just playing with me, Señorita Poly-Sci

I could swear I'm not, but if you think I'm only playing, it won't mean anything to you.

[She offers him a gloved hand.]

Raven Masters, pleased to meet you, Señor Journalist.

Very true.

Batista. A pleasure.

Just Batista? That a first name or last name? Or did you pick it like Madonna did?

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