Spoilers for... Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter??

[imthehero]

You know... you already made the reserve, so you KNOW you HAVE to write the app now! People are waiting for this, you can't disappoint my fans!

Yeah yeah, I know, the history section, MY LONG AND INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT HISTORY is going to be hard, but I'm sure you can get through it. Like today, seeing that movie about how Abraham Lincoln killed vampires? Totally counts as history review, dude! How about how all the confederates were vampires and how badass Lincoln was with that axe?? He whipped that thing around better than Neo with that metal pipe! AND THE TRAIN EXPLODING! And all that character depth, and Abe's passion to erase slavery completely! Not to mention what a GREAT BEST FRIEND William was! And it was entirely platonic, completely. And the ending with Obama- perfect. Flawless! Just like my taste in movies.  

 Now that is a good movie. It was so scarily accurate to history, I felt like I was having a flashback!

...What do you mean something important was supposed to happen today? I don't remember anything important.

-Ha ha, no, mun, my birthday's in three days.

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[16th]

[ there's a long pause, then finally a low, weary laugh that sounds a little heartbroken. ]

More things in heaven and earth, I do suppose. My God, at least you're proof that we shall survive this war.

[imthehero]

We do, sir! And we're the best country the world's ever had the honor to have!

[16th]

My only regret, then, is that it came to war at all.

[ a pause, laying a hand on the top of his head. ]

You look almost young enough to be one of my sons.

[imthehero]

It was bound to happen sooner or later. Most countries go through that sort of thing.

And hey, maybe I look young, but I'm over 200 years old!

[16th]

Little more than a boy in terms of the world's nations. Still-- I take your meaning. I shall try not to be terribly maudlin.

[imthehero]

Hey! I'm not a boy! I'm a well-respected, fully grown adult!

...Ha ha, who am I kidding, I can't be mad at you for thinking that. I was probably ... what, sixteen when that happened? I mean, appearance-wise.