I can't believe I'm doing this

[uncleulty]

Gwahahahahaha! I knew ya couldn't resist for too long mun! Maybe ya only got two arms but I got plenty to spare so you don't have to worry too much about getting things done! Don't really like the sounds of this Tower your planning to lock me up in, sounds a bit too much like debtors prison if ya ask me and I've been working myself to the non-existent bone avoiding that mess!

But hey ya know I'm a guy with a lot of heart - got three of them after all - so let's give it a go. I mean sounds like part of this place has class and I'm not going anywhere fast sitting out there making matches for the Coliseum! Not a way any respectable royalty ought to be acting at least! So this could be my chance to be respectable-like!

'Sides. They got a few cute girls there, right? I'm sold!

Comments

[aria_di_celes]

...[There's a 4-ton weight with your name on it.]

Maybe you should stay at the Coliseum, for everyone's sake.

[checkoutthesedecks]

...fuck, I've seen too much anime to know where this is going.

[rainbowbrush]

Uncle Ulty~!

[lockpick]

[Did someone say "cute girls who need protecting." No? Close enough.]

Would you look what the cat dragged in! Haven't seen so much as a sucker from you in a while.

[He'd say it's nice to see you, buddy, but Locke's really not much of a liar.]

[uncleulty]

Hey hey hey! I might be a mollusk but I'm no clam! Those are some suckers right there. You gotta keep moving if you want to go anywhere that's just a fact.

Besides a desk job's no place for an octopus. Let alone one as handsome and talented as me!

[uncleulty]

Whoa now! You're getting the wrong idea there! I'm not that kinda tentacled freakshow! I'm a proper gentleman!

[uncleulty]

Well if it isn't the runt! C'mon now! Ya got a hug for your Uncle Ulty?

[Bleh. He's still on the fence with kids but it's better playing this way because then you get to the crying Relm and if there is anything more awkward than dealing with kids it is dealing with crying kids. He has no room for that mess.]

[checkoutthesedecks]

No, I'd say you were a freak show. And so would everyone else.

[uncleulty]

[Don't worry I'm sure most of the cute girls could beat Ultros to a bloody pulp. Or at least distract him with something shiny.]

Well ya can't blame me for being busy! Got important things to do! Much too important for ya to handle!

[Because doing clerk work at the Coliseum is far more than your whole saving the world thing Locke.]

[uncleulty]

Ooooh my blood's boiling now! Ya better watch yer mouth or Chupon'll be having lizard linguine for dinner!

[rainbowbrush]

[Oh she has one better. She runs to him and jumps, landing on his... head?... feet first. And then bounces.]

lmao that icon

[aria_di_celes]

An octopus belongs in the sea, where he can't bother other people. Or on the dinner table.

[Not behind a desk, at an opera, and certainly not in the sky.]

How does an octopus even accumulate that much debt?

[lockpick]

[It's the principle of the thing, really.]

Busy behaving yourself, I should hope. Or is that too much to ask of octopus royalty?

[The emphasis on the title is firmly sarcastic.]

[uncleulty]

[Criminy kid what is wrong with you? Why he has half a mind to just wrap one powerful tentacle around you and toss you away like you deserve! Don't you know he's royalty of the sea?

But still. The waterworks are just too much. So he'll just laugh trying to ignore the fact that you are bouncing perilously close to his face!]

Well look at you yer...just rip tearing everywhere aren't you?

You keeping safe and eating...whatever it is kids are supposed to eat? Crayons? You eat crayons or something right?

It is his very essence

[uncleulty]

Ya never heard of moving up in the world? I may have started in the sea but it's all dry land for me!

[Whether this is because he wants to be here or for some reason because he has to be he isn't saying.]

Hey hey! I don't get in your business like asking why you're so bad at singing! All you need to know is that there are a lot of inns I'm not welcome at for a long long time!

Oh you are fantastic. XD

[rainbowbrush]

[Yep. Still bouncing. At least now she's sitting, that's better... right?]

Why would I eat my crayons? Then I couldn't use them to draw. Don't you know anything?

[uncleulty]

Course I'm behaving myself! Got a good name to keep up ya know!

[Have you ever seen or heard an octopus try to sniff in indignation. Because you just did now Locke. How dare you suggest he might be misbehaving. What would even give you that idea?]

[lockpick]

[It looks a bit more like Ultros is trying to rid himself of something unpleasant that's stuck up his nose. If he had a nose. But the point gets across. Mostly.]

A good name? Could have fooled me. If you've ever had one, I don't think I've heard it!

Aw thank you! I'm pretty sure we've played before too! You were at Mayfield right?

[uncleulty]

[It's marginally better he guesses. At least it doesn't feel like you're going to beat his head into the ground.]

Course I know things! I know all kinds of things! I graduated from Aquatic Academy, the most prestigious university the ocean has even known with a B.A. in pottery.

Go on! Ask me something! Anything!

[uncleulty]

Well maybe you'd know it if you could manage to steal my wallet!

Cause you're a thief!

But not a very good thief!

[Yes. Thank you Ultros. That was amazing.]

[blockedlight]

[He just stares. Really? Ultros? How pathetic can you be?]

Go home.

Yes I did! :D

[rainbowbrush]

Okaaaaay. Hmmm...

[While she thinks, she kicks her legs out, back and forth. Sorry, Uncle Ulty.]

Where do babies come from?

[uncleulty]

[When it comes to Ultros there's no limit to how pathetic he can sink!]

Well if it isn't the dark brooding stranger! Sorry but I don't listen to strangers!

[Especially strangers who don't like him.]

[blockedlight]

It would be in your best interest to leave.

[Shadow just continues glaring. It's wise to listen to him okay.]

Hey! It's me, Wilhelm-mun!

[uncleulty]

[Oh for the love of. It wouldn't be so bad if they weren't so close to his eyes....]

What are ya, an ignoramanious?

Babies come from baby bottles! They get put in there when they're really little and then ya pour some milk in there and they grow out of it! Simple!

Why do you think they have that name?

[Ow his eye ow his eye ow his eye.]