Uh, rude.

[bullyingtendencies]

It was obvious last time you dragged me into your weird hobby that it was a bad idea. Stop before it’s too late so I can go back to pretending this type of thing doesn’t actually happen.

Do you even have a reason this time? I bet it’s something stupi--

...You’re getting a pet guinea pig? You should name it Stripe.

[ I’m not naming it that. Stripe is lame and overused. ]

Your face is lame and overused.

Comments

[sporty_pottymouth]

Yeah, he is. He really needs to get his fucking act together sometimes.

[That is an argument you will LOSE, Craig! Except not really because it is one that will not happen again. Ever. Stan's kind of surprised that he didn't freeze to death in that net shirt in retrospect.

Your shutter shades were really lame, though.]

Where's the fun in being boring?

[bullyingtendencies]

Now I can see where you get it.

[ His shutter shades were fucking bitching what are you on about. ]

Watching Red Racer. Going outside. Playing with Stripe. Not being kidnapped and sent to the middle of fucking nowhere Peru.

It's not that hard to do.

[sporty_pottymouth]

Fuck you, compared to him I'm as smooth as silk.

[Wow that didn't sound gay at all. Like those shutter shades, Craig. So homo. Stan bets you still wear them sometimes.]

How do you even play with a guinea pig? You can't play fetch with it or anything. [He does bite his tongue at the Peru thing because Craig already acted like a whiny bitch that whole time and he'd rather not deal with that again.]

YOU CAN ACTUALLY DO IT. IT'S ACTUALLY KIND OF REALLY CUTE /fangirling in place of Craig

[bullyingtendencies]

Are you also as pretty as a patch of petunias?

[ Craig can't believe how dumb you are Stan. ]

You can teach them tricks. [ He makes a very ambiguous circling motion with his finger. ] They'd fetch if they could.

[ He was allowed to be a whiny bitch. Official entitled whiny bitch card. ]

EEEK guinea pigs just running around are cute! I can't even imagine tricks!

[sporty_pottymouth]

No, but I look better than you. No one wears hats like that anymore, dude. [Except for Stan's mun who thinks they're cool but Stan isn't going to say that.] And I don't smell like food pellets. [Instead he smells like sweat, dirt, and sometimes wet dog.]

Really? That's kind of cool, I guess. Does Stripe know how to do a lot of stuff?

[Nowadays Stan can kind of relate because of that whole Facebook fiasco, but he doesn't consider those on the same level of using a whiny bitch at all.]

[bullyingtendencies]

Exactly, no gaylord will be wearing the same hat as me. And you probably smell like dorky nerd, however the fuck the smells.

[ Appropriately cautious over talking about Stripe with Stan Marsh. Seems suspiciously close to pleasant conversation to Craig. ]

Stripe knows a bunch of that stuff, yeah.

[sporty_pottymouth]

Dorky nerd? I think you forgot something important. I'm not Kyle. [He'll get punched by Kyle for saying that later, but hey it's NOT his fault that Kyle is so much nerdier than he is! Kyle LIKES studying. Seriously, who ENJOYS studying?]

So, what, you taught it how to backflip or something?

[bullyingtendencies]

You're similar enough. [ Both assholes in Craig's book. That and everyone else. But at least he found the rip on Kyle amusing enough to chuckle quietly. ]

Yeah, that and other cool things. It's pretty sweet.

[ In which Craig is probably grossly over-exaggerating. But the highest opinion this kid has of anyone is of Stripe so it's 150% okay to overexaggerate. ]

[sporty_pottymouth]

That's probably because we're best friends. [As if nobody knew that. Stan is kind of snickering at the rip on Kyle too, though.]

If we get home you should show me sometime. I'd show you tricks Sparky knows, but he's pretty lazy and only does them sometimes.

[Stan bets that Craig has only flipped Stripe off like once its whole life, and considering he and his family flick each other off like crazy that's a big deal in Stan's mind.]

[bullyingtendencies]

[ For a moment Craig stops to think about that. ]

Sure.

[ Then he ceases the thoughtful look and reverts back to the perma-bored expression. ]

...Are you also stuck in Wonderland?

[ Kyle didn't mention who else was there. With hindsight Craig probably should've thought to ask sometime before Kyle punched him. ]

[sporty_pottymouth]

[He shrugs.]

Yeah. I just got there not too long ago. It's pretty lame, but Kyle's pretty excited I'm there. Apparently he's been there for months. Kenny's there somewhere too, but I haven't run into him yet.

[He heard that he was living in a mountain of porn magazines he got out of the closets. There are bets on when he'll become an official troll that lives in Porn Cave.]

[bullyingtendencies]

The poor kid is there. [ Oh fuc- ] No Cartman?

[ Not his first choice of people to be sent to a place to with but whatever. ]

Is it true there's no parents or teachers?

[ Kyle better not have been lying. As it is Craig will be checking his closet regularly for the porn magazine monster. ]

[sporty_pottymouth]

No, Cartman's not there. Kyle hopes he never shows up, either.

There's no teachers or class, but there are talking ponies. [Be careful, Craig! The closet might think you WANT a porn magazine monster and try to give you one or something.] Kyle said something about talking flowers too, but I haven't ran into any of those.

Late response I'm sorry. APP IS DONE. /posts that shit

[bullyingtendencies]

There are talking ponies there and talking flowers.

[ W... what. Not even repeating it back to Stan helps Craig come to terms with it. ]

Fuck. If the floorboards start talking too I'm quitting.

[ Rage quit life. Screw all the work his mun put into making the application. ]

Not a problem! AAAAAH I am excited! :D

[sporty_pottymouth]

Yeah, I think the flowers are gone now though.

[It's okay, Craig. Stan doesn't really understand the flowers and ponies either, but he's seen stranger things. Like giant guinea pigs and Craig with laserbeams for eyes. Also talking poop.]

Dude, I think I'd draw the line at talking floors. That would just be fucking crazy...but the building is alive, apparently. Just doesn't talk.

[bullyingtendencies]

Well that's really reassuring.

[ It's really not tho. ]

Anything else I should know before my asshole mun drops me off there with you jerks?

[sporty_pottymouth]

Kyle said he got turned into a girl once.

[That seems like a big thing to mention.]

I really require more happy looking Craig icons.

[bullyingtendencies]

[ Yes. Yes he's really glad you mentioned that. Craig snorts. ]

They should've kept him like that. Maybe then his PMS would actually make sense.

I have some fanart I can send you sometime! Can't guarantee anything TOO happy though.

[sporty_pottymouth]

[What's that? Stan's laughing a bit himself still. He couldn't help but laugh at Kyle when he found out.]

Hahaha, yeah. He's had a lot of bullshit happen to him there. Like one time he had to take care of the squid baby from that Men In Black movie. [A pause and a snerk.] ...But the girl totally takes the cake. I hope that event doesn't pop up again. I don't wanna be a girl.

I'm sure Craig acting overly happy would make a lot of people uncomfortable. Including him.

[bullyingtendencies]

...I'm going to guess that the same thing doesn't happen twice there.

[ At least Craig hopes so. ]

Being a girl would be sooo weak.

[ Worse than being metrosexual or something. Girls have cooties. ]

that means that CLEARLY there should somehow be an event that forces one to be happy. overly so.

[sporty_pottymouth]

I think if something happens more than once it's after a really long time. Kyle said he was only a girl once, so that probably doesn't happen a lot.

[Eeeeeew cooties. Nobody wants that! Even though all of them think anyone who hasn't had their first kiss is a total loser.]

I'd be a really butch girl. I don't even want to think about what you'd look like.

I think Craig doth protest to my enthusiasm for that. Whole new meaning to "SOOOOOOO HAPPY~*`*~**!!"

[bullyingtendencies]

Dude, no one likes the butch girls.

[ Takes a moment for Craig to think up a girl version of himself. Although if asked he'll insist he totally didn't even consider it. ]

I'd be the same but with tits.

[ No way he'd be girly. NOPE. ]

hahaha YES. I think SO happy is the happiest we've ever seen him. so obviously we have to fix that.

[sporty_pottymouth]

I just really don't think I'd be a cute girl. I'd still play a bunch of sports and stuff.

[He'd be a totally cool girl, though. Even if he really hopes it never happens. That'd be weird even for HIM.]

Hahaha, like you'd even have boobs! [Stan would probably be cursed if the 6th graders' attraction to his mom's breasts are any clue. He looks thoughtful.]

You'd totally act the same way, dude. You're right about that. [Craig not acting like Craig? That's just impossible not to imagine. ...He'd actually be a pretty awesome girl.]

(ooc: congrats on getting into eway!!! We're so excited to have you :D)

[bullyingtendencies]

Better that then spending all your time looking at shoes.

[ Or whatever the fuck girls do. Something weird probaly. Just don't start thinking about Craig's imaginary girl parts. Or else you're a horrible person. ]

Maybe not. But Bebe has boobs.

(ooc: excited to be there skegksj. I'll probably intro post later today.)

[sporty_pottymouth]

I don't get why girls are so obsessed with shoes. Like when all the girls voted Kyle ugliest in class so that they could date Clyde for shoes? Being a boy is way cooler.

[Boys don't have cooties.]

(ooc: eeee I look forward to it! Stan will be pretty surprised. Peacock will just be like 'oh you must know Kyle you're wearing some dumb hat too.)