dear_mun | Enabled into voice testing a new muse. Post Civil War.

Entry tags:

Enabled into voice testing a new muse. Post Civil War.

All I keep hearing you go on about is how much fun this will be. [His mouth thins.]

Going to have to disagree. You pulled me from the end of a war. A war between people I consider friends. [But how much have the lines blurred? How many friendships has he ruined fighting for what he believes? At least one that he knows of--Tony isn’t going to forgive him for this.] People died, innocent people, what part of that entertains you? I fought against—

[Everyone. The government, public servants, friends, his dearest friends and this whole mess is likely his fault. Even if he never meant to use his title to sway opinions Tony’s jab had hit a little too close for comfort and he wonders if it’s true. Did other heroes turn on their friends just because he’s Captain America?

He shakes his head, silencing himself.]

It wasn’t enjoyable. And I know I died; I remember. You’re not doing anyone any favors by reminding them.

[Bringing him back won’t fix this. It’s already too late for that.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

My mun's been refusing to read that. Sounds like it's a good idea to keep refusing.

Uh, sorry. You had to go through that.

My mundane offers tissues, in the event yours does.

Not as sorry as I am, son.

[He let it go on too long. He should've have agreed to talks sooner, realized that he'd gone about it wrong, but no. It's too late for that.]

...Yeah, I guess no sorry from anyone else will ever really stand up to that, huh.

[He can't even begin to imagine that. War, between the people of Earth. The protectors of it.]

It doesn't make yours mean any less. [He tips his head in thanks.] I have a lot more to apologize for.

[Unfortunately, all the apologies in the world are just words unless he can help fix it.]

I hope the superheroes in your universe choose a different path.

[His mundane may not have mentioned who you are. Whoops.]

So do I.

[It's difficult to think about, something like that ever happening in his own universe.]

Maybe I'll get lucky and never have to deal with it at all.

We can only hope. The war ruined plenty of friendships.

[And cost plenty of lives.]

It's information like this I wish I could really take with me. The Captain America in my universe isn't even defrosted yet, there'd be plenty of time to stop the war from happening.

[Sigh, the downside to multi-universal hubs and shared knowledge.]

...Don't yell.

[Oh. Fancy seeing you here.]

No, I'd say we're past that now.

[Yeah, well. Small universe.]

Can you not start with that look?

[Too small, apparently.

He sighs and crosses his arms.]

How should I look?

[Because he's just back from the dead, again (sort of, the ice totally counts) and their friendship is probably ruined.]

Should I smile and say we should let bygones be bygones? Pretend nothing happened?

No. Of course not, I-

[Ah, damn it. Damn it.]

That's not what I meant, Steve. I just want us to- I want this to stop.

I never meant for it to start.

[Honestly, he never planned on it to go this far when he'd run from SHIELD or for Tony to be on the other side of things. He hates this, this fighting, this tension between them. Tony had been the one shining beacon in this century. As lost as Steve had felt, the other man had helped, had given him everything he'd needed to adjust.

He likes to think he never took that for granted, but maybe he did, assuming Tony would see his side of things and have his back.]

But I'll never agree with the Act, Tony. You have to understand that. It's giving the government too much power. Politicians are corrupt and always have been. They only get worse. Give them an inch and they'll take a mile.

I know. I know you didn't.

[Of all the things he never wanted to happen, falling out with Cap was the worst. And he caused that somewhat intentionally, hoping that it would end up better in the end. But it never did get better.

Now he just sighs, looking away.]

You really don't have to tell me this, you know. I'm pretty familiar with politicians. But I just... I didn't have a choice. Not one that would have made it better for us. You know, there are a lot of things I wanted to say to you before. Reasons for the decisions I made.

It got worse. It just kept getting worse.

[Is it wrong of him that he would have preferred Project Wideawake? At least then, they would have been on the same side, fighting for the same thing and having one another's back like it should have been. It wouldn't have torn their friendship apart.]

Then why? Why did lay down with them? Why did you choose them over us?

[And don't give him the same line about Hank or Reed taking your place at the head. Even if they had, how many really would have willingly fought against Iron Man and Captain America? And how many people would have taken a second look at the Act?]

We have plenty of time for you to tell me now. [And this time he'll listen. He wants to understand even if he doesn't agree; he has to know what reason had been good enough to cause this rift between them.] It doesn't make up for before, I know. T'Challa gave us a chance to talk, sooner than we did. [He frowns.] We should have taken it.

[Another mistake, one Tony claims Captain America doesn't make but it's there all the same.]

[Yes, it's wrong of him. Yes. He can't just sacrifice the potential lives for something like superhero solidarity. He's the hero. The best. Tony's friendship is always second to Captain America's integrity and good name. Serving up more people to the machine would be intolerable.]

Why?

[It's the same answer, Cap. It's the one he believes in. It doesn't end with Wideawake. Wideawake is only the start. If they rebel, they declare war not on each other, but on the people they wanted to defend. The us versus them becomes something unbalanced and sick. It was bad enough with heroes fighting heroes, but in war? The eventual price would have been the public. And not by accident.]

I guess... I wanted to do something right. I know, you- you're not going to like this. It's going to sound bad, but just bear with me. I wanted to stand by my decision. To protect, and it was the way I knew how. You always make the hard decisions, and I- I can't. I could barely keep myself on top of things before. I've always done things on my own, my own way. This time I had a chance to at least follow through.

[Who knows if that even makes sense to him. But there it is.]

We should have talked, but maybe it wouldn't have helped then either. I'm starting to wonder.

[Only a passing thought, one he would be ashamed to examine. The people and what they need from them are always more important.

Sometimes Steve is weary of being Captain America--always the symbol, the protector, the one with the answers and always the one sacrificing everything. How many friendships has he lost over the years? He hates that this could be another.]

Hell of a time to decide to stand up for something. [He crosses his arms. It's not meant as an insult--they've traded enough of those--and Tony already knows his reasons.] It's just as hard to decide you're on the wrong side or fighting for the wrong people. [Maybe harder than sticking to your guns to begin with though this only backs Tony's 'Captain America makes the hard decisions' theory. Surrendering at the end had not been easy.]

I don't know either. I like to think it would have.

[He pauses, eyes serious as he watches Tony. He still wonders one thing and this time he'll control his temper.]

Was it worth it?

[He never did get his answer.]

[Maybe Tony thinks too much about it. Always, constantly, to the point of craving something else just to relieve his mind of the stress. And maybe it goes too far. His desire to live up to everything Steve puts in front of him, both verbally and by example. He gets lost in all that drive.

So he's hurt when his efforts are brushed off again. Not that he didn't expect it, but it still hurts.] It's easy for you. You could just- of course you don't have to question yourself. You never have to...

[Fucking hell. And they're back to the line again. It's all over and they're still back to the line. Tony can feel his pride kicking in, too. That high-wire, rebellious gamble that plays at his nerves and makes him want to argue. Because he hates banging his head against the proverbial wall of intractable reason that is Steve Rogers. Captain America.]

God damn it, Steve.

[Never happy unless you win, huh? Even if you lose, you never lose. That's what he wants to say, what he almost says. But Tony manages to bite his tongue.]

It was costing us lives. More lives. Innocent ones, and not superheroes or- I was trying to save people.

[He's right. It was a hell of a time to decide to stand up and stick to his principles. To decide the cause was bigger than his feelings. Nothing like arguing with Captain America to remind you of what league you're in.]

Edited 2012-07-15 00:25 (UTC)

[Second-guessing motives and re-examining your own values never won wars. Every time he'd spoken to Tony, it'd ripped something new open, another doubt surfaced. Did people agree with him about the Act or did they just follow him blindly? That had hit him hard regardless of whether he'd said anything.]

I know it was. I know and hunting us in populated areas wasn't your best move, nevermind using known villains. Neither of those was going to lead to anything but casualties.

[It'd only started at Stamford. How many more? He's not sure he ever saw the numbers or wants to. It's all on them, both of them, for dragging this out.

By the end of it, he's not sure any of them had really known what they'd been fighting for anymore. Steve had realized that abruptly and but too late in the war to change anything. Even Captain America couldn't change what had already happened.]

Why do you think I ended it? I knew you wouldn't. SHIELD wouldn't. They would have fought until all of us were buried. We're lucky we didn't have to bury--

[No. Enough. Peter had survived and it'd just be stupid to drag the same arguments out again. This is going to go nowhere fast. Somewhere, someone has to yield or it'll just come to blows. Again.]

What would the outcome of my trial have been?

[If, you know, he hadn't jumped in front of a bullet meant for a guy just doing his job. Steve doesn't have to be a futurist to guess but Tony had been on the other side of things. Would he have come to the trial? Visited him in federal prison?]

[He'd be shocked to hear that, honestly. Captain America doesn't doubt. He's not wrong... not really, not where it counts. He doesn't agree with him about the Act, but in essence he isn't wrong.

The points about the things he's done make Tony flinch.]

I made sure- I made sure they were safe. I... You made it so hard to do anything that I just did whatever I could. And I'm not proud of it, Cap. The longer it all went on, the worse it got. For all of us. And if I didn't- if I didn't do things fast, then-

Then it was never going to end. It would just escalate until there was nothing left. Just us.

[He loses the fire of confrontation as he thinks that over. Just an endless wasteland of their inability to come to terms. It's the thing he was afraid of most during those battles, that none of it would ever end, and that Steve surrendered because he wouldn't... Well, of course Captain America would take the high ground even if he had to lose to do it.]

If I had ended it, then nothing would be standing.

[You take away what you want from that. He sounds defeated. The answer that Steve doesn't want and the question that Tony hates are all the same anyway. What if, what if.]

I don't know. Didn't think that far ahead. I just wanted to stop us from wrecking everything even more, so I threw it all into- Well, you know that already. Anything would have been better.

[And that's the whole bottom line, isn't it? Anything would have been better than this.]

No, it wasn't. It wasn't worth it.

This is going to end well.

It can't end worse.

[It's actually said in an almost optimistic tone, which is as good as he can do right now, sorry. But really, you can only go up from 'assassinated' so there's that.]

If it is any comfort, Steve, the world is a better place because of what you did. Because of you, millions of people - human and metahuman alike - need not fear another Nazi state.

My only wish is that I could have led the armies of Genosha to your aid and put the conflict to rest before it got too out of hand.

It's a small comfort. I was trying to help, to avoid letting what I saw happen during the war happen again in this century. We're supposed to learn from history but I'm not sure anybody does.

It seems to be the tragic fate of our world. The only thing people understand is bloodshed.

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots & tyrants."

I only wish that you did not have to suffer for it. You are the only human I have ever respected.

You're a good man, Rogers. And I'm sorry for what happen to you, and Foster, and all that. But you and your people started that war.

The government started it by creating the Registration Act. By forcing us into a corner, and maybe it didn't work out the way it should have [Okay, definitely didn't work out the right way.] but the Act is wrong.

[Through everything, he stills believe that much.]

Rogers, I got drafted into the whole Avengers business to keep an eye on the Wackos. I get my marching orders from Uncle Sam. And I don't see anything wrong with the rest of us long-underwear types doin' the same.

Supervillains are powerful. If they weren't, they wouldn't need us to protect civilians. Our identities would never be safe enough. It would only be a matter of time before villians would be hunting down anyone that could claim to have a connection to us. Co-workers, friends, loved ones, they'd all find themselves in danger. We volunteer to put ourselves in the line of fire; they shouldn't have to, just because of the choice we make.

[He frowns.]

Politicians have always been corrupt. We'd find ourselves used for personal gain or be buried under so much tape we'd never save another life when we were needed. Give the government even a little power over us and they'd just want more.

Cops and lawyers run the same kinda risks, Rogers, and some of them deal with the same kinda scum.

[Quietly sidestepping the fact that his own parents were killed when his id got out.]

Still beats the hell out of the alternative, you ask me.

You didn't… you didn't die, you know.

No, I didn't. She hasn't read that far. I haven't even been buried yet.

[His mundane is working on it.]

It was worse than that.

[:\ he's so cheery]

Worse? How can it be worse?

[Dead is usually the bottom of the totem pole there.]

[Well, Bucky knows a few ways…]

You never really went into it. Not with me. But I could tell— they had you holed up somewhere, somewhere dark.

[Also the Red Skull took over your body temporarily, sorry.]

I gather no one knew I was alive?

[Great, that sounds like a mess.]

What happened with the Act, Bucky?

[Was it worth everything?]

Sharon did. She figured it out.

The Act? [Marvel kinda forgot about it, and Tony Stark forgot about it hardcore. It was never something Bucky understood— he was too caught up in other wars, other losses, at the time.]

I guess it's gone, now.

She always was smart.

[He can't help the fond smile, SHIELD had known about them, it'd only be a matter of time before everyone else figured out. He turns serious as he nods.]

That's all that matters.

[Everything else can be mended, patched back up and maybe he loses friendships but they're free.]

Yeah, forgive me for saying so, but there's a lotta other stuff that matters. [Like the whole Red Skull terrorist plot. Or Steve not being dead, thanks.]

You fought for what was right. Just like you always did.

Someone needed to stand against it.

[He'd fight against the Act again in heartbeat, just. Differently.]

This war, infighting between superheroes, it wasn't the right way.

[He should have realized sooner but what can you do? He'd paid for his mistake.]

Your... not-quite-death was a tragedy, Captain.

[Not said: 'Your surrender was even worse.' He loves you, man, but was Not Impressed when you caved.]

[He'd always known he'd had friends and plenty that would be upset by his passing but this reaction is still startling. It's like sitting in on his own wake.]

It opened some eyes. If it had to happen, I'm glad it did that much.

[Their goals had twisted. He's just the first one that had realized.]

Heh. [A humorless chuckle. Given all that went down, everybody trying to steal his name and append it to their own agenda, trying to trivialize Steve as best they could- The only thing to do is to laugh, about how it wasn't funny at all.]

I would have expected far, far more from it... but perhaps that only shows my age. Still, even though matters get worse- they do get better. Shortly after you do, in truth.

[For fighting to win instead of fighting to be free? That's not something Herc would feel the slightest regret for; he thought Steve knew well enough that there is no substitute for victory. And he still thinks that victory would have had genuine meaning.

Herc would normally offer you up 'The Gift' right about now to take your mind off all this brooding, man... but you know, right now he's just not feeling it.]

Y... you died?

[Someone's from just before all that fun stuff, JOY.]

[He really hates to be the bearer of bad news here.]

Yeah, son, I did.

[He should count himself lucky.]

[There... really are no words for this.]

Oh my god... Cap, I'm so...

[And the words just feel empty before he can even say them, so he stops himself.]

But... you're alive here, right? So that's something...

[ othankgod a Captain from his canon and not movie!verse ]

It gets better, honest.

I'm glad to hear that.

[He nods with just a hint of a smile. It is good to hear, though he isn't sure how it could get much worse.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Enabled into voice testing a new muse. Post Civil War.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Oop, sorry this took so long. I'm shaky on the X-Men /o\

Seeing as how I haven't been able to afford an actual comic for nearly a decade, I am too. :P

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Comic books why so expensive /sob

no subject

no subject

no subject

Uploaded this 'fr srs' icon just for this

It is a very srs fais

Now I just neeed to come up with more non-party faces.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Sorry this took so long! His tags were all in my spam for some reason :|