dear_mun | Voice Testing

Entry tags:

canon: marvel live action

Voice Testing

[In a strong Russian accent, the English syntax slightly imperfect, but the tone confident nonetheless.] Hey, you. What you want bring me here for? Why you think I want work with you?

You know what I tell Hammer? I said, "If someone kills me, don't wake me up, because I would rather be dead than to live in your world."

So, what world you think you have that I want be part of?

[Apparently whatever his mun's got on the table is enough for a start though, because it makes him chuckle and seems to bring him around.]

You want see what I will do to Tony Stark?

All right, man. I can do that. No problem.

You watch.

We will see what there is for you to see.

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[WHAT]

[OH GOD IS THIS HAPPENING

THIS CAN'T BE POSSIBLE

WHAT THE FUCK WAIT WHY

WHY IS THIS...THIS IS NOT GOOD

THIS IS NOT HAMMER TIME THIS IS VERY NOT GOOD MAN]

[Oh, hey, look, it's your buddy, Ivan! He's just all charm and smiles right now oh God he has no idea what's going on

please don't kick him in the face, people keep doing that. Kicking him in the face, it's like people don't like him.]

Heeey, look who it is! It's the bird man! You still have your bird, right?

[Laughing quietly to himself. Well. Maybe this isn't going to be so bad after all.]

Hey, Justin. [You slimy sonofabitch.] Long time no see.

How you like drone? Is good demonstration, eh?

[Slimy? That's a compliment coming from a man with prison tats scattered all over his body. What can he say? He does his best.

And he's totally buttoning the front of his jacket, rolling his shoulders and doing his best to look completely unfazed.]

I still don't see the difference between presentation and demonstration, Ivan. But...yes, it was good.

[He'd rather have these tats and the story each one caries than some soulless tailored Italian suit. Not like some rich American bastard would understand that.]

You have lots of profit for Hammer Industries, sure thing. Stock never better. Government want many of them to buy. [Well would you look at that: he's not even going to pretend he's not making fun of you.]

[Justin's not stupid. Ivan got smashed by a car, what? Three, four times? And still had the gumption to be a badass. And he's big. Bigger now that Justin finds himself without a guard or two around, or even Jack...don't piss of guys stronger and bigger than you, it's a good rule.]

A-ha, well...no. Actually, not...not at all. More like prison, to be exact. I'm sure you know how it is. Prison, I mean, not...it's good to see you, man! I've missed you, real shame what...about the, uh...dying thing, that'll really put a damper on...not being dead.

[~~That is debatable.~~ If nothing else, that self-preservation instinct will serve you well in jail, Hammer.]

Heh. Looks like not so dead as you thought. [And now that it comes down to it, he's pretty glad to be here so far. Seeing you squirm makes it so worth while.]

How they treat you in American prison? You make good friends, cell mate take good care you?

[God. Damn. It.]

No, actually, uh...government folks called SHIELD? They took me into custody, so it was a bit...I wasn't, you, you, you know with everyone else. I had my own little...cell. Cable, too! Just me and some guards and a therapist and...no cell mate and no...unsightly, uhm, run ins with...

[Ivan why are you making him so uncomfortable this is not cool]

[Don't mind him, he's just having a laugh at your expense over here.]

Too bad, man. [And then he says something in Russian, which, unless Justin's taken a crash course, he won't recognize as meaning: You might have become more human if you had.]

[NO FUCKING RUSSIAN

FUCK RUSSIAN

HE CANNOT STAND THAT LANGUAGE but oh God Ivan is a very big man so he won't say anything, he'll just laugh a little.]

Still don't speak Russian, buddy.

[If he liked you more, he might give you a translation. But as it is, he's just going to let you suffer. ~~Sorry.~~]

Maybe while you in prison you learn. Good time for study.

You read Gogol. He tell you bout barber find nose in his bread. "Sir, you are mistaken. I am my own individual." Very good story.

[Don't ever be sorry, Ivan. Justin doesn't deserve sorry, and he'd be insulted to get that from you.]

Already went in and got out, buddy.

[Oh, look! Another instance of Ivan saying things Justin doesn't understand. Best reunion ever.]

...what?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Voice Testing

1/3 - OH MY GOD

2/3

no subject

I was wondering if I might lure a Hammer out with this!

Ivan, your milkshake brings all the Hammers to the yard.

And he's like damn right its better than yours. He could teach you, but he'd have to charge

The only exception being burds, of course.

Shhh. He's trying not to think about the bird, okay! It's a sore spot. :'(

Justin owes him nine more birds, he'll be set for a while :')

He just wants one special bird, why can't you understaaaaaaaand! /cryface

That one's probs dead though, buddy, unless he took to chewin on your dad.

LMAO Ivan's dad-eating bird: new Marvel character!

Cannibird.