Voicetest

[moveslikejaeger]

Vell, scmott guy, hyu tinks hyu gots vat it takes to control a Jaeger? Hyu iz schmott, I give you dot, but hyu don't effen gots a nize-

Hokay, I suppose dot iz a nize hat. Und so iz dot vun. Und- Vait a minute! Hyu mean to say hyu haff five hats? Dot iz just... Now hyu is just schowink uff!

Comments

oh hey what is this? :D

[moves_like_jaeger]

Hoy! Hy tink Hy am jealous! Hyu say dot guy who plays hyu haz got FIVE hats?

Und I thought Hy was doink good mit mine hevink two...

omg what this is i can't even

[moveslikejaeger]

Ya, he got dem all offer de place! He say he gots more ven he vere younger, but he lose dem. Lose dem! How could anyvun be so irresponsible wit dem hats, I ask hyu?

[moves_like_jaeger]

LOSE DEM?!

Brodder, vat kind of guy is hyu in de headspace of? Hy tink Hy am worried now. If dis guy can't take care of HIZ hats, vat about yours, Hy say?

After all de vork ve vent trough to get it, too!

[moveslikejaeger]

Hy know! Hy tink, mebbe he lose his own head next. Mebbe Hy help him mit dot, ya? Den, I no haff to vorry about him losing vat's mine.

Or vat's ours. How dot supposed to vork, henyvay?

[moves_like_jaeger]

Ya, hyu help him mit dot, und den ve dun heff to vorry about it!

Hy dun know, but hey, Hy'm goot mit it beink ours, ya?

[moveslikejaeger]

Now, ve look tvize az goot, ya? All de vimminz vill be unable to rezist uz!

Not dot dey could before, uv courze.

[sugardoom]

You know, at the game I currently call home, there's an ingenious device that allows you to replicate and create new hats forever and for a very reasonable price. Given that the in-game currency is collected through slaughter, it should be right up your alley. As a jager, I mean.

[moveslikejaeger]

Dot's fonny, dot's exzectly vhere de schmott guy be vanting to send me. Hehe, mebbe he not so schtupid after all! He got dis whole ting planned out mit mine land, noting but ruined houses and fire fur miles... sigh, it reminds me uv de goot ol' days...

[sugardoom]

Ah, yes! That certainly sounds like somewhere a Jaeger would be right at home. Has he decided on your consorts, yet? I can't imagine they'll be too pleased about the arrangements.

[moveslikejaeger]

Nooooo, not really. He vants zumting equally... er... "unpleazant," dough. He sez skeletons, but Hy say, what so unpleazant about skeletons?

[sugardoom]

Well, I have rather large white spiders, and I think Aunt Lucrezia is trying for some amalgamation of hawk wasps and trapdoor spiders and the pure stuff nightmares are made of, so you'd have good company.

Sleipnir just has ponies.

[moveslikejaeger]

De schmott guy likes schpiders, he tinks hyu iz beink silly. Aldough, ee iz vary about my beink in de same place az Miz Lucrezia, especially eff Miz Agatha iz not around. She iz a Heterodyne, after all, effen eff it only through marriage.

Und, Miz Agathat probably vould not be happy to see her, either.

[sugardoom]

Oh, no, make no mistake! I quite like my spiders. They're a little scatterbrained but they mean well.

And... ah. Well. You wouldn't have to obey her, not really. Isn't that the whole point with you jaegers? You do things out of loyalty and love rather than... you know... mind control?

At any rate, I suppose Billsprite can step in if things get out of hand.

[moveslikejaeger]

Ho! Vell, so long as hyu not skwishink dem, Hy tink he von't make a fuss. He fusses offer de silliest uv tings. Vorry, vorry, vorry, dot's all he does. Hy tink he just needs a gorl.

Yes, but, ven all hyu haz iz a schtick... Actually, Hy can tink uv a a lot uv tings Hy can do mit ein schtick. Plus, mebbe Hy can do de sottle ting und schpy fur ven Miz Agatha arrives!

Ooh, iz Meester Bill gonna be dere too?

[sugardoom]

I doubt anyone squish these without a concentrated effort, they're about two feet long without the legs.

And yes! Bill is already there, sort of. He's my Sprite. Sort of a spirit guide game abstraction. I got him by accident when I threw a book at the Sprite I'd already prototyped.

I honestly don't know why I thought the Hot Pipes were a good choice for that. But now Bill gets an absolutely smashing kilt, so I suppose it all works out?

[moveslikejaeger]

[Just give him a moment to consider the idea of Bill Heterodyne in a kilt. Hmmm, yeah, he can dig it.]

Hy cen't imagine henyvun complains too much about dot. Und, ve do mees Meester Bill, he vas such a goot boy. It vould be nize to see him again, effen eff he iz not de real Meester Bill. Dem stories iz alvays goot fur a laugh.

[waspyourface]

My, my, a jager! I haven't seen one of you around here before!

Lovely to meet you, darling~

[moveslikejaeger]

Hoy! Hy vas just talkink about hyu!

...Hyu iz not in Miz Agatha's head. Vell, dot's a goot ting, ya?

[waspyourface]

[Boy she'd heard some jagers talk nonsense, but this one took the cake.]

I haven't the slightest clue who "Miz" Agatha is, nor what I would be doing in her head.

[Whoops Maxim, you are so much further on the timeline than she is.]

[moveslikejaeger]

[Oh dear. Let's just hope he doesn't run his mouth and ruin everything]

Oh, dot's easy! Miz Agatha iz hyu dotter, und hyu vas in her head because de Sturmking put hyu dere!

[Whoops, too late!]

[waspyourface]

[MAXIM NO. MAXIM STOP. MAXIM DON'T.]

I have... I have a daughter?

Aaronev did what?

[Whoops she's pissed now. I don't think that was the reaction you were intending. She might just grab you roughly by the collar.]

What are you talking about? Is this your idea of a joke?

[moveslikejaeger]

[He puts up no resistance as she grabs him, but his smile becomes a little less friendly. She's hardly any threat to him, but he doesn't appreciate being grabbed]

Hyu do, und she iz a lovely gorl. Beautiful like her mama, but schpunky like Meester Bill. We Jaegers iz verra fond uv her, so, schould she schow hup, Hy hope hyu no cause her trouble, ya?

Iz no joke. Hy iz fozzy on de details uv de brain tingy, coz ve vos busy trying to rescue Miz Agatha, but hyu iz dere, in her pretty leetle head, cauzing all sorts uv trouble. Iz nobody too happy about dot.

[waspyourface]

Of course she's lovely! Any daughter of mine is bound to be!

[Is that... defensive? It might be.]

Why would I cause her trouble? Aside from the normal healthy fun. Honestly I'm very insulted by these accusations.

There's no way to plant a second consciousness in an already occupied body. Trust me. I've tried. What you're suggesting is impossible.

[moveslikejaeger]

Uv course. [He just gives her a large, fangy grin]

Ho? Iz dot so? So mebbe Hy vas mistaken, ya? Ve Jaegers, ve dunno much about hyu sparky business.

[waspyourface]

True, but I don't think something like that is bound to be so easily misinterpreted.

[Interesting... very interesting. Did she find some way to perfect simultaneous consciousness existence in the future? Clearly this jager was from her future timeline, if she has a daughter.]

Who knows? We are obviously not from the same point in time. How old is my daughter?]

[itsbraveanditburns]

Holy shit, are you a real Jagermonster? Theo's told me about you guys. You all sound pretty cool.

[moveslikejaeger]

Hyu Meester Theo vun schmot guy! Yes, Hy iz de real ting, und ve iz verra, verra cool.

Um, dot's a goot ting, right?

[itsbraveanditburns]

That's a really great thing!

I hope you come and play in our game, it would be really fucking awesome. And yeah, Theo is really smart!

[moveslikejaeger]

De schmott guy mit de head haz it all planned, so iz verra likely dot Hy vill. Iz just up to de odda schmott guys in charge uv de game, now.

(Hy iz not vorried.)

[itsbraveanditburns]

Oh good. Everyone, even the more experienced players, are just kind of fucking around, trying to figure out what the hell we're supposed to do here besides kill a lot of underlings and do quests for our consorts, so you'd be on even ground with the rest of us, I think.

And if everything I've been told about Jagermonsters is true, you'd probably be REALLY good at dealing with underlings.