On considering jarjammed

[waspyourface]

Must you actually put me in a game? I'm having plenty of fun all by myself (and with the other muses in here). I don't need you to ship me off to some convoluted game to "keep me busy". I can keep myself busy. I don't owe you anything.

I have my own projects to work on, you know! I have no desire to help a bunch of stupid random people beat a video game. I have wasps to grow! Machines to build! People to harass! Sex to have!

I don't have a say in the matter you say?

Wow, rude.

Comments

[sugardoom]

[NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

I mean]

Aunt Lucrezia?

[itsbraveanditburns]

Oh my fucking god, Theo, is this the aunt you talked about?

[sugardoom]

Yyyyyyyes.

[waspyourface]

Has my darling nephew been talking about me? How flattering! All terrible things, I'm sure. Serpentina was always spreading lies about me.

But who are you, then?

[Nope that smile isn't at all predatory what are you talking about.]

[itsbraveanditburns]

She kind of reminds me of GLaDOS, except the whole having sex thing.

[itsbraveanditburns]

Karkat Vantas. The Human Karkat. There's two of us--well, unless you count the back-up on the hard drive. Basically, weird multiverse alternate universe bullshit. I'm the one that's younger and also not a troll.

[sugardoom]

Riiiight. GLaDOS wouldn't be doing much of that, I assume.

The similarity is fairly striking, though. I mean, you've read the books, you would know.

[waspyourface]

[Yyyyyeeeaahhhh ok. Sure. Um. That's way too many "verse"s for her taste.]

Lucrezia Mongfish. But I'm sure you knew that already. I'm the only one. Just me: perfect, unique me.

[Yes, make the conversation all about you, Lu. Clearly best solution.]

[friendlypuellus]

[Huh.]

At least there's making the most of it ma'am? I'd certainly prefer to be elsewhere but you do have a good chance for seeing interesting places and people. And non-people for that matter!

[waspyourface]

[But yes though.]

Goodness! Theopholus? Can that really be you?

Last I saw you, you were still tiny, fat, and drooling! When did you grow up?

[And when did you get handsome?]

[itsbraveanditburns]

Yeah, I read about you in Theo's books. Well, not the Iron Sheik one. But the others.

[You are not going to mention how one of those books had porn about you in it. What was Theo even doing with a book that had porn with his aunt in?]

[sugardoom]

[Lu

Lu stop

Lu he is your nephew

No]

Well, I suppose that all depends on your arbitrary definition of adulthood and what it means to reach it. Possibly I grew up when I either started or completed puberty. Or when I got married. Or when I consummated that marriage.

Take your pick?

[waspyourface]

[Too bad. The Iron Sheik is one of the best ones.]

Oh did you? Which stories? I was probably the villain, wasn't I?

[She looks so upset about that prospect. Not.

She's sure she doesn't know. But she wouldn't complain too much about knowing it existed. What can she say? She's hot stuff. Who wouldn't want to own porn about her?]

[itsbraveanditburns]

Yeah, well.

[Oh god, he is having terrible visions of introducing this woman to GLaDOS. It is either going to be really good or really bad and he has no idea which.]

[waspyourface]

I assure you I can make the best of any situation, darling.

[Oh my god did you just call her "ma'am"? That's funny. You're funny.]

Are you already in this absurd game, then?

[sugardoom]

[Probably both.

Really good because they might fight to the death and that would be pretty cool.

Really bad because they might become best friends and fall in love and rule the world and

yeah

sob]

I think it's agreed that the two of them should never meet?

[waspyourface]

[Lu yes]

[Theo sweetie. What. What are you doing.]

I was... more referring to when you got tall. And started talking. And grew sideburns.

[Very nice sideburns, she might add.]

[itsbraveanditburns]

You were sort of a nice villain? I mean, shit, a friendly one. To, um, Bill, anyway.

[itsbraveanditburns]

Yes.

I think so.

[sugardoom]

[Lu NO]

Ah!

I reached my current height at sixteen, started talking at two, and have been working on the sideburns since eighteen.

I hope that cleared things up for you.

[friendlypuellus]

[He calls GLaDOS miss and he has more then a few less the kind thoughts for her. It's just how he's been raised]

Well that's good! Having the right attitude is good at times like this.

And yes. Roughly a month or so? Though time is a bit foggy in there, so that's more a guess.

[waspyourface]

Well that's no fun! [pout] I like to think that I'm fun more than friendly. Friendly just sounds so... harmless.

[And Lu is definitely not that.]

[itsbraveanditburns]

Um, no, you weren't harmless. I meant more friendly as, fuck, you know.

Friendly.

[waspyourface]

[...Theo you can't be serious.]

[My god you are.]

Darling I was... nevermind. Are you always this literal?

[sugardoom]

You asked a question, and I answered it to the best of my ability. I fail to see what the problem is with that.

[He's still a Mongfish, you know.

He's bad a trolling, but he'll troll all the same, in his own doofy way.

Because.

Mongfish sass.]