DISCOVER: DOPPLEGANGERS

[crediting]

That is not Doktor. That is little girl in pink dress. You know differences better than that, da? Only a good mun can play me.

What I think of Fatman's baby gun? Useless, because it will be ripped to itty bitty tiny pieces when Sasha's bullets tears it apart.

Now, back to application!

Comments

[pocketsurgeon]

Vat ... vat ist zat supposed to be? Zat isn't supposed to be me ist it?

[crediting]

Supposed, supposed.

Is very bad imitation. You are not baby Barbie doll.

[pocketsurgeon]

I most certainly am not! Vere ist ze healing even coming from? Ze pistol? I don't understand how such technology vould vork.

[crediting]

Looks like battery-powered and cheap.

Hope it blows up on her face and kills her. [ grumbling grumbling — ]

[pocketsurgeon]

I vould zink it must, zere ist no vay somezing so small could hold a charge long enouff for any reliable healing.

Und any competent Sniper would shoot her out of the air as soon as she started doing zat flipping .. stuff.

[crediting]

The only Sniper there is too busy putting on make-up and killing team mates. Don't think anyone there is competent at all.

Babies.

[pocketsurgeon]

Zat ist ... disturbing actually. Don't worry Heavy, if zey are foolish enough to attack us, zen zey vill pay ze price.

... and I thought Final Combat couldn't get any worse.

[yesadministrator]

... [All these female mercenaries.

AND she just imagined the Medic in that pink dress.

She's blushing a bit now.]

Heavy?

IT SLAYS ME

[crediting]

[ oh miss pauling you're adorable :( ♥ ]

Miss Pauling?

Still waiting my for my fireman's hat for Soldier, Valve.

[yesadministrator]

Ah- interesting. [Her inquisitive side's taken over the shock.

She's jotting down a lot of notes.]

[hasstandards]

[He looks mildly horrified. And here he thought the lady mercenaries were a strange bunch for existing in the first place- this takes the cake.]

[crediting]

Sniper, Sniper, Sniper!!

[ That is her "SNAP OUT OF IT!" call. ]

[hasstandards]

[And snap out of it he does.]

Right. I hear you, I'm just... not sure how, um.

["Any of these women qualify to have the same jobs as he and his fellow mercenaries" is the thought he's going for, but he doesn't even finish his sentence.]

They don't all look like this, do they? The lady mercenaries?

[crediting]

Nyet!! Those people are a joke! Why would you think that?

[ she eyes sniper critically. is it because she's blu, is it because of the hair, she wonders — ]

[hasstandards]

[Cringing. Oh Sniper. Don't you know better than to make a Heavy— male or female— mad?]

Er, no reason. I just don't got a lot of experience with lady mercenaries is all.

[crediting]

[ making a heavy mad up close and personal: ask soldier and scout what happened. all the blood. ]

We are much better. "Professionals have standards," da? Heels in battlefield is stupid choice, will break ankles and slows you down.

[hasstandards]

I don't doubt it, mate. Er, miss.

[How to address a woman who is honestly more intimidating than she should be.]

Looks like she'd be in for a lotta pain if set on fire, too.

[crediting]

You plan to feed to Pyro?

[ she may sound immediately intrigued in a possibly good way. ]

[hasstandards]

Wait, what?

[And he sounds so unsure by that prospect.]

[crediting]

Send Pyro to set on fire. She might enjoy.

[ don't be unsure be sure and enjoy!! ]

[hasstandards]

Oh. Right, she would probably like that.

[He took that "feed to Pyro" part literally. She likes bacon, but probably not like that.]

[quickly]

[Stares for a moment out of sheer confusion.]

Dat's a little girl. Kids aren't supposed t'be out on the field usin' guns and shit. [Because Scout's the one to decide something like that. Mature, thoughtful Scout.]

They even stole th' damn Ubers and everything. What a bunch a' thievin' chucklefucks.

[crediting]

[ as much as she'd like to say BASEBALL BABY she'll do that later. for now, agreement — ]

Da. That was Doktor's work, not theirs!