voice testing

[hozart]

Yo, wait, what? For real, fuckin' dragons and shit? The hell, lady? I'm still getting used to this drinking blood crap and you want me to go hang out with fuckin' like Dracula or whatever? What, you don't have enough failpires stinking up the place, you needed to add another one? What about that other kid? -- he's too young. Okay, uhh, what about, like, that crazy chick who looks like Lady Gaga? Scares the shit out of me, likes to lean over and breathe really heavy in your ear? What am I, a quota?

No, okay, let's clear this up now: I don't do secret police, I don't do mystery, I don't do evil eldritch horror fog monsters trying to suck out your brains like delicious tender mac and cheese. I like my brains where they are! In my head! Being used! For stuff! And I'm already in trouble with the police, remember, I told that cop that he could suck my --

You're not even listening, are you. Fuck my actual life.

Comments

[oneborneveryminute]

That all depends. Do you want her to notice? I suggest the use of pyrotechnics and other elaborate special effects. Avoid movie projectors, though. It's far too Mystery Machine.

[hozart]

Taking a hostage would make a strong statement. Problem is, which one?

[oneborneveryminute]

Go for the heartstrings. Find the most innocent, likable one in the bunch.

[hozart]

Ugh, she's a crier. I'm gonna need a lot of duct tape.