over reacting to dumb kid shenanigans

[crab]

HEY "MUNDANE". 
YES, YOU. 
THE MENTALLY HANDICAPPED SACK OF PINKFLESH IN THE GLASSES. STOP REVELING IN THE REFUSE OF YOUR OWN RETARDATION FOR TEN SECONDS AND DIRECT YOUR ATTENTION TOWARD THE ANGRY GREY CAPSLOCK.
I THINK WE'RE OVERDUE FOR A WORD.
AND BY THINK I MEAN SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND LISTEN.
HOW ARE YOU? GOOD? GREAT! GLAD TO HEAR IT.
HOW AM I?
FUCKING
HIDEOUS.
I KEPT QUIET WHEN YOU SENT ME OFF TO MY UNTIMELY, GRUESOME DEATH.
I HELD MY TASTE APPENDAGE WHEN YOU PUT ME THROUGH THE HEINOUS ANGUISH THRESHER THAT WAS PROM.
ENDURED THE OBSCENE PLEASURE YOU APPEAR TO DERIVE FROM MY HUMILIATION.
I'VE EVEN WEATHERED THE NEVER ENDING QUADRANT DRAMA LIKE A CHAMPION.
BUT THIS? WHAT YOU'RE PLANNING NOW?
THIS IS CROSSING THE FUCKING LINE.
THIS IS SO FAR OVER THE LINE THAT YOU DID A LOOP OF THE PLANET AND CROSSED IT AGAIN.
THERE ARE SOME THINGS YOU JUST DON'T *DO* TO A GUY, OK.
AND YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT ANYWAY.
CONSIDER THIS A PREEMPTIVE FUCK YOU, MUNDANE
FUCK YOU EXPLICITLY 
IN EVERY ORIFICE 
WITH SOMETHING ROUGH AND SERRATED. 
FUCK YOU HARDER THAN YOU FUCK MY DIGNITY EVERY DAY.
AND YES, IT IS, IN FACT, A BIG DEAL.
IT IS A HUGE DEAL.
IT'S A HUGER DEAL THAN DAVE STRIDER WOULD LOVE TO THINK HE IS.
THAT IS THE SCALE OF THE DEAL WE ARE TALKING ABOUT HERE.
I WILL NOT "LIVE", I WILL NOT "GET OVER IT", THE ONLY THING I'M GOING TO DO IS ACCUMULATE SO MUCH ANGER THAT MY MISERABLE HIDE WILL SPLIT AND THE RUSH OF UNADULTERATED FURY MAGMA THAT POURS FORTH WILL BURN SO HOT AND FORCEFUL THAT IT WILL INCINERATE THE FOURTH WALL AND MELT YOUR DISGUSTING FACE OFF.