update

[sentient]

Why does it have to be so complicated to get one dude to kiss another dude?
I think he knows what the problem was just as well as I do, though I don't see how it could get more special than mackin' in front of an exploding volcano, which, by the way, was hella phallic and totally inappropriately indicative.
Lava squirting everywhere, shuddering out the depths of that rock hard mesa.
Let's do it again sometime, Jake.

Comments

[cyanbeast]

What exactly happened?!

[help her out here glasses she's really lost.]

[scrumsandwhatnot]

Jesus friggin christ.

[sentient]

We synced up. DS kissed, like, all the babes.
It was rad.

[sentient]

I want another smooch.

[cyanbeast]

Yes I saw Jake kissing Dirk's decapitated head with my own eyes, thank you very much.
But I still don't understand how so much happened in such a short time.
Dirk couldn't have possibly planned THAT far in advance in an emergency situation!
...Could he?

[Because when she thinks about it, it is Dirk they're talking about.]

[scrumsandwhatnot]

I dont flippin think so!!
I still have no idea what the fuck is going on TO BE QUITE HONEST.

[sentient]

Doesn't matter if he did or not because it worked out perfectly.
If I tell you he did, you'd probably be even more freaked out about such huge foresight re: cutting his own head off and timing when and where to necro you and Roxy, and if I tell you he didn't plan any of it you'd freak out 'cause you'd wonder what would have happened if none of it worked out.
But it worked out, so we're basically fine for now, aside from standing under a volcano.

[sentient]

Don't be a tease.
Kiss me, Jake.
You did it before, Jake.
Jake, just lean in and kiss me.
Then I'll explain everything.

[testifies]

You have to admit.
We were really ahead of our game here.

[cyanbeast]

...
Fudge, you're right. Either way I'm still going to be lost and confused and not understanding how all of this happened.
So I guess I'll just be happy that we aren't dead and all of us are together for the first time!
I was excited to meet everyone, so I got my wish.
Even if it is under incredibly strange and bizarre circumstances that still are hard to wrap my noggin around.
I don't think Jake is ever going to recover from being forced to kiss Dirk's head like that, but he did look...er...like an action hero?

[sentient]

I don't recall factoring Freudian Mountain into the thing, but it worked out well.

[sentient]

Don't worry about Jake. He totally liked it. You can tell by the way he caressed my neck stump.
Sorry you had to see it, though. But it was necessary.

[ladyslayer]

HA HA HA HA HA.
SORRY IM KIND OF BUSY KISSING HEADS THAT ARE ALIVE.
Which is actually a lie because i dont make a point of kissing innocent decapitated heads no matter whose visage they are!!
That was a one time deal bucko if everyone i knew didnt happen to be hightailing it to corpseville i wouldnt have put my mouth anywhere near any dead orifices belonging to anyone.

[scrumsandwhatnot]

Quit trying to fuck with me AR!!
Look i am all for saving my friends and ill admit that im usually the first one in the room to admire a good skull!
But this fudging corpse-kissing thing isnt something that i exactly want to make a habit!
Why the fuck couldnt one of them have done it???

[testifies]

Sometimes these things just happen. Don't kick a horse in the mouth when opportunity comes knocking.

"Lil Hal"?

[sentient]

For a dude so deep in denial, you sure were enthusiastic about the kiss once you actually did it.
Your jacket was even fluttering in the breeze.
You had one foot up on the rock.
You looked like an action hero, and you basically owe that to me.
You should be thanking me, Jake.
Now kiss me again.

[cyanbeast]

Urgh please don't talk about the aforementioned head like that.
I feel like I've had enough adventure for one day, but we've barely begun to play.
Getting stabbed, getting killed, having to ride on a flying hoverboard while barely holding on to Roxy.
It's only going to get even more wild after this, isn't it?

[She just wanted to play a fun game with you guys, this isn't what she signed up for.]

[sentient]

Maybe if you took that nasthideous helmet off for one second I could get something through your thick skull.
You had to do it because you had to do it. That's why. I know this may seem like an unsatisfactory explanation, but no other one fits. That was simply your role in this sequence of events, all of which had to fall into place at a temporal precision so exact it's like DS and I were doin' heart surgery on that shit.
Now kiss me.

[scrumsandwhatnot]

I AM NOT KISSING YOU!!!
YOU DONT EVEN HAVE ANY STUPID ROBO-LIPS TO KISS!!
ARGH.

[niaev]

bow chika wow wow ;3
did u even see all that sick rocketsnugglin action i got in on???
i got 2 touch ur BOOTAY

[sentient]

Yeah. You don't like it?
It's just one of many options for me. I've also considered "D2-S2" and "CHaDOS". Or maybe "BRaDOS"?
Then you could call me Chad or Brad, both of which are names for cool bros like ourselves.

[hearticulate]

Nobody grasped the dick reference.
Thanks for pointing it out. Such an observation was, to be honest, a quintessential cog in this convoluted maze of gears serving as the metaphor for our current situations.

[sentient]

Yeah. This is just the beginning.
But I think you'll be fine, Jane. We're going to have a lot of fun.
And this is probably the end of the corpsesmooching, though I can't really make any guarantees. We've kind of already used up our extra lives.

[sentient]

Discrimination, you blundering vacuous asshole.
I don't have to have lips for you to kiss me.
Kiss me, Jake.

[sentient]

Yeah. I'm sure that were I able to feel it, I'd be blushin' right now.