Homeless; canon is Gravity Falls

[mystery_s_hack]

What, you call this a voice test? Where's the pizazz? The razzle dazzle? The showmanship? You gonna pretend yer me, you gotta have a lot more spunk lady! Put yer back into it! We're never gonna draw in the suckers customers like this! Now hoist those shorts up and show 'em what yer made of!

Comments

[doncalamari]

Depending on the actual competency of your Mundane, that may or may not be the most effective method of encouragement.

[mystery_s_hack]

Hey, she took me on, she's gotta make it worth my time! I got more important things to do than mess around! There's money to make! And... money to... make. Yeah.

[doncalamari]

If you do happen to succeed in having her aid you in your business ventures, I advise first and foremost finding yourself some more fashionable headwear. Honestly, a fez? It's not the bloody 19th century anymore!

[mystery_s_hack]

Hey hey man, don't be dumping on the fez. It's a trademark! A trademark! I wouldn't be ol' Grunkle Stan at the Mystery Shack without a fez!

[doncalamari]

If you desire your "trademark" a wearable cancer on good taste. Why are all of you who parade around in those loathsomely gaudy things so damn insistent about them?!

[mystery_s_hack]

Look, you don't see ME ragging on your... your... thing with the... thing -- look, I just like it, okay? Quit bugging me!

[doncalamari]

My what with the--
... Is there something on my cravat?

[Suddenly, a bluish-green octopus-like tentacle extends from his back, and brushes his cravat much like a hand would... all rather nonchalantly]

[mystery_s_hack]

Yeeesh! You should get that looked into, buddy. It don't look too healthy.

okay can I just say you're amazing and I love you now

[doncalamari]

It is not a mutation nor is it unnatural! I'm an Elder God, you avaricious fashion victim!

I have no objections to this. :V

[mystery_s_hack]

*Looooooong stare.*

So... what, that some sorta sports team or something?

Stan is my favorite on GF and you're awesome at him asdfhghjl<3

[doncalamari]

Are you familiar with the works of a Mr. Howard Phillips Lovecraft?

Oh good, I'd be sad if I sucked.

[mystery_s_hack]

Heeeey, I love that guy! He wrote all those books! Man, the one about the psychic dog was freaking classic!

You're doing great so far! You considering apping him anywhere?

[doncalamari]

[Nice try, Stan. Maybe if you'd said psychic RABBIT...]

... And yet you're unfamiliar with the Eldritch?
Don't patronize me, his work was already inaccurate enough to my kind! I am an ancient and immortal deity of unfathomable power, I merely take this form to spare you an eternity of incurable madness and unspeakable living nightmares from gazing upon my true visage.

I'm actually planning on opening an RP myself in the future he'd work in.

[mystery_s_hack]

...

...

Huh. However you get your kicks, pal. Sheesh. And they say I spin yarns.

Oh sweet! What kind?

[doncalamari]

I'm mostly retired now, I have a grandson to look after. Or at least I would be if cultists and dark sorcerers would quit attempting to summon me!

Uh, quirky supernatural sorta jamjar comedy horror. With dungeon crawls. ...yeah.

[mystery_s_hack]

Dang kids. Always bugging ya during yer down time! I'm tellin' ya, no respect at all!

Aw man that sounds awesome. Link me once it's opened? Maybe I'll lurk~

[doncalamari]

[A slight groan] Finally you're making sense! I could absolutely not agree more. My family and I are banished and contrary to popular belief we actually wish to stay that way.

Still pretty far in the future methinks but sure. :|b

[mystery_s_hack]

I KNOW! You're sitting there, trying to watch TV, and suddenly it's all "Oh Grunkle Stan, I need help with this!" Or "Grunkle Stan, there's a bigfoot chewing on the flowers!" I ain't got a lotta time to myself to waste on stupid stuff, ya know!

Ahh I see. Even so, best of luck with it!

[doncalamari]

My children I have no grievances assisting. The selfish fools who I'm ashamed to call my followers, not so much.

Yay~

[littledipper]

Grunkle Stan? What're you doing here?

Yaaaay~

[mystery_s_hack]

Hey kid! Looks like yer ol' Grunkle Stan's getting some appreciation finally! All 'a you mooks, and she picks ME outta all of 'em! Ain't that swell?

Gravity Falls RPers unite!

[littledipper]

Yeah it's...certainly something I wasn't expecting.

Speaking of, have you seen Mabel anywhere?

Dang tootin'.

[mystery_s_hack]

Nah, can't say I have. You know her, she's probably off doing whatever it is she does. Sing to goats? Make girly artsy stuff? I dunno.

Let it be known!

[littledipper]

Being attacked by gnomes?

I kinda wish she isn't, there's something about all this I don't trust.

Re: Let it be known!

[mystery_s_hack]

Pfft. You worry too much kid. Need to get yer head outta all those horror books, that's all I'm sayin'.

[littledipper]

I think I have plenty of reasons to worry.

[mystery_s_hack]

Aw come on, you're what, twelve? You worry too darned much! You're gonna get gray hairs worrying that much! Take it easy a bit!

But not too easy. I need someone to sweep the Mystery Shack later.

[littledipper]

Believe me, I try to.

...Wait, I thought Soos already swept?