A bored mun is an annoying mun -- Canon is Vampire: The Masquerade

[brujah_barkeep]

Dear Mun-Thing,

You're a righteous pain in the ass, you know that? You trot me out because you're bored? Right, yeah, like I don't have better things to do. What's next? You're gonna start launching me at canons you watch? The Spookynatural and the Vampires-who-never-die-aries?

Please. If any of those idiots ever saw a real Kindred, they'd probably wet their pants.

I swear to God, if you throw me at someone who sparkles, I'm going to kick your ass.

Not with love,

-D

Comments

[paperworkprodigy]

Just checking. I've sort of developed a skewed idea of what's strange. One of my co-workers is a vampire, after all.

[brujah_barkeep]

Oh yeah? How's that working out for you?

[paperworkprodigy]

Well, I'm not sure anyone knows quite what to make of him. Mysterious bloke, if exceptionally dishy. Still, he's good at what he does and hasn't tried to murder me yet, so that's decent marks in my book.

[brujah_barkeep]

Well, we're not all axe-murdering freaks.

[paperworkprodigy]

That wasn't so much a remark against vampires as it was against my co-workers, in any case. Although it seems in his younger years he had a decent number of murders under his belt. I gather he doesn't really need an axe, though, considering that at that reception fiasco he turned several people into a fine red mist unarmed.

[brujah_barkeep]

Dude must be a Brujah.

[paperworkprodigy]

I don't think he's your sort, unless you hatched from an egg. He's rather tight-lipped about the specifics of how vampirism works for him, at least, but we do know that.

[...mainly because of the bloodbath that followed one of their agents getting caught witnessing his brother's hatching, whoops]

[brujah_barkeep]

...

An egg?

[paperworkprodigy]

Yeah, I thought it was pretty weird, too. Big scabby egg full of blood, I guess.

[brujah_barkeep]

Someone is pranking you, lady.

[paperworkprodigy]

Alas, we take record-keeping very seriously around here. Believe me, I wish some of the stuff I deal with was fake.

[brujah_barkeep]

You keep your eyes out for Ashton Kutcher, okay? Sounds like you're on Punked.

[paperworkprodigy]

You're a vampire. Shouldn't you know a thing or two about the scope of things that are real?

But all the better if you don't believe it, I suppose. Less paperwork to fill out, fewer cover-ups to arrange, I get to leave the office on time.

[brujah_barkeep]

Cover ups?

Sounds like you're a vampire Prince's wet dream.

[paperworkprodigy]

Well, up until the point where we behead them, I imagine.