someone's mun found like 60 more icons and they are terrible

[therealgenius]

[Justin what are your faces even why are you alive.]

Take them down.

Comments

[therealgenius]

But it's not a no. It's a sometimes, because that's how it is. It's a big sometimes, it's like, it's like...you know, oh no, don't let the Russian agent kick me in the face! and then that doesn't happen! See? Sometimes.

[except then loki kicks you in the face justin don't give out half-truths]

[debrief]

It might as well be. I doubt it's your orders convincing your mun.

[therealgenius]

You're pretty rude for a dead guy. Shouldn't you be chilling in Valhalla with a bunch of ladies giving you booze and letting their tits hang in your face?

[jfc hammer]

[debrief]

[ Deadpan: ] That was the original plan.

[therealgenius]

[He's not being sick, okay, that giant horse nightmare is up here with him. His life is truly, truly pathetic.]

So...why are you.

Here.

[debrief]

Because my mun doesn't believe in my death.

[ A beat. ]

And because Dr McCoy and Rapunzel healed me before I died.

1/2

[therealgenius]

[RAPUNZEL?]

[therealgenius]

[He should probably put up a front about it all, but Justin lives with Loki, so believing in super powered Disney Princesses isn't that far of a stretch. In fact, it's a bit easier to understand than...]

Wait. Like. Bones McCoy?

[debrief]

Yes, Mr Hammer. That's the one.

[therealgenius]

[GURL YOU HAVE TO GIVE HIM DESE DEETS OMG]

I know you were a Cap fan—me too, BTW, here, look, you might want this— [YES JUST SO GENEROUSLY HANDING OVER A CAPTAIN AMERICA AUTOGRAPH take it buddy he's been collecting them!!!] but you watched Star Trek, right? You...you know you're dealing with greatness, yeah?

[debrief]

[ He has reservations. About your character. BUT A CAPTAN AMERICA AUTOGRAPH.

okay, okay, fine. Snatching that up, kthx. Cap never got around to signing his cards, after all :( ] Yeah. I know.

[therealgenius]

[GOOD because Justin has one that Cap signed to him, so he can have the plain autograph. They should bro out about Captain America, okay, Justin loves that man about as much as he loves Howard Stark and AMERICA!]

I'm kind of jealous.

[debrief]

[ Phil got invited to Cap's birthday party. And he's met Howard Stark. And McCoy. ARE YOU JEALOUS YET

oh good you are ] That's petty.

[therealgenius]

[NOT FAIR NOT FAIR

oh yeah well. well. SHUT UP PHIL]

Sorry to say, minor villains in the world of Iron Man are, apparently, meant to be petty. But you know, Tony and I? We're a lot alike.

The only difference is that when I make mistakes, they don't involve needing a paternity test because I forgot a condom with some random booze-addled whore. It's more like...saving men from death with the help of a corrupted senator who gets off the hook free.

Technically, we're...pretty much the same. I'm just easier to hate because I'm more human.

[debrief]

[ IT IS TOO

and he's not shutting up

in fact, he didn't say anything, okay. don't be silly. he's composed and cool and calm. not a fanboy. not ever. nope. ]

You are a lot alike, except for the bit where he turned around and became a hero. — of sorts. [ because Stark is annoying, but so are you. ]

[therealgenius]

[He and Tony are more alike than him and Vanko. He was just saying those things to appease him, you know. Get his stuff made, and that...yeah it didn't work out so well.]

Heh. Yeah. Tony Stark, hero. I wonder how many widows and orphans he's made in the Middle East and yet still, hell, he's a hero!

[debrief]

People can change. [ You might want to try it, Hammer. ]

[therealgenius]

[lolno]

Don't, don't...don't start. They—people, whoever—say that all the time, but they, they, they don't believe it. At all.

[debrief]

[ just this face. aka he is disappoint ]

[therealgenius]

[STOP]

What? Did you know Tony Stark before you got into SHIELD, outside of papers? Did you have to suffer his bullshit at dinners and terrible parties and think to yourself the entire time, this is Howard Stark's son? This is the guy who's beating me without even trying? The guy who's stumbling around without that redheaded assistant of his to keep him in check?

[debrief]

[ no.

gently: ] You might want to work on your envy issues, Mr Hammer.

[therealgenius]

[Coulson do you want him to slap you like he just slapped Rhodey?]

Holy shit! Therapy in prison thanks to SHIELD, doctors couldn't come up with envy issues! Jesus Christ, it's like you're Sigmund Freud himself! Where, why, where, why aren't you doing psychology for a living? God, you're good. You're amazing.

[debrief]

[ He'd tase you before you could get close enough to slap you.

Perfectly deadpan: ] Thank you.

[therealgenius]

[. . .]

I didn't know the government hired the mentally deficient.

[debrief]

They don't.