dear_mun | Kronk is still unemployed/homeless Kronk

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canon: disney animated

Kronk is still unemployed/homeless Kronk

You know, mun... I don't think they're all that bad! Villains, I mean.

They probably just need a nice, big hug and some hot chocolate and a marsh- two marshmallows and some chocolate fudge cheesecake and a comfy chair with extra pillows and a foot massage and a henchman who's going to be all understanding and helpful. And chiseled! Can't forget chiseled. [Oh yeah, Kronk was definitely the chiseled...est henchman anyone could possibly want!]

I sure wish it was easy to get a job, like back home... no one even wants a henchman without recommendations these days! Yzma's only a kitty, she can't recommend me to people. [Kronk scratched his big chin a little, before smiling brightly.] But I promise I did a great job! Sure, stuff went wrong... but that was Yzma's fault too. She should really label all those identical pink potions bottles! They're all the same. Identical. That's what it means, identical. The same.

Couldn't tell 'em apart if my life depended on it... and it kinda did! So... uhh. Anyone hiring?

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Hmm, I wouldn't mind a big, strong, loyal, dependable (hot, buff) guy to help me defeat the Sailor Senshi (and one who can cook doesn't hurt, either!)

So, you up for it, big guy?

...huh. [You really lost Kronk at 'hot'! Did he look a bit feverish?]

I'd love to, ma'am, but if I got a fever I dunno if I can start working right away. [Was this even a ma'am? It was difficult to say sometimes! All in all, this made for a very confused Kronk.]

[Zoisite looks confused, then shakes his head]

First of all, I'm male, but I forgive you for that as it happens a lot. What I need for you to do is whatever you can to stop the Sailor Senshi from ruining our plans while we collect rainbow crystals for Queen Beryl.

Oh okay! I'm male too! [Kronk looked very proud indeed for remembering that. Then, he looked confused again. Get used to that look, Zoisite! You'll be seeing it a whole lot if you decide to employ Kronk.]

Woah... that sounds kinda complicated. But I'll do my very best for you! [Chest puff!]

.........you have a point. Villains aren't always completely bad.

[Oh hey, Kronk! This Mia's done with playing the time warp and is younger than she was before. But for the sake of keeping things easy on them both, she'll remember their past/future encounter.]

Yzma had loads of nice, happy sides to her! I...uh. I think. [Kronk wasn't awfully sure, but... she had to, right? He was really happy to see that nice Mia lady from earlier, even though she looked just a little younger than he remembered! But his memory wasn't very good to begin with.]

Maybe I'll get to work for someone else! Do you need a henchman? [Expectant headtilt.]

People are often layered like that. There's more than what might just be on the surface.

I don't particularly need a henchman, nor do people usually consider me a villain. But I'll always accept applications to work at the Magic Guild. With the city growing as it has been in the last decade or so, it likely wouldn't hurt to have another experienced chef helping out in the kitchen.

Yzma always said people stopped being nice to her once she got old and...uhh.

Different looking. [Kronk looked down for a bit, saddened by Yzma's plight, before gasping. A MAGIC Guild? With... with magical unicorns and magical pie ingredients?]

Woah. Do you really think they'd want a guy like me around? I'm not so good with magic! That stuff's confusing.

I think they'd be willing to overlook it if they tried your cooking, Kronk. Some people are a bit stuffy about magic but others know that there are valuable talents besides magic.

Don't sell yourself short.

Uhh. Uhm. Do you really think they'd like my cooking? [Kronk's tan face flustered a bit. Compliments always made him feel shy!]

Well, there's only one way to find out.

I can always try it first.

You'd do that for me, REALLY? [Oh oh, happy flailing time! Kronk ran off and returned, still wearing his big oven mitts, with a freshly baked chocolate fudge cheesecake.]

This one's yummy! I... I think. [Big, hopeful smile.]

[Mia's eyes jump open.]

Oh goodness, this is the sort of stuff my husband likes to make. And Miss Mun, for that matter.

Not too big a slice, though. If it's as good as it looks, I'm afraid I'll just sit and eat the whole thing if you let me.

Huh. Is he a good cook too? [Kronk's eyes grew big from hearing about another man who liked to cook! His Papi never approved of him doing it.]

My mun's not good yet, but she's learning! She made some batches of cupcakes that turned out real good. [He beamed and then looked at Mia's tiny self.] You won't get chubby from eating two slices, ma'am- miss! I eat lots of cake and my waists' still small.

Oh yes. He used to think it was servant work. I taught him the basics so that he could survive if he was ever alone. After that, he took an interest and now he's better than me.

[Not that Draco's parents approve necessarily, but he doesn't care.]

Miss Mun went to culinary school and works in a restaurant. She's thinking about making some sorbet this afternoon.

[Mia looks over herself.]

Oh, I'm not worried about that. I used to be smaller before Draco started cooking, actually. But it'll be time for supper sooner or later. And while it'd be lovely to have cheesecake for supper, I'll want to save room for something savory.

Ohh... yeah, it is servant work! [Kronk couldn't imagine Yzma or Emperor Kuzco cooking. It was HIS most favorite thing to do, though!]

Sorbets are yummy! And... and delicious. I sure wish I got to go to a real school, instead of only my mama teaching me stuff. But...uhh. No one back home went to school. [Important, wealthy people hired private teachers and other smart people to teach them stuff but Kronk never got that chance.]

Maybe I should save room for something savory too! Or do you think my tummy's big enough for all that stuff?

[Mia shakes her head.]

Everyone needs to know how to cook because you never know when you'll have to take care of yourself.

It's all right if people don't go to school. Many of my friends didn't. My city's one of the few that actually has a school.

It wouldn't hurt to save some room. Then, if you eat all the savory you want and still have room, you can have more cheesecake. Which, by the way, I'm very eager to try now.

You're right! And... and then you can make the most delicious stuff for yourself and for your pals! Like cake. And spinach puffs.

And cookies. [Kronk smiled and removed his trusty oven mitts for a bit.] I wish I knew how to read words tho. I heard books are great fun and there's lots of recipes I want to try!

[He quickly cut off a generous piece of cake and placed it on a plate in front of her.] I hope you'll love it!

Well, I can teach you how to read. Or Mother can. She often teaches adults how to read in the library.

[She wastes no more time and takes a bite of the offered cheesecake. Her eyes roll back and her mouth melts into a smile.]

You're hired.

Do you...uhh. Do you really think I can learn how to read? [Kronk blinked a few times. What would it be like, to be a scholar? He'd be a much better henchman as well, if he was a little cleverder.]

I AM? Must be some cake! [He started eating and oh oh, it WAS cheesecakey goodness... and chocolatey goodness. And covered in fudge, too! Itwasmagical.]

Yes, I can see that you are VERY male. [Smiles]

So what's been happening is that I'm trying to get these rainbow crystals from seven people who carry them in their bodies, but they aren't aware of it. I have a black crystal that leads me to them, and that pulls the rainbow crystal from inside them, thus turning them in monsters that do my bidding. My problem are five little girls dressed in sailor skirts that keep getting in my way. All you need to do is keep between me and them, and I'll be able to do my job. Sounds easy, right?

Yeah! [This wasn't just your average manliness level that you where dealing with here.]

Uhh... oh. Crystals? [Poor Kronk's eyes began to go a little unfocused from all that confusing stuff! He wanted to be a good henchman, but that wasn't easy when the material he had to work with was this complicated.]

Wait! I think I kinda get it! Do I have to wear a sailor skirt? [Sailor Kronk would be the best Sailor Scout. Also best legs.]

Anyone can learn how to read. If it's something you really want to do, then you'll put in the time and effort to do it. You just need someone who knows how to show you.

[Seriously. Sure, there are many variations one could concoct. Caramel fudge cheesecake, perhaps. Coffee fudge cheesecake, maybe. One could even make peanut butter fudge cheesecake. But the simple yet rich glory that is chocolate fudge cheesecake is hard to top for a reason.]

Maybe... maybe you wanna teach me? [Mia was the most patient lady Kronk had ever met! Most people got annoyed with him, but it seemed like she somehow didn't.]

I'll be a good student! I won't doodle on my paper and I won't stare out of the window. [Those where about the worst things he could imagine doing while being taught how to read and write. That and whistling!]

It's... it's so yummy. Gee, I'm kinda regretting how we said we'd only have one slice!

[Tries not to laugh] No, I did that once, but I don't think you could pull it off; you're too muscular to pass for a girl. [Glances down] Hey, you're already wearing a skirt. Well, in any case, there's no reason for you to wear one of their skirts, just get in their way and try to look menacing. Sailormoon is a real crybaby, and she scares easily.

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