John is all for the compartmentalization of Marvel movieverses.

[exterrorist]

No, man. I really don't think SHIELD should coexist with mutants. We know where that leads, right? And doing that would also open the door for so much more. Let me just remind you that this is what you'd also be courting:



Is this what you want?



Is it really?



I don't want to be a SHIELD agent. Just use some other governmental division, for fuck's sake. It's not like I even have the training!

Comments

[idkmybffvenom]

I am so glad I avoided this whole... faze.

Also. Word to the wise. Avoid any and all governmental divisions. They're pretty bent on screwing you over in the long run. Like shoving you knee-deep in $%@# screwing you over.

[exterrorist]

There's probably something else to be embarrassed about. ... but I don't know what would be quite so, uh. That.

Yeah, well. If there were another way. One that doesn't suck, I mean.

[idkmybffvenom]

Yeah I have a whole grocery list of mistakes. Not gonna judge Pete there just... glad I don't have that to tack on.

Uh, what is it you wanna get into? Combat?

[exterrorist]

I figure you get made that many years ago, you accumulate stuff. But nothing quite so bad as a headliner, right?

It's just this deal I had to cut. Well, no, I didn't have to, it's just better than jail or hiding.

[idkmybffvenom]

To be fair, that's a pretty tame way of handling an alien parasite. It could have been worse. He could have eaten somebody. I think that might take the cake on bad hair and awful dance moves.

No offense, Pete.

That's a tough break then. I can sympathize with the whole... lack of options deal. I guess my best advice is always always read the fine print. Don't let them throw any sucker punches. Because they will. Also. Planting bombs inside of you? Another issue. Avoid that too.

[manofiron]

I'm sorry. Are you suggesting that this emo kid works for SHIELD?

[exterrorist]

Well, not this one. He's just this horrible, loitering, adjunct sort of possibility.

[manofiron]

Yeah, well, I think the possibility's enough for me to quit.

[exterrorist]

Quit what, quantum-based existence? I don't think he's coming to a neighborhood near you anytime soon. Or me, for that matter, but I really just don't want to be a SHIELD agent.

[rainfading]

But that hair though.

So close, if only he went for the horns:

[exterrorist]

Alien symbiotes fuckin love 80s music.

[rainfading]

The more you know.

Why do you have to work for this SHIELD thing?

[exterrorist]

It has to be "the government," which is such a comfortingly vague idea, because blah blah cut a deal reforming blah blah will stop drinking and setting shit on fire, you know how it is.

And I'm sure they'll value that piece of knowledge about alien symbiote musical taste. Maybe it'll swing me a gun.

[butwhytho]

...why would you do this?

crying

[exterrorist]

Look, it's not my fault you can't dance.

check the marvel live action post, asshole

[butwhytho]

It's not my fault I'm not Justin Hammer!

but I don't want to look at 57480257487 Lokis

[exterrorist]

And the hair? You want to justify that too?

[piskie]

You don't need training, mate, that's why there's a saying, right, 'good enough for government work'.

[exterrorist]

Sure, sure, easy to say it, but then why do they keep making me take physicals and go jogging? They just about sent me through basic. Fucking sadists, I'm a writer.

[piskie]

That is proper bullshit. Why've you gotta, though? I reckon I'd be doing literal anything else.

[exterrorist]

Eh, field agent fitness, something something quit smoking eat yogurt. I don't know, though admittedly, the ability to run fast at the slightest provocation can be useful in bad situations.

[neveracoward]

I know that's what I want.

[exterrorist]

H...i.

[IT'S TOO LATE TO LOOK FOR EXITS he's just gonna. Hang out and use liberal amounts of pokerface.]

What would that be.

[neveracoward]

Hi yourself.

The man in those .gifs, John. He sets my heart aflutter and gives me the warm fuzzies.

[exterrorist]

You should go say hi, then. He'd appreciate it.