Well, we all saw this coming.

[hates_hippies]

MUNDANE! It has been quite a long time since last spoke, but I am glad that you picked such a FINE day to do so. America's own birthday, best damn day on the calender! We certainly showed those pansy Redcoats who the boss is! Yessir, I am PROUD to be a citizen of this fine country and I feel sorry for anyone who isn't. But you already know how great America is, you live here! As such, I'm going to skip to my point.

It's about DAMN time you got off the computer and did something, son. It's not Independence Day without family and a grill! Everyone knows each of those colonists ate 3 square meals a day consisting of ribs, burgers, and hot dogs. So many people know it they don't even bother writing in the history books anymore!

Anyway, you've done me proud, son. BUT IT'S NOT OVER YET! I don't care what time it is, you get your ass out there and WATCH THOSE FIREWORKS! They are a symbol of the spirit of AMERICA!

That is all, DISMISSED.

Comments

Sure did see this coming.

[hasstandards]

And here I was thinkin' we might make it the entire day without hearin' one of those speeches you usually give around this time of year.

I had to.

[hates_hippies]

Negatory, Mr. Sniper! It is my job to remind each and everyone of my teammates the importance of this holiday. And you can be DAMN sure I will do said job!

[hasstandards]

You reminded us last year. And the year before that. Isn't that good enough?

[hates_hippies]

I think you know the answer to that, Mr. Sniper, but I am going to give it to you anyway.

IT'S NO!

[hasstandards]

[Groan. Why did he think talking to Soldier was a good idea?]

Fine. I heard you. And you can stop with the 'mister business.' It makes me feel old.

[hates_hippies]

Very well then, Sniper. How was your 4th of July? Try and do something American for a change?

[hasstandards]

No. S'just another day for me.

[hates_hippies]

But you've lived in America for HOW LONG and you've never once even tried something? I bet you've never even had apple pie!

[hasstandards]

I've had an apple pie before. It's not like I don't get out, you know.

[hates_hippies]

Well, there just may be hope for you yet.

[And he pats Sniper hard on the back.]

Come on, I'll show ya what a REAL 4th of July is like! All the food you can eat.

[hasstandards]

[That pat on the back nearly knocks him off his feet. Ow.]

No thanks, mate. I think I'll leave the ribs to you.

[Also, the idea of hanging out with you anywhere is mildly terrifying.]

Sniper, it's cute how you think you can get out of this.

[hates_hippies]

I won't take "no" for an answer, friend! Come on, it'll be fun. Ribs, burgers, and maybe I'll even whip out the steak. After that, I can show ya the fire works.

He always thinks he can get out of it. He has yet to succeed.

[hasstandards]

[There is an oddly somber look that crosses his face at that last word, but he pushes it back almost as soon as it appears.]

Hn. Fine. I suppose one burger won't kill me.

[not_onyourside]

I do not zhink zhe founding fazzers ate hot dogs.

It won't be that bad, Snipes. Who knows, maybe you'll have fun.

[hates_hippies]

Great! You want me to drive you in my jeep, or would you rather drive?

[Yes, Solly drives. And not half bad, either.]

Have I told you recently how much I love you? XDDD

[hates_hippies]

Of course they did, Spy! What else would they eat, fish and chips?

That's what everyone says. Someone needs to rewrite the definition of fun, apparently.

[hasstandards]

[Have a completely unsure look. On one hand, he doesn't want Soldier anywhere near his camper; on the other, if Soldier's driving is anything like the skills he uses to get across the battlefield in ten seconds flat, it might be safer if Sniper takes the wheel. He doesn't want to find out how rocket-jumping translates into driving.]

I'll drive.

[Heading for the camper now, wondering how bad of an idea this is.]

BUT THIS TIME WE MEAN IT

[hates_hippies]

Alright! Just give me a sec, gotta grab some equipment out of my jeep.

[And so, he leaves, then comes back with a cooler, a portable grill, and backpack on his...back. Shocking.]

All set! Where do you want it?

N'aww. <3. Spy is only concerned about the accuracy of food. XD

[not_onyourside]

How would zhey make hot dogs een zhe 1700's? Zhere weren't any cows een America you realize.

THIS TIME IT'S FOR REAL

[hasstandards]

In the back.

[He heads around the back of camper and opens the door, stepping in and pushing aside a few things to make room. He shoves a crate toward the back, rolling up the shag rug that's been stretched across the floor and tossing it onto the table. It hits a flower vase that's sitting there, which doesn't move an inch despite the impact. It's apparently glued down.]

Just put that stuff where it'll fit.

<3 Soldier is just concerned about AMERICA

[hates_hippies]

That's easy, obviously they beat the tar out of the English and took theirs!

[It's best not arguing with him Spy, he'll make your brain hurt.]

[not_onyourside]

Zhey brought English cows wez zhem. Across zhe ocean. Een zhe 1700's.


On a boat.

WE ARE GOING TO HAVE FUN OR DIE TRYING

[hates_hippies]

Can do!

And he sets the cooler and the grill down first, moving them around a bit before placing the backpack on top. It's pretty damn heavy, so Soldier doubts any of the stuff will move.

After that, he takes his seat, shotgun of course. Geddit, because he uses a shotgun. He'll put his seat belt on and then turn to Sniper.]

Alright, any park should be fine. I got everything we need in back.

[hates_hippies]

YES! See, it makes perfect sense!

[No it doesn't.]

IT IS A PROMISE

[hasstandards]

[He slides into the driver's seat, not bothering with his seat belt.]

You say that like I know where any parks are.