(no subject)

[ss_buttcrack]

Is this some kind of sick joke?

I've been subjected to a lot of crazy stuff these past four cycles, but your pathetic attempt to write me into some weird online nuthouse might just be the topper on the insane wedding cake that is my life. Do you even know what you're doing. I mean, have you even done this before? Yeah...I didn't think so. Oh this is gonna be fun...

Comments

[fuckinghateadrenaline]

Let me guess. You're new here, right?

[ss_buttcrack]

I'm new everywhere I go. This isn't much different considering the loony things I've seen.

[fuckinghateadrenaline]

At least you're used to crazy bullshit going on. I'm just an Ambulance Tech from Leeds.

[ss_buttcrack]

I used to be a scientist at NASA, the scariest part of my day was drinking the coffee made by the intern. Now I spend my days running for my life with a crew of escaped alien prisoners on the run from half the galaxies in the universe, and they aren't even the crazy ones. Well one or two of them are...

[fuckinghateadrenaline]

Oh, Rachid will bloody love this.

[A laugh and a shake of his head.]

Sounds like you got the rough end of the 'scientist's best dream' thing.

[ss_buttcrack]

Yeah, close encounters my ass. I went to space to test a theory I had which could eventually have lead to interstellar space travel and I end up crashing my space module into an honest to god space ship.

Ever had one of those days?

[fuckinghateadrenaline]

Oh, yeah. I once gave an upside-down woman an open heart massage.

[And that's it.]

[ss_buttcrack]

Ok. Even to me that sounded weird. What kind of ambulance do you drive'n?!

[fuckinghateadrenaline]

...Okay, I wasn't supposed to do it. Not qualified. But it was the fucking adrenaline. Makes people do stupid things.

[ss_buttcrack]

Well I hope she lived.

[halfspooky]

Heh, looks like my mun finally convinced you to join. Don't worry, the game is great. We don't bite.

[ss_buttcrack]

I've had people tell me that before. I use the term "people" loosely. Trust me some of them do bite...hard.

[halfspooky]

Yegh. So what's your story? Aliens, ghosts, monsters, giant robots? Not that you'd survive a bite from one of them. Come on, tell me something I haven't heard before.

[ss_buttcrack]

Oh you know...aliens. Wormholes in space, galactic wars of an epic proportion. I've got half a dozen species of alien nut-cases playing tug of war over sections of my brain.

I love how that icon works for every comment he's made so far

[halfspooky]

Sounds exciting. I've got a two-for-one nutcase deal back home - same guy wants to keep me and my mom forever and ever.

Re: I love how that icon works for every comment he's made so far

[ss_buttcrack]

I feel kinda like the victim of a blowout sale on nut-cases. All nut-cases must capture Crichton Alive. Sorry no returns. My ass is on the wanted list of more planets than there are rednecks in Florida. I literally can't walk into a bar without someone trying to turn me in for a reward.

Re: I love how that icon works for every comment he's made so far

[ss_buttcrack]

So what did you do to piss this guy off?

[hiddenbadass]

Isn't it always fun? [Ah, sarcasm.]

[ss_buttcrack]

I got an A in sarcasm class...but maybe my teacher was just being sarcastic.

[hiddenbadass]

Can't be sarcastic. Sounds like he forgot the gold star. Then it'd be sarcastic.

[ss_buttcrack]

You got me there. Who has time for school anyway with all those bad guys lurking around trying to pound a lesson into ya. I keep waiting for an Acme anvil to fall on me.

[driftlock]

Have a sick fraggin' view of 'fun'.

[ss_buttcrack]

I don't, but I know some people who do...they've had some "fun" with me too. What is you people do for real fun around here anyway? Play cards?

[driftlock]

[Ewww. Keep the TMI to yourself, human.]

Me? [Frag, do not even ask.] I live on a space station run by a crazy AI that's going to kill us all.

[Seething with hatred is Deadlock's favorite pastime.]

[ss_buttcrack]

Uh, trust me it isn't the kind of fun you're thinking of. It's more of the tortured until you literally develop a split personality kind of fun. I know a thing or two about crazy entities trying to kill me. He lives in my head. His name is Harvey.

[driftlock]

[Well, then, you'll fit right in around this place. we're all a little mad]

Like I said, weird ideas of 'fun'.

[Deadlock was right. The end.]