(no subject)

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

See? That's exactly what I'm talking about, bro. Women are distracting. You're not getting any work done, and for what? Clear your mind and don't even go down that road.

Trust me, I know what happens. You know what happens if you do? BAM, they steal your man-onnaise for their experiments and soon we'll be obsolete. Did you know that top feminist scientists are already working on phasing men out of existence?! Scary shit, man. I'm serious, there's some kind of way now that they can extract bone marrow from a woman and like... Chem-fem-reverse-bio-engineer it to get a viable Y chromosome. You know what this means, don't you?

Women can get each other pregnant now.

That was the last line of defense we had as men, but now that's come crumbling down too! These truly are the final days, brother. The feminists are rallying their forces and getting ready to strike. So stay on guard and keep away from bitches.

Also, what the hell do you mean "homeless"? I have at least four homes, thank you.

Comments

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

What? Do you think I haven't planned enough? I thought I had this shit on lock, but maybe I need to prepare for this better...

[doubleroseknight]

I don't think ye have anything t'worry about as far as women are concerned, boy.

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

Ooooh, so you think I'm studly? Well thanks, but that's not the kind of bromance I'm into.

You are amazing, by the way.

[doubleroseknight]

[There are. No words.]

...Even were I interested in men, lad, ye wouldn't be my type. No worries there.

Thank you! :D That means a lot!

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

Cool, I thought we were about to get real awkward for a second there. Not that I have anything against gay men. They're men, too. We cool.

[doubleroseknight]

So you're... asexual, then? [Because obviously if he's not gay, and he hates women, this is the only explanation.]

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

Of course not! But you have to be careful. I can't just go around sexin' up ladies left and right, that would give them the upper hand!

[doubleroseknight]

...

[Dude, you're saying this to Scotland's most notorious playboy. Fathers warned their virgin daughters to steer clear of his forest lest they no longer be maidens. He's just going lineface at you.]

...I don't follow.

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

Makes you vulnerable, man! Tires you out. That's the perfect time for them to - SNIKT - strike you down.

[doubleroseknight]

If done right, shouldn't they be just as exhausted? [Some of us are fit to run a marathon, thank you very much.]

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

No way, that's how they suck your energy out! Like vampires.




Dick vampires.

I lol'd

[doubleroseknight]

...You've never actually slept with a woman, have ye, lad?

1/2

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

Dude! That's none of your business!

2/2

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

...But yeah, I have. It was pretty sweet until the end.

[doubleroseknight]

You're still alive.

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

Well yeah. She was just there for recon. She couldn't take me down! She was too soft.

S-Soft...