momchester finally made a bb account

[minifridge]

You know they're just icons, right? [Mary brushes her hair out of her eyes and stares unimpressed into the... wherever it is she's looking.] There's really no need to obsess.

[She rolls her eyes and scoffs in an... incredibly teenage way.]

I don't even know why you made this account. It's not like there's a point. [squaring her shoulders determinedly, self-consciously aware that she looks a little silly.] My life will be way too boring for you to write anything about and that's just fine with me. Got it?

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[failedparenting]

I had to.

[His grip on her hand tightens, almost like he's terrified she'll pull away when he confesses.]

I had to watch you die, Mary. He was hurting other families like ours. The son of a bitch had to pay. And he did, baby. Dean shot him right between the fucking eyes.

[It does feel wrong, cursing so freely in front of Mary. He never used to, but John's filters were shot years ago.]

[minifridge]

[The satisfaction of knowing that the bastard got what was coming to him is second to the complete and utter heartbreak of seeing John talk like a hunter while looking at her so plaintively. So lovingly.

It hurts.]

But- [This is the opposite of everything she's ever wanted. She can't help the tears that finally start falling and she can't stop herself from touching him, touching his face, feeling the stubble and scars- stroking a thumb over his cheek. Just to reassure that he's real when her vision blurs with tears.] -I didn't want that for them. That's my worst nightmare.

[failedparenting]

[John has Mary in his arms the moment the tears start falling. He clings to her tight and strokes a hand through her hair in a piss-poor attempt to calm her down. He feel like crying himself, but he needs to keep it together. For her.]

I didn't know. I never knew.

[He squeezes his eyes shut hard-he won't fucking cry-and presses his lips into her hair. Since he found out, he'd suspected she'd hate what he did, he just never thought he'd have to face it.]

[minifridge]

[The shock of being in his arms - his and not his at the same time - has her next breath escaping as a sob, and she cries into his shoulder for a minute.]

I know, I know you didn't. I never wanted you to know. Never. I'm so sorry, I-

[Her fault, all of it. Her parents, her... husband?, her children, oh god.]

[failedparenting]

[John shakes his heard, cutting off whatever her next words would be.]

Please don't say that. It's not your fault, it was his.

[They just sit like that for the next few minutes, Mary crying and John whispering reassurances into her hair.

However, John slowly comes to a realization in those few minutes. Slowly, but surely, he comes to notice every inch of he body pressed up against his. As does his body.

He needs to untangle her from his body, quickly, but she's still hurting so bad. What the hell can he do now?]

[minifridge]

[It feels nice, so nice to feel John around her, it really does. She can curl up in his lap and cry on him and no matter what the years have done to him, he feels the same when he holds her and sounds the same whispering those same loving things to her. It helps that she's keeping her face buried into him, not opening her eyes, because then she'd have to deal with him being older than her father was.

She's still hurting, badly, but it helps to accept anew that she can't tell him the whole truth. It's a mixed blessing that his memories of that night are still garbled, that he doesn't remember having his neck snapped. So for now she's content with staying there, pressed tight against him and just breathing. Hearing his heart beating in his chest. It's soothing.]

[failedparenting]

[It does feel nice, too nice. Part of John never wants her to leave, just see what happens. The other half is mildly sickened by his other thoughts, and needs her to move now. She's still a kid, for fuck's sake.

He'll make her move soon, but first he wants to savor the sensation of her body on his. It's been too long since he even touched her, since they've kissed, since anything really. He needs this.]

Mary?

[minifridge]

[Her face is still sort of. Buried in him. She turns her head so she can talk.]

Yes?

[failedparenting]

[He was going to tell her it was time to get up (before he involuntarily gave himself away), but when she turns her face towards his, he has to kiss her.

So he does.]

[minifridge]

[Mary lets out a surprised yelp because wow, not even remotely expecting that, but after a second relaxes and kisses him back a little.

It just. Takes her a second or five. When she does kiss back it's uncertainly, shyly.]