Kronk survives assassination attempt(!)

[squeak_squeaker]

Yeah. I was shocked too! I just offered the guy some of my signature spinach puffs and he shot me! Over at that LiveJournal journal place. I always thought that was such a friendly bunch... guess I was wrong.

Now I've got a tummy ache and some bandages and stuff, but I'm not dead yet! That's good, right? [Big smile.] Dead people can't make spinach puffs... or pie. Or even decorate some cupcakes. I still dunno what the guy shot me with. Some kind of silver stick, I think! [Slow blink.] I wonder if his mama knows that he goes around shooting people.

Comments

[heart_of_hush]

[shoots Kronk again to finish the job]

[squeak_squeaker]

Woah. You're everywhere!

[heart_of_hush]

Stay dead, damn you.

[smothers Kronk with a pillow]

Threadjack.

[roundpinkpuff]

HEY! Leave my friend alone!

[heart_of_hush]

[shoots Kirky too]

I have no use for white knights. Not even pink ones.

[kicks Kirky's perforated corpse into the gutter]

1/2

[roundpinkpuff]

[Sorry, godmod-attempting jerk, but Kirby's not dead. The bullet only took away a bit of his vitality.]
Wah!

2/2

[roundpinkpuff]

[Jumps out of the gutter and attempts to suck you up.]

[heart_of_hush]

[already walking away, because Kirby's dead and his disturbing vore fantasy exists only in his dying mind.]

[Or what passes for a mind.]

[laughingalltheway]

Well that's awfully dry of him. Even for a guy like me that's just cold. Where's the fun in that? My my, you'd think he hadn't savored a good laugh in some time, hm? Bullets are too quick; nothing funny about dying fast.

[ He pauses, trailing away from his increasingly morbid thoughts. There was something that Kronk had said; something that caught his eye. Horrid and chaotic as he was, there was a certain appreciation in him for foods. He'd raided more than his fair share of dinner parties for laughs and couldn't deny the tasty allure of the snacks. ]

Spinach puffs, hmm? Do go on.

[squeak_squeaker]

[It took Kronk at least ten minutes to notice that this guy was wearing some kind of make-up on his face. It looked kind of like Yzma if she woke up in the morning after forgetting to take last night's make-up off! But he could tell it wasn't Yzma, because nothing else about him was Yzma-y. After coming to that conclusion, he just smiled at him.] I dunno why he hated my puffs that much, to tell you the truth. They're good puffs!

[He produced a plate of freshly baked spinach puffs for the strange guy. Because... baking didn't stop just because you got an owwie. It actually made him feel a little better!] Promise you won't shoot me or tickle me to death, buddy?

[laughingalltheway]

[ Tickle you to d-- That was funny. That earned a long laugh from him, a hearty bout of humor that he just couldn't hold in. He might even go so far as to agree with that request. Kronk was already showing signs of being funnier alive than dead. ]

Hah. Hee hee... Well, well well; you know, I don't think I have that in me, hmm? Now--

[ He promptly obtained a spinach puff, gorging himself with its freshly baked deliciousness. It was actually really tasty. ]

--Mm. Do go on, hmm? Do tell about this mystery shooter fellow, won't you? I do love a good tale of, ah, survival? Triumph? Mmm. Tell the story however you'd like, won't you? Be a good host, be of good cheer.

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk, who for all his naivety had a lot of experience with creepy people if only because he worked for the creepiest one of them all, could tell that this guy probably WOULD tickle someone to death. And he was kinda ticklish, so it was important to make sure that wasn't going to be a problem!]

Oh... great! And...uhh. Seems like you're enjoying that puff too, right? [He smiled, before frowning and lifting his shirt a little to show the bandages.] He shot a thing into my tummy... and it hurt a whole lot! I started crying and then I went home and I was still crying and then Yzma send me to the doctor... that was real nice of her.

And now I just have lots of owwies. [Owwies! That was... Kronk for 'horrific injury', apparently.]

[laughingalltheway]

[ Enjoying the puff? Good lord, man, that puff is gone. What with the fact that he hadn't eaten in some time and the fact that the puff was freshly baked, the Joker hadn't wasted any time in consuming it and going for another. Food was food; tasty was an added benefit. ]

Oh dear oh my. That looks like quite the wound, hmm? Tell me, tell me, did that fellow use something that looked a little like this?

[ With a puff in one hand and, as he pulled it forth from his coat, a pistol in the other, the Joker waggled the firearm in the air. Thankfully he wasn't pointing it at either Kronk or himself, but the gun was still there. ]

See, these things do that, oh yes. They can be so useful in a good hand, even funny. But they're so very, very final. Much like these puffs, see?

[ And he consumes the last of the second puff. ]

Gone. All too fast, see? That's not fun at all. Not. One. Bit.

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk was very happy with him eating the puff with so much enjoyment! Made his day all better again, really.] You get to have all of them, if you want! Hah... puffs are not only delicious but they're healthy for your health too.

[He'd never say it, but Kronk thought that this friendly gentleman looked kind of unhealthy. Now, he knew that not EVERYONE could be all... Kronk. But being that pale and stuff couldn't been good for you! His eyes grew big when he saw the gun.]

Yeah, it looked just like that! But...uh. But a little bigger. And little shiny things came out of it.

Those hurt. [Slow nodding. That one tiny thing hurt more than falling down the stairs and hitting your head on the ceiling combined!]

[joe_gibken]

That's pretty bad. I'm sorry that happened to you. It sounds like you're pretty resilient, though. Speedy recovery to you.

[squeak_squeaker]

Oh...uhh. Thanks, pal! It's okay.

It looks like it took a chunk out of my waist, but it was always that small. [~Genetically blessed~] Doctor said it's just a little bullet. [Blink.]

...what's a bullet?

[joe_gibken]

A bullet is a projectile shot out of a weapon, like a gun. I have a pistol, but I never shoot at innocent people, only bad guys.

Your mun may want to invoke the blocking option, since the guy seems intent on hurting you.

[squeak_squeaker]

[Kronk stared at him with big eyes. Back home, they just had spheres and arrows and stuff!] I wasn't being bad to him... I don't think offering some puffs is bad.

Oh yeah, thanks for reminding her of that!

[joe_gibken]

Your puffs sound good, actually.

1/2

[roundpinkpuff]

What?!
Someone tried to hurt you?!

2/2

[roundpinkpuff]

That's not very nice!!!
[WHERE IS HE?! LET KIRBY AT 'EM!!!]

Re: 2/2

[squeak_squeaker]

Oh yeah, it was...uh. It was very shocking!

I thought everyone liked me. And not just because I'm handsome. I though I was a friend to everyone! Even the baby chipmunks. And people. [Sniff.]

Re: 2/2

[yayoi_shioiri]

Anybody who has seen you here likes you, Kronk. You really helped me a lot! This whole thing makes me mad. >:(

Re: 2/2

[marui_bunta]

Same here! Kronk, you've got a lot of friends.

[squeak_squeaker]

Ohh... that really makes me happy! I liked helping you, little guy.

[Kronk lifted his shirt a bit to show his bandage. It did hurt a lot!]

Do you think it'll get better?