Looking for a Game

[jpegartifacts]

Shit, you just made this account, and already you're ready to go somewhere with it.
Moving up in the world at a fast pace, girl.
So long as you actually go through with it, I don't think I'll have much of a problem.
The younger me in your head seems to be doing just fine, after all.
Oh, before I forget.
Please direct your attention away from the list of rhyming phrases that generally mean "Use a goddamn condom, you stupid fuck."
You get terrible ideas when you look at shit like that, and I'm sure it'd rot your brain.
And by terrible, I mean fucking great, keep it up.

Comments

[hamburellakind]

dave!
you got old!

[jpegartifacts]

Crockbert.
You got young.

[hamburellakind]

that's...a stretch for a nickname!
like, crock of shit?
is that what you're getting at?
geez dave, you've done better than that after not sleeping for two days!
and i think you'll find i was always this old, dumbass!

[jpegartifacts]

You're Crocker where I'm from, but Egbert in younger me's time. Therefore, Crockbert, now fucking deal with it.
And no.
Last I saw, you were dead in your dad's living room. Stuffed like some guy had hunted you and then decided to go to a taxidermist to show you off.

[hamburellakind]

...
that's seriously creepy!
why would they do that to me?!
what kind of guy was i in your universe?

[jpegartifacts]

From what I gathered, you were the one who told them to do it in your will.
Guess whether you meant it or not is a moot point, now.
You were a comedian, an old, famous one.

[hamburellakind]

whoa.
...then it must've been funny!
i'm just not old enough to get it or something, i bet.
wow, anyway!
you're old right now, what's that like?

[jpegartifacts]

Pretty shitty considering your joints start aching.
I should see about you kiddies carrying around my shit to help out the senior citizen over here.
It sucks being more fragile than glass.

[hamburellakind]

hehehehe.
i promise i'll put up warning signs whenever i mop so you don't slip and break a hip!
that'd just be downright unfortunate.

[jpegartifacts]

Good thing my life insurance has been paid, and I've got healthcare that surprisingly isn't as shitty as it can be.
Guess I'll have to invest in life alert if you're going to be mopping anywhere.

[hamburellakind]

hehehehe.
so um.
did you know me before i...died?
i mean.
i guess i was an old man, if you did.

[jpegartifacts]

Not particularly well.
I was a teen when he died.

[hamburellakind]

oh.
that sucks...

[John isn't sure if he should bring up his relationship with his version of Dave.]

did you like him?

[jpegartifacts]

I think I would've.
Kinda funny in an unironically dorky way.

[hamburellakind]

okay.
good.
that sounds like something my dave would say.

[jpegartifacts]

Should fucking hope so, since I basically am him.

[hamburellakind]

well yeah!
but you have to wonder how different we all are!
i mean, growing up in different eras and all...
oh man, i could've seen ghostbusters in the theatre!

[jpegartifacts]

Somehow, I'm not surprised.
He probably did and saw the sequel while he was at it.

[hamburellakind]

oh my god.
clearly i was born in the wrong era!

[nukeoleptic]

holy shit
this is weird :o

[jpegartifacts]

If you think this is weird, I'd hate to see what the fuck normal is for you.

[nukeoleptic]

normal is not dave being taller and older than me!!! D:
or from a different universe
i guess that is probably the biggest difference huh >_>

[jpegartifacts]

Haha fuck you.
I think you were taller than me when you were in your prime.
Sort of shrank when you became a senior citizen, and that makes me feel only marginally better.
And, yeah, I'd think the whole different universe thing would be a major difference.
Whatever, I can roll with it.

[nukeoleptic]

lmfao noooo fuck you first!!! ruuuude
and ahhh i cant believe how weird things are in that universe
i bet i was the best old lady
just seriously the most awesome one ever :O
but do you really think this is something you can just roll with?
it seems it would make life...... complicated ._.