Shut up, Carver

[serahsourpuss]

Have a bit of nostalgia, are we? Oh yes, forget him for months, and then suddenly we're having little heart flutters over having me shoved into Kirkwall bay and it's all [ cue falsetto ] 'Oh Carver' 'Dear Carver' 'I missed you so sodding much, Carver'. You haven't missed me, you harpy, you've missed torturing me!

Well not this time, madam. I've been enjoying my vacation very well, thank you, and I'd no sooner wish to see him than I would revisit any of the over hideous things you had me involved in before.

So. On your way. Run along. Go play with your other dolls. Ta-ta, then, do forget to write!

Comments

[failedhorribly]

Well. I can't say I don't understand where she's coming from. [:'D]

[serahsourpuss]

You are just as bad as her and thank the bleeding Maker you've got exactly zero say in this.

[justice_is_blond]

Him?

[serahsourpuss]

Tall, forgets to shave and ends up looking like a homeless sewer dweller fairly often, likes to claim entire family names for himself and has an insanitary habit of smearing a line of blood across his oddly shaped nose.

[sacrificial]

You have a terrible falsetto.

[serahsourpuss]

And I worked so hard on it...

[selfloyalty]

You are certainly a pleasant one.

[LMAO OH LIKE YOU CAN TALK ANORA]

[serahsourpuss]

[ APFFF I feel like this is the CR I never knew needed to happen

said so dryly: ] And on Tuesdays and Thursdays I host tea parties.

[youallneedme]

[ Did someone say torture? ]

Why dear Carver, you're far too young for retirement, didn't you know?

Honestly brother, you've had a vacation for far too long. Been sipping drinks from the Blooming Rose have we? Perhaps sipping Faith's Rose?

[ He's trying to hide his grin. It's not really working. ]

If only we were all so lucky-

oh wait.

[ His hands go behind his head, and he leans back, in a faux-lounge standing position. ]

[serahsourpuss]

Sipping Faith's-- [ SPUTTERING ALREADY, UGH, HE HATES YOU SO ] Maker's tits, Garrett, there are women and children around, do you bloody mind?

[snowpointvictor]

Aren't you a cheerful one?

[serahsourpuss]

If by cheerful we're meaning lamenting my life's fortune, then yes, that's what we'll call it.

[septim]

[ Martin steeples his fingers, sitting down and getting comfortable. ] Would you like to talk about it?

[youallneedme]

Don't encourage him. You'll never shut him up.

[serahsourpuss]

Have you got several hours?

[womanshaped_batteringram]

Carver, acting like a tit the first chance you get is not quite as pleasant as you might believe it to be. [js]

[failedhorribly]

Have I mentioned I love you, lately?

[youallneedme]

Well said, Aveline. Always the voice of reason.

[serahsourpuss]

Oh like you've never been upset about something yours has stuck you in.

[noble_nate]

I'm quite surprised that your mun would be able to forget about someone as... vocal... as you.

[serahsourpuss]

Luckily she has a good many more just as vocal to drown me out.

Clearly you need an elf.

[notyourlittlewolf]

By 'Him' I assume you mean Hawke.

You do realise that the louder you argue against this the more determined they will become?

Oh yes this is what was missing, thank you

[serahsourpuss]

She tends to be easily distracted, so I honestly doubt the loudness at which I agree is any matter.

[swoopingisbad]

Only shoved into the bay? Seems like such trivial things to get all ranty about, doesn't it?

[serahsourpuss]

I was wearing full plate armor. I almost died.

[wilywilyways]

Look what soggy biscuit the cat dragged in!

[serahsourpuss]

Were I any sort of biscuit, I would at the very least not be a soggy one. ...More like one of those fancy ones with the filling they serve at rich people parties. [ idek, shut up, carver ]

[leandrahawke]

Really, Carver, I'm sure I taught you better manners than this. Muns can be irritating, it's true, but we should be grateful when they bring us out. The alternative is so very tiresome, after all, for all that you call it a 'vacation'.

Now stop complaining and go make peace with your brother.