Canon is Suburban Shootout

[bill_hazeldine]

Um... hello? Excuse me, but um.... I'm going to be starting University in about 2 weeks, and I really need to go get my books, so if you could please just return me to Little Stempington I would really appreciate it. Not that I'm not grateful to be away from Jewel, really I do appreciate that, but I don't really have the time for this now... Do you mind? Hello?

Comments

[bornofthis]

Oh, I'm afraid you're not going to be returning any time soon.

[bill_hazeldine]

Excuse me? Do you know your way around here? I'm afraid I'm rather lost... [trying very hard to ignore what he took as being a rather threatening remark]

[bornofthis]

Oh, I do. But, don't you know where you are? Where you have...landed?

[bill_hazeldine]

I'm afraid I don't. Last thing I remember was falling asleep in my bed, when I woke up I was... here. Wherever that is. Please, can't you help me? ...and what did you mean by "you're not going to be returning any time soon"? What's going on?

[bornofthis]

Didn't anyone tell you? Well...I guess someone must tell you.

[ He puts on his best act of sympathy, putting his hand on Bill's shoulder. ]

I'm afraid that when you were asleep...you died.

[bill_hazeldine]

I...WHAT? [blue eyes fill with tears, lower lip quivering] But... but I don't... where is... I don't.... No!

[bornofthis]

[ He leans in closer, his voice dropping nearly to a whisper. ]

And I'm afraid... You did not end up where you had hoped you would.

[bill_hazeldine]

No!! Oh God in Heaven... [drops to his knees, sobbing, muttering prayers in Latin between the tears]

[bornofthis]

[ He recoils, as though in pain, letting out a faint hiss. ]

Stop that! It won't do you any good here!

[bill_hazeldine]

[Sniffles, tears still streaming down his face] I'm sorry... I guess you're probably right... it's a little late for that, now. But what did I do wrong? How... how did.... [starts crying again, trembling and terrified]

[bornofthis]

[ Red flares in his pupils as he pokes around inside Bill's head. Oh, there were some goodies in there! ]

Is there nothing you can think of? No...deed which may have skewed your destination, even slightly?

[bill_hazeldine]

Not that I can think ... no... no... not her! But all I did was kiss her! We never... never did... was it... was it the... marijuana? I went to... [chokes] I went ... there... because of THAT? Oh GOD!!!
[curls up in ball of misery on the floor, sobbing again]

[bornofthis]

[ Balthazar only shrugs, looking quite indifferent. ]

It has been known to happen for less.

Where exactly is it that you think you are?

[bill_hazeldine]

[looks up at the strange man] But... you said I was dead... and not in heaven? Where else would I be but... hell? But... I can't imagine hell would be an enormous library. I always rather thought that would be heaven for me. But... you said that wasn't where I am. I'm so confused... so where AM I? [red-rimmed eyes gazing up at Balthazar with just a shred of hope]

[bornofthis]

[ Oh, hope. How he loved to crush it. But in a moment. Let it rise up a bit more. ]

You are not at a Library. Yet. That comes...later.

You're somewhere...in between.

[bill_hazeldine]

Purgatory? Am I being judged?

[bornofthis]

Always.

[bill_hazeldine]

What do I DO? Please Mister! What do I DO? Where do I GO?

[bornofthis]

Do you always ask so many questions?

[bill_hazeldine]

I'm sorry... but I don't know what is going on here, and I just want some answers! I'm lost! And you sound like you know where we ARE! So, come on... m-m-mister! [obviously not used to getting uppity with anybody, and is trying it out]

[rockofages]

They're not going to listen.

[bill_hazeldine]

Who? I mean... what? Who's not going to listen?

[rockofages]

Whoever it is you speak to. I'm afraid that for the time being, you're stuck here.

[bill_hazeldine]

So... this IS Purgatory? I am being judged? And are you the angel who will judge me?

[rockofages]

[A lengthy pause and then a deep and very amused laugh. Give him a minute.]

Oh my, you are a long way from home. How strong is your faith in your Christian God?