dear_mun | Mun's planning on apping him to striatum. Muse is not happy.

Mun, please be reasonable. I'm not--it's a post-apocalyptic survival horror game! And you want to put me there without my memories?! That's--no, no, I'm not going to be able to survive there!

[You don't give yourself enough credit, Reid.]

My memories--I need them, they're what make me me! Memories, memories form one's image of oneself, provide context to put future experiences in, inform how one wants to behave... [The idea of his mun actually altering his mind is deeply upsetting, even more so than the idea of being dropped in a dangerous world. He feels downright violated by the concept.] Without that, I don't have a chance of survival. This place... there are things that can turn me into a single-minded murderer. They can turn me into what I've dedicated my life to fighting. This is...

...Listen, Mun, you like me, right? That's what you tell me. Well, listen, I've found that, that I've come to terms with a lot of things. I can handle the possibility of death, of torture, and of pain. I don't want to face it, but if that's what you do to me, I know I can't stop you. I can handle all that, but please... let me keep my mind intact.

[I wonder if I want to send in his vampire AU instead...]

...You're not listening.

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...I don't like the sound of this.

That makes two of us.

[Reid fidgets with his hands and does his best to not look terrified.] I don't know what to do. I can't convince her.

Like the place isn't bad enough without you being stripped of your memories. [ He really hates that idea... ]

The worst part is that's optional. She wants my memories taken away.

[Can you tell he's upset? Because he's upset.] Who would that even make me?

[ He is very upset, he can tell. Which means he needs to step in and try to calm him down. ]

Reid, listen to me. Memories shape us, define us, but they aren't all that we are. Nothing can take that away from you completely.

I wouldn't be so sure. There are things there that can wipe a person's personality away completely, along with the memories.

[He rubs his face with his hands. He's trying really hard to not show exactly how upset he is, but he's failing miserably.] I wouldn't remember the team. I wouldn't remember you or Hotch or Morgan or JJ or Garcia or Emily--not Gideon or Elle or even my own mother and father--what does that leave me? I'd be--I'd be a child again, just with adult behavior and biology.

So it's like being born all over again. How do you think it'll change you? [ Getting him to answer things, rather than just letting him ramble, might help calm his nerves a bit. ] What makes you Spencer?

I don't know how it would change me. I don't know how much of my personality is inborn and how much was created by my experiences.

[He starts chewing on his lip.] I don't think I'd even be Spencer anymore. I'd--my intelligence would stay intact, but nothing else. I wouldn't know my name or where I'm from or who my parents were--I would be a blank slate.

[ It's so difficult to imagine Reid without his memories. Difficult and odd, and...unpleasant. ]

You might not be alone. [ Not that it helps much, especially if they've both lost their memories. ]

Wait, what?

[...Fuck.]

I-I'm sorry, Rossi, I shouldn't have mentioned it in public...

You and I both know this wasn't your fault.

If there's one thing I know about my mun, it's that she would've found a place like this eventually.

Yes, but maybe it wouldn't have...

[He sighs in frustration.]

Well, at least you won't be alone either, I guess.

Won't do us much good if we can't remember each other. [ It sounds more cynical than he means for it to. ]

[Hey, weren't you trying to get Reid to not freak out a second ago?] The game information says that people are supposed to regain memories with time. If one of us remembers...

[ Sorry, Reid. He's a little bitter. ] One of us will. [ There. A little more optimism. And it's not false optimism, either. He really does believe that. ]

[Give him a second to scrub his face with his hands.]

Well, my application's in.

[And his mun decided to nix all his memories. He's not happy.]

[ Tormented, as always. Poor muses. ]

Doesn't look like my mun's decided to change her mind, either.

[Reid crosses his arms, looking a little crestfallen. He was accepted. He had been hoping that maybe...]

Well... if you do come... whichever one of us remembers first will fill in the other. [Trying to make the best of this.]

Mun's planning on apping him to striatum. Muse is not happy.

Oooh that game looks interesting

There's a lot of free space if you're interested :3

I am seriously considering it...

It'd be a ton of fun~ /enables ruthlessly

You're gonna make me app dammit. :P I love the premise of it.

You know you want to. :3 Also, whoops, fixed the link in the subject

I'm a sucker for AUs. I've pretty much got an app done already hahaha

Really? 8D Are you going for memory loss or no? :3

I haven't decided yet. It's very tempting. Especially if they both lose their memories. :3

Excuse me while I squee in delight...

Apparently we love to torment our characters XD

Tormentors, unite! 8D

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