[The truth of the matter is commandeering Jimmy's body is one of the most regrettable actions he's ever had to take. Being around Dean, experiencing that morality... he certainly doesn't feel good about taking away the man's life.
But he has no alternative. Jimmy's face is who he represents to Dean, and he could never live with the idea of taking away the life of another human being. Certainly not Claire. Jimmy wouldn't want that anyway, and the number of alternative vessels is... very small.
When he speaks, it's as gentle and rational as he can make it come across, considering this method of communication is more mental than anything.]
What would you have me do? I swore to protect your family, and I assume that means from myself as well.
[He regrets agreeing. With the kind of clarity he didn't have back then. But he wanted to be... special. So badly he believed in every word, even when he could barely understand them.
It still puts everything into sharp focus. The kind of life he used to have, the one he took for granted. All of it's gone now, but the fragments are there, and he's never been good at glueing things together.
He knows he has Castiel's gratitude. But...he's not going to lie, and he probably can't, but it still sends bolts of cold down his (their) spine, just hearing his voice.]
I don't know! Just-- alright, you, at least I'm used to you! She's-- she's different and I can't... I can't do this again.
[Castiel meant every word, at the time. He means them now, too. Jimmy is very special- only a small percentage of the world's population harbor the type of blood, mind, and soul capable of harboring an angel. That he was able to withstand it even as Castiel was promoted to archangel status is truly impressive.
But that isn't what makes Jimmy special. He gave himself, wholly and truly, to protect his daughter. Given his fondness for Dean Winchester, it's a trait he truly finds admirable. He's honored to be harbored within Jimmy. Honored to share his face.
Which doesn't mean he has the capability to give Jimmy what he's asking.]
With or without your permission, I refuse to take her.
[It's a statement of fact. Regrettable, but his sense of right and wrong is more clearly defined now that he's spent time with humanity. There is absolutely no way he would consider Claire as an alternative.]
Even if I were to vacate you permanently, surely you must know it would not stop you from being hunted. You're a target simply because I chose to reside in you. They'll kill you for revenge, or because they think it will limit my interference.
[He wants to believe him. Part of him, he thinks, will probably always believe him. And a promise is a promise, and he knows that (most of the time), Castiel would keep them.
He doesn't know what's changed, exactly. Probably time on the outside. Probably the company he keeps. There's a difference, he's pretty sure. He used to be so distant. And he's still a comet. Will still burn him up, probably without meaning to. That's what comets do, after all.
He's gotten used to bridges that won't be crossed. But part of him still wishes he wasn't. Probably always will.
There's a lot of probably's these days.]
I know, okay , I was there the last time. But can't we just-- I don't know, time share on this? Or something? I don't know.
My bad, dude! Went to fix the spelling, broke the html and the thread flow. /Facepalm
[Castiel will keep all of his promises, as long as they're feasibly in his power, especially in regards to Jimmy, who certainly managed to earn it. And if he had any other choice, any alternative, he would certainly take it.
But he doesn't. Staying away isn't an option, not anymore. If he were being... really and truly honest, he could probably carry on without a vessel. Most of his troubles lay in heaven, now. It's his fondness for Earth, for humanity, that leaves him refusing to accept it as an option. Relinquishing hold on his vessel would mean cutting all of his ties. Giving up emotion, sunlight, brothels and alcohol and streets and parks and people. To Sam, to Bobby Singer, and most especially, to Dean. That simply isn't an option he's willing to consider.]
A... Time share?
[That actually manages to trip him up, and his tone changes from regretful to puzzled. He searches his mind for a definition beyond the obvious. Time share. Where multiple people own land. Land, he's assuming, in this case, would be Jimmy's body.
That's... unrealistic, but not entirely unfeasible, given the right precautions.]
You're aware you wouldn't be able to return to your family without presenting a danger to them? They would once again be targeted, and I don't have the capability to keep a constant monitor on them.
Oh, god, no. I'm-- my name's Jimmy Novak, that's all.
[People who Cas had dealings with are usually Angels, who he doesn't like much, and Demons, who he likes less. So he's not giving you where he's from. At all.]
Don't you know that not just anyone can host an angel? We're not like demons, you know. We won't accept just any old lump of rotting, putrid meat. You're special, Jimmy Novak, and you were born especially for Castiel's purposes, whether you want it or not.
Okay, they're good. Most of the time. [Honestly, he's much happier where he is than if he were back home. Stuck in Hell.] They're confusing, and bizarre, but... they can be really great, too.
[He's not frustrated with you, Jimmy, just this whole situation. He doesn't know what to do with you - he wants to return you to your family, wherever they are, but you're a vessel. To the demons, that's public enemy number 2 - with number 1 being the Winchesters themselves.
Not really. I've seen you before, but you prolly wouldn't remember. [She smiles ruefully, and also kindly.] I'm Anna. You got stuck with my dork of a brother.
[Her smile broadens.] To you he's a big loud overwhelming comet. To me he's the kid brother who used to laugh at Uriel's bad jokes and let Balthazar steal his thunder, and who thought I didn't see right through him when he'd cover for Inias showing up late to inspections. [There's something lurking behind the amusement in her eyes that suggests not all her memories are so nostalgic, but she doesn't go there.] It's all a matter of perspective, I guess.
[She sits down next to him, folding her hands in her lap.] But I get where you're coming from. Missing being home, with your family? I know what that's like. I was human, once, for a while. I'd give anything if I could have my parents back again. Even for a little while.
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But he has no alternative. Jimmy's face is who he represents to Dean, and he could never live with the idea of taking away the life of another human being. Certainly not Claire. Jimmy wouldn't want that anyway, and the number of alternative vessels is... very small.
When he speaks, it's as gentle and rational as he can make it come across, considering this method of communication is more mental than anything.]
What would you have me do? I swore to protect your family, and I assume that means from myself as well.
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It still puts everything into sharp focus. The kind of life he used to have, the one he took for granted. All of it's gone now, but the fragments are there, and he's never been good at glueing things together.
He knows he has Castiel's gratitude. But...he's not going to lie, and he probably can't, but it still sends bolts of cold down his (their) spine, just hearing his voice.]
I don't know! Just-- alright, you, at least I'm used to you! She's-- she's different and I can't... I can't do this again.
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But that isn't what makes Jimmy special. He gave himself, wholly and truly, to protect his daughter. Given his fondness for Dean Winchester, it's a trait he truly finds admirable. He's honored to be harbored within Jimmy. Honored to share his face.
Which doesn't mean he has the capability to give Jimmy what he's asking.]
With or without your permission, I refuse to take her.
[It's a statement of fact. Regrettable, but his sense of right and wrong is more clearly defined now that he's spent time with humanity. There is absolutely no way he would consider Claire as an alternative.]
Even if I were to vacate you permanently, surely you must know it would not stop you from being hunted. You're a target simply because I chose to reside in you. They'll kill you for revenge, or because they think it will limit my interference.
oops
He doesn't know what's changed, exactly. Probably time on the outside. Probably the company he keeps. There's a difference, he's pretty sure. He used to be so distant. And he's still a comet. Will still burn him up, probably without meaning to. That's what comets do, after all.
He's gotten used to bridges that won't be crossed. But part of him still wishes he wasn't. Probably always will.
There's a lot of probably's these days.]
I know, okay , I was there the last time. But can't we just-- I don't know, time share on this? Or something? I don't know.
My bad, dude! Went to fix the spelling, broke the html and the thread flow. /Facepalm
But he doesn't. Staying away isn't an option, not anymore. If he were being... really and truly honest, he could probably carry on without a vessel. Most of his troubles lay in heaven, now. It's his fondness for Earth, for humanity, that leaves him refusing to accept it as an option. Relinquishing hold on his vessel would mean cutting all of his ties. Giving up emotion, sunlight, brothels and alcohol and streets and parks and people. To Sam, to Bobby Singer, and most especially, to Dean. That simply isn't an option he's willing to consider.]
A... Time share?
[That actually manages to trip him up, and his tone changes from regretful to puzzled. He searches his mind for a definition beyond the obvious. Time share. Where multiple people own land. Land, he's assuming, in this case, would be Jimmy's body.
That's... unrealistic, but not entirely unfeasible, given the right precautions.]
You're aware you wouldn't be able to return to your family without presenting a danger to them? They would once again be targeted, and I don't have the capability to keep a constant monitor on them.
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just a heads up, but i'm probably off to sleep after this tag
It's cool, homes! Not a bad idea for me, either. /Nocturnal
...i lied have one extra /also nocturnal
Sweeeeet
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hello again
Y helo there.
tagging from a new tablet
/Thumbsup
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[He is so tired of dealing with Angels.]
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[Look at this smile, Jimmy. Doesn't he seem like such a great guy?]
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[People who Cas had dealings with are usually Angels, who he doesn't like much, and Demons, who he likes less. So he's not giving you where he's from. At all.]
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Don't you know that not just anyone can host an angel? We're not like demons, you know. We won't accept just any old lump of rotting, putrid meat. You're special, Jimmy Novak, and you were born especially for Castiel's purposes, whether you want it or not.
[)8 you make Lucifer so sad with your mistrust.]
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Uh... Hey. It's not as bad as it seems.
[Usually.]
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[Well, he hasn't spoken to you since he sort of died, so he's mildly worried. Make that very worried.]
What's that supposed to mean?
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The games. I mean, sometimes they can be... not... terrible.
[Not helping, Sam.]
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Where's Cas?
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[He's not frustrated with you, Jimmy, just this whole situation. He doesn't know what to do with you - he wants to return you to your family, wherever they are, but you're a vessel. To the demons, that's public enemy number 2 - with number 1 being the Winchesters themselves.
He sighs before speaking.]
What's the last thing you remember?
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Hi, Jimmy.
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Do I know you?
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[She sits down next to him, folding her hands in her lap.] But I get where you're coming from. Missing being home, with your family? I know what that's like. I was human, once, for a while. I'd give anything if I could have my parents back again. Even for a little while.
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