Voice Testing

[lashing]

[In a strong Russian accent, the English syntax slightly imperfect, but the tone confident nonetheless.] Hey, you. What you want bring me here for? Why you think I want work with you?

You know what I tell Hammer? I said, "If someone kills me, don't wake me up, because I would rather be dead than to live in your world."

So, what world you think you have that I want be part of?

[Apparently whatever his mun's got on the table is enough for a start though, because it makes him chuckle and seems to bring him around.]

You want see what I will do to Tony Stark?

All right, man. I can do that. No problem.

You watch.

We will see what there is for you to see.

Comments

The only exception being burds, of course.

[therealgenius]

[Justin's not stupid. Ivan got smashed by a car, what? Three, four times? And still had the gumption to be a badass. And he's big. Bigger now that Justin finds himself without a guard or two around, or even Jack...don't piss of guys stronger and bigger than you, it's a good rule.]

A-ha, well...no. Actually, not...not at all. More like prison, to be exact. I'm sure you know how it is. Prison, I mean, not...it's good to see you, man! I've missed you, real shame what...about the, uh...dying thing, that'll really put a damper on...not being dead.

Shhh. He's trying not to think about the bird, okay! It's a sore spot. :'(

[lashing]

[That is debatable. If nothing else, that self-preservation instinct will serve you well in jail, Hammer.]

Heh. Looks like not so dead as you thought. [And now that it comes down to it, he's pretty glad to be here so far. Seeing you squirm makes it so worth while.]

How they treat you in American prison? You make good friends, cell mate take good care you?

Justin owes him nine more birds, he'll be set for a while :')

[therealgenius]

[God. Damn. It.]

No, actually, uh...government folks called SHIELD? They took me into custody, so it was a bit...I wasn't, you, you, you know with everyone else. I had my own little...cell. Cable, too! Just me and some guards and a therapist and...no cell mate and no...unsightly, uhm, run ins with...

[Ivan why are you making him so uncomfortable this is not cool]

He just wants one special bird, why can't you understaaaaaaaand! /cryface

[lashing]

[Don't mind him, he's just having a laugh at your expense over here.]

Too bad, man. [And then he says something in Russian, which, unless Justin's taken a crash course, he won't recognize as meaning: You might have become more human if you had.]

That one's probs dead though, buddy, unless he took to chewin on your dad.

[therealgenius]

[NO FUCKING RUSSIAN

FUCK RUSSIAN

HE CANNOT STAND THAT LANGUAGE but oh God Ivan is a very big man so he won't say anything, he'll just laugh a little.]

Still don't speak Russian, buddy.

LMAO Ivan's dad-eating bird: new Marvel character!

[lashing]

[If he liked you more, he might give you a translation. But as it is, he's just going to let you suffer. Sorry.]

Maybe while you in prison you learn. Good time for study.

You read Gogol. He tell you bout barber find nose in his bread. "Sir, you are mistaken. I am my own individual." Very good story.

Cannibird.

[therealgenius]

[Don't ever be sorry, Ivan. Justin doesn't deserve sorry, and he'd be insulted to get that from you.]

Already went in and got out, buddy.

[Oh, look! Another instance of Ivan saying things Justin doesn't understand. Best reunion ever.]

...what?