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[solemnlyswore]

No, you know what? No. This doesn't get to happen right now, and let me tell you why. I have a whole laundry list, we could be here for hours. But I'm guessing your attention span is like mine, so I'll give you the "I cheated off of Lily Evans' notes" version.

One: You don't get to ask me to come out when you're also playing that DICK. Fine, so back home I wouldn't know who in the hell he was. But having to share space with him? Not happening. It just isn't.

Two: Still, you're playing that bastard. And considering what said bastard has done to Reggie my family everyone I know? You do realize what you're asking is akin to betrayal, or torture, or...something equally horrible?

Three: Do you even have the time for me? Let me tell you, I've both been there, and done that. And I don't have to put up with you for sixteen years by proxy, mate. I'll tell you what I told Prongs years ago: get your shit sorted, and then we'll talk. Worked out well enough for him, why can't it for you?

It just isn't happening. Let it go.

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[the_noble_black]

Sitting there complaining loudly about it doesn't do anything, you know.

[solemnlyswore]

[Oh, this isn't happening. Can't be happening. Why is everything in his life today impossible and infuriating all at once? He wants to be happy about this, that his brother is seemingly fine when Sirius is sick to his stomach with an inkling that he shouldn't be.

Nothing about this is right. But somehow "impossible" hasn't stayed that way, and as much as it annoys him, Regulus is right (and it's probably the only thing here that could even be construed that way).]

So maybe it makes me feel better.

[No one ever said he had to be mature about being wrong.]

[the_noble_black]

[There's something about the look Sirius gives him, the light hesitation, the glance of disbelief- for some reason, it sparks a hint of anger, and Regulus turns away.]

I suppose whining always did pacify you.

[solemnlyswore]

[He hadn't intended for this to turn into a fight. Granted, he rarely does...alright no, that's a lie, he often does, but the one time he doesn't, and he gets the reaction he normally has to work for. Damn it, Regulus, get with the program.

Sirius really only has himself to blame, but it take a miracle for him to willingly recognize that.]

Oh, don't act like doing the same thing with Mum doesn't work for you.

[Wow, Sirius, sure didn't take you long to go there.]

[the_noble_black]

Are we already on this again?

[Nobody was better than Sirius at pissing him off. Just the mention of their mother makes his eyes narrow slightly, fists tightening in anger.

So much for a happy family reunion?]

You don't know anything about Mother. Or me.

[solemnlyswore]

Really? I know she'd offer you up sacrificially to a mass-murdering fuckhead. [Not that he was in any place to do anything about it, given that he was too busy proving his adolescent rebellion a point to said parent. There is, actually, a small part of him that regrets this, that feels real remorse for leaving his brother behind. But there's a much larger part (partially fueled by his friends, but it's not fair to give all the blame to James Potter when his ego is big enough already) that automatically assumed that Regulus would have disagreed, argued, and thrown this worry right back in his face.

It seemed easier at the time to simply act (or run away, but he refused to call it that, because Sirius Black was NOT a damned coward) and deal later. Especially since he, obviously, hadn't ever been very good at facing his problems head-on. It was easier to apologize later, wasn't it?

Of course, he's never been able to bring himself to that apology.]

[the_noble_black]

[He grits his teeth in anger, before trying to look away. In all honesty, there was some element of truth to his brother's words- Mother was too preoccupied with how proud she was, and how Regulus upheld the family honor to... care much about whether or not he got hurt in the process.

Still, she had mourned. He knew she had. Hadn't she?]

As opposed to what, Sirius? [His voice is heavier now, low with anger.] Leaving and joining up with the opposite side in the damned war? Abandoning everything the family stood for? Yeah, you're a shining example of how family should treat one another.

[solemnlyswore]

As opposed to blindly following? Oh sure, Reg, sounds great. Because that's worth betraying my friends.

Ah. There's the problem. You never did have many, did you?

[Keep deflecting, Sirius. It's not obvious at all. He really wants to argue that his friends are his family, and between obeying one family and betraying the other, it's a choice that's a lot harder to make than it really looks like.]

I'd rather fight a war for what I actually believed in than cower behind because I was too fucking afraid to disagree. Tell me, Reg, what exactly does our family stand for? And is that something you'd really want to die for?

[His voice breaks, barely audible, and he nearly chokes on the last bit. It's a low blow, even for him, and maybe he's partially angry at Regulus for anything happening to him at all, as if he could have prevented it. Not that he really knows what really happened or why. He keeps telling himself he doesn't want to know and that maybe some secrets are kept for a reason. But he wants to think that maybe, just maybe, Regulus is better than that. But the "facts" don't check out right.]

[the_noble_black]

Of course I had friends.

[And it sounds extremely petty and childish to say that, and as soon as it's out of his mouth, he wishes he could take it back. He did, it's true, but arguing that? It was so... blatantly immature and, frankly, right up his brother's alley.

At the next words though, he practically sees red, a white hot anger coursing through him and you little bastard, he wants nothing more than to open his mouth and tell Sirius just what he did finally die for, but he doesn't. Some secrets were meant to be kept.

Regulus grits his teeth instead, nails digging into his palms.]

...shut up. You don't know anything. Go back and play hero with your friends, see how far it gets you in the real world.

[solemnlyswore]

And how many of those friends are people your almighty dark lord doesn't like the look of?

[The truth, Sirius already knows, is "not far". He's seen so much more death than he ever wanted to think possible, far too much for a one lifetime. It's not right, it isn't fair, none of this is, and Merlin, how he really would like to just curl up and pretend that the world extended no farther than his bedroom. But hiding from this, as far as he's concerned, is akin to agreeing with it. And while it might have looked to some like their whole group of friends followed Potter's word, and Potter's word alone, Sirius is just as much of an agitator. He always has been. Sure, he could have gotten a free pass based on his connections and family alone, but that was playing it safe.]

I know enough. Think for yourself for five sodding minutes! [All you had to do was come with me.]

[the_noble_black]

[Regulus was never good at holding his own against his brother. Even when they were little, and their scuffles left them rolling around in the lush garden, they always ended with Regulus pinned, squealing for mercy, and Sirius boasting about it for the rest of the evening. When the fights extended to the schoolyard brawls- Sirius might have gotten a black eye once or twice, but in turn, Regulus was constantly nursing a split lip, a bruised cheek, a sore shoulder.

Sirius was, simply put, good at antagonizing anyone. But he especially knew how to push Regulus' buttons, growing up with him in those few years- and nobody, not Malfoy, not even the Potter brat, could get under his skin like his own brother could.]

Why do you think I'm dead, you idiot!?

[It comes out, angry and heated, before he can stop himself and- well.

Sirius has always been too good at antagonizing him.]

[solemnlyswore]

[Sirius is sort of stunned into silence for a moment. It's not often that Regulus snaps back--not harshly enough to make him really pay attention anyway--and for once it's enough to jar him out of his tunnel-vision rhetoric. Had Regulus forgotten about that whole "mass murdering" part, because that had seemed pretty obvious to him from the beginning. Working for Voldemort had a high mortality rate: sometimes seemingly as high as not working for him. It had been so easy to assume that Regulus had fucked up, eventually proved too soft, hell, looked at his "lord" the wrong way. Was it even difficult to anger him? It sure as hell never seemed like it, what with all of the things you could and couldn't be much less do in order to be on the "right" side of the war.]

Well, let's see. You swore fealty to a homicidal maniac. Gee, Reggie, what part of that is supposed to be unclear?

[Aside from all of it.]

[the_noble_black]

Yes, fine.

[Cooling down a little. That had been close- it was hard to believe that he'd actually snapped like that, but Sirius wouldn't see it. Sirius was still so blind, even when all of the evidence was right in front of him. He'd rather believe in his own idea of the world, rather charge forward headfirst than doubt anything that he might think is reality. It was annoying and it pissed Regulus off to no end, but- it was useful, he supposed, when one was trying to keep things from the older boy.]

I deserved everything that I got because I chose to follow my family rather than to go after some half-cocked prick who wouldn't know loyalty if it spit in his face.

[It was almost easier, to fall into these roles. Regulus found, quite suddenly, that he didn't necessarily mind being the bad guy- Sirius hating a mask was far better than Sirius hating the truth.]

[solemnlyswore]

[DAMN IT, REGULUS, he didn't mean it like that! He's never meant it like that, but that's how it always sounds. Always. They never seem to be able to find a point of similarity, even if they happen to be talking about the same damn thing.

Brothers. Idiots.

Of course, Sirius doesn't see it any other way than he's right, and he's clearly being vilified for standing up for what he believes in, because Merlin forbid a teenage boy disagrees with his parents.]

Sure, Reg, because I asked to be related to this conniving bunch of assholes! Sure sounds like a great reason for blind obedience to me!

[Even if Regulus was the only one who seemed halfway decent, growing up. He cares, really. He's just terrible at showing it, and without an explanation as to why Regulus is (was?) dead the way he is (was?), he can't get over the idea that even his own brother has fallen into the family's bullshit rhetoric, and maybe that's his fault. Maybe it isn't. But is there even anything he can do anymore?]

[the_noble_black]

[Regulus is just happy enough that they're off the topic of his death- even though their family has been argued over, Sirius' complaints have been voiced, Regulus' defenses have been yelled so many times in the past... well, it's almost a comfortable subject now. One he feels he can play along with, without getting as emotionally involved.

It's easier to pull back and let himself yell.]

Don't you get it? Blood is all we have in this world. You don't just pull away and leave it for nothing.

[But he did, and in the end, Regulus did too.

He isn't sure how to feel about that.]

[solemnlyswore]

[Comfortable, easy, and yet it never ceases to ignite Sirius' anger. Goddamned Lions. He couldn't say why he cares about being right so much: of course he's got an ego to rival James Potter, but in this conversation, one they've had so many times, he should have learned a long time ago that it's futile. If the goal was simply to be "right," it would actually be easier to give up and put that into the denial corner with everything else.

He can't admit that he cares. Least of all to himself.]

NO! YOU don't get it, Regulus! If that's all you have left, I feel sorry for you.

[hatesthemoon]

And here I thought you cheated off me? [ he's trying to lighten the mood. Seriously.]

[solemnlyswore]

I thought we weren't supposed to talk about that, Moons. [Oh, he's a master of deflection, he will take that distraction from the topic at hand and run with it.]

[hatesthemoon]

No. We're not meant to talk about the amount of girls you've made out in The Owlery. This is OK. As long as the teachers don't knock down my grades. [ Have a bright happy though, go master of deflection. Work your magic.]

[solemnlyswore]

The owlery was only the one time! A mistake I won't be repeating again, you have my solemn word on that, mate. Now if we're talking broom cupboards, the astronomy tower, empty classrooms, the dungeons, the third-floor corridor, the kitchens, or the potions storeroom...

Stuff your grades, Moony.

[hatesthemoon]

I get it. I get it. [ He's just going to put up his hand now. Because as much as he loves you Pads. He can't hear too of much of that without getting a little jealous.]

I like my grades Pads.

[solemnlyswore]

But do they like you back even half as much as I do? [No, he really isn't considering the deeper implication to that statement, though it if came right down to it, he wouldn't necessarily reject it either. He's just not very good at having to consider the implications of things (especially right now) unless it's an intentional innuendo.]

[hatesthemoon]

Don't be daft. [ He said, rolling his eyes. Even he had to see the absurdity of that statement.] Nothing can like me like you and the others do. [ Because, come on, he's a werewolf. His friends were the only people he'd found that accepted all of him. Even his worse parts.] But that's not the point. I like them. So they can't suffer.

[ Pause.]

The potions storeroom? Really?

[solemnlyswore]

What? You know things in there work wonders for the libdo, Moons, you should try it sometime.

[hatesthemoon]

My libido is fine without needing to add anything to it. I just don't flaunt my conquests like you do. [ He said with a small poke of his his tongue. When really, he had no "conquests?"]