dear_mun | Homeless and looking, maybe considering somarium

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canon: kuroshitsuji (black butler)

Homeless and looking, maybe considering somarium

Greetings, Miss Mun!!

Isn't it a lovely day? Yes, I know it's raining but it's still lovely and rain is good for many things. And we are safe and warm here!

Ah, I'm really glad to see you again! It hasn't been that long but I can see many things have changed, are you sure we will be all right here? Will I be able to meet Ciel? I'm worried about him, please, Miss Mun, try to find a place where I can be with him, yes? Don't be afraid, I'm sure we will do fine! Why don't you look at that place I was in before once more? I know we didn't do that well, but things are different now for both of us and I'm confident you can do it!

Don't worry, I'll be with you the whole time, we can do it!

[And if things get bad she has two rapiers ready for use and at easy reach, but she won't say that aloud.]

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L-Lizzie?!

[LE GASP.]

Brother?! Are you here as well?

[Hope you're ready for your little sister to run to you and demand a hug, Edward.]

I'm so happy to see you here! I was worried about how you would be, are mother and father here as well?

[This is your Fiancee... staring at you as if he's seen a ghost. Well... he hasn't seen you in...

Just about a year.]

...Lizzie?

[She saw you just a moment ago, of course, that was at home, here... It's harder for her to know how long has it been. But be it a week or a year, you are getting a senior hug, Lord Phantomhive. As strong and clingy as always, though maybe slightly more desperate than usually.]

Ciel!! You're really still here!

--!! [Ok. It's been a while. He's forgotten jsut how strong she is. crush-the-air-from-his-lung strong.]

O-of course I'm still here. [Okay, talking's hard] The better question is, what're you doing here?

What I'm doing here? I'm going back with you, of course!

[What else would she be doing here? And still not letting go, do you have any idea how scared she got when you said you wouldn't go with them? Even if she was knocked unconscious, those weren't happy dreams at all.]

[No, he has no idea, as he hasn't been there.]

[All of his normal arguements seems to just... fail him right now. if his arms weren't pinned, he might... he might actually return the embrace.]

...Are you sure that's what you want?

I'm sure, why wouldn't I be?

[Okay, okay, she let's go to look at his face. The eternal smile isn't in place, instead there's a worried expression. Why does he always do that? Trying to go on his own, yet when she was in danger he risked his own life for her, he went back to her side, even if that left them trapped in that sinking ship, even if adults tried to stop him. Why can he do that and not understand that she would do it as well for him?]

I want to be with you Ciel, I don't care where is it. Do you not want me there?

That's not it. [Ever serious, as always. But he looks less scowling, and more... it's hard to pinpoint.] But you rememebr how this plce is, don't you? You can't chose when you go back, or if you go back at all.

I know. I remember it.

[Now that she's here, at least, she certainly didn't remember it back home. It was nothing but a fleeting dream.]

But I know other things as well. I know that if it was me trapped there you would throw away everything and come for me, and then, together, we would find a way out. So I want to go back, with you and then we will find a way to make it work, even if we can't choose when to return. The only place I want to ever be is right besides you, no matter how horrible the place we are in is.

[No matter if there are zombies trying to devour them, or water sinking the ship with them trapped inside of it. So long as she can hold his hand and help him, protect him, everything else will be fine.]

_{[Totally ready for that hug. If Elizabeth Middleford gives strong hugs, Edward gives just as tight embraces. When she finds her arms around him he doesn't hesitate to pick her up and squeeze her to himself.

He missed you, okay? You're his little sister.]}

They aren't here, I'm afraid, but they'll be okay. They're both strong, you know how mother and father are. _{[Squeezing sob. Never ever letting go.]} I'm so glad you're safe. I've been praying to see you again and those prayers have finally been answered.

[He eyes her strangely. There's something about her now that he doesn't recognize. Is it what Edward said before...?]

... You've changed.

[Strong hugs run in the family, it's the best way to show affection after all. And to make sure the other is fine and breathing and warm, just as they should always be. She tenses in his arms at the news that her parents aren't here after all either, but it's okay, she nods while burying her face in his chest. They are strong, the strongest people she knows and she's sure they will be fine, the ones in trouble are the ones that shall oppose them both or anger them. Just as she doesn't have to worry about Edward, but... She's just so glad to not be alone, even if Ciel is there, it's hard to be apart from her family.]

I'm so sorry, brother! I should have been there when you arrived, I should have stayed and be able to welcome you, but things happened and I had to leave and now you have been there alone without any of us... You even had to spend Christmas without us! I'm so sorry I'm late, but I'll get there, definitively.

Forgive me for not being there with you earlier.

[She notices those eyes, he doesn't know yet of her non-cute face but it doesn't click in her mind and even if it did, she still wishes to be cute for him. She wants him to love her and want her as his wife rather than be scared of her. So, obviously, those eyes and that comment make her a bit nervous.]

E-Eh?? No... No! I haven't changed, I'm the same as always! I just want to be with you!

[She didn't say or do anything scary, did she?]

[He jumps a little] I didn't mean-- [what didn't he mean? Now he's confused]

[sigh] Its fine. You don't have to get so worked up.

_{[A hand moves to cradle her head when she buries her face into his chest. It's comforting, to feel her against him like this. It's how it should be - sister and brother together and reunited again. It had been painful to spend Christmas without her, but spending it at the Nightray manor had helped lessen the sting. Even so, nothing could come close to the company of family, and with a family like the Middleford's who placed the importance of family above any other, it was hardwired into Edward's very being.]}

No need to apologize, but if you insist you're forgiven. _{[He's just so happy she's here. He'd forgive her of anything. There's nothing his sister can do wrong in his eyes.]} I should apologize - I won't be able to provide you with the luxuries we both had back home.

It's fine... Is it really fine? You're not angry? Or disgusted?

[She's still cute for him, right?]

Huh?! [cue mass confusion] Why would you think that?

[She should let go. She's a young lady, she should let him go and be proper, but... Even if she just saw him moments ago at the ship, here she remembers the time she spent without him or her parents. She did her best to be strong back then, she had Ciel after all! But... God, she's so relieved to know that Edward will be there, it just makes her feel that everything will be perfectly fine. Together with two of the three men that are the most important and loved for her. Now that she knows the relief of knowing that he will be there, she just can't let go, what if he vanishes right when she does?]

It's fine.

[She shakes her head a bit as he mentions the lack of luxuries. It will be hard but...]

I don't care. Even if Paula neither our other servants will be there, even if we have to live in a small house. If we all are together I won't care. We will make it work, we can't let something like this defeat us, right? Together with Ciel and Sebastian, the four of us can do it, even without luxuries. So long as we are together, we have gone through worse, right?

[It's a bit scary, she can't deny it and she will miss many things. But she has the most important things already. With her brother and Ciel, just this can be more than enough. She certainly wouldn't change them for all the treasures and luxuries in the world.]

You said I had changed...

[What if the change is something you don't like, Ciel? It could be!]

Changing isn't bad, Lizzie. If you always stay the same, what is there to live for?

But I don't want to change into something you don't like.

[It's kind of the whole issue with being cute and sweet. He said he liked that and didn't like how her mother was, scary and strong. Even if she decided to become a wife that could protect him, she still wants to be a wife that he can protect.]

[You have reaaaally lost him this time]

How will you know what I like or don't like? Don't be something else just because it's what you think I'd prefer. [he scoffs a little] Then again, you never listen to what I say anyway.

I listen to what you say! You said you didn't want a strong wife, because it scares you! I don't want to change into someone you won't want as your wife.

[But it's too late for that. She already is that way, still... He saw her, he saw her uncute side but still seemed to care... Of course, though, she can't really think that everything is fine, the situation they were in wasn't one to get into a quarrel, was it? And he never answered, he never said he wouldn't hate her or take her as his wife regardless of w she was. And this Ciel doesn't know yet, so...

It's indeed better to be cute after all.]

Huh? [Where is all of THIS coming from. Oh, sure, Edward gave him a breif overview of what he missed... but there were lots of details he coudln't relay.]

[He sighs. she cna be so aggrivating. Are all girls this way? he suspects so.] I said it ebfore, didn't I? 'If you always stay the same, what is there to live for?' I was a child when I said that.

So you don't think that anymore? What kind of wife do you want?

[It's a valid question, one she had never made but she wants to know. It's hard to know with Ciel at times, he always acts as if all she does is bother him and she can't help to hesitate at things he says. Is he saying it so she will be happy and shut up or is he really being honest? There are things that she knows for sure now, but there are still many things she can't be sure about.]

[Pause] I hadn't given it much thought, actually...

[No, forget it. It's not something he needs to think about. He shakes his head] It doesn't matter, I could easily change my mind again. Besides. [he sobers, looks her straight in the eye, hoping, that this will finally get it through her head... without lying. He hates lying to her.]

On the day I marry someone, that someone will be you, no matter what. I don't want anyone else.

[No matter what, it will be her. He doesn't want anyone else... She smiles, it's reassuring, how could it not be? No matter if she's scary or not, if she's cute or not, he will take her as his wife. Was that what he was going to say back then? "I would never break the engagement"?]

Thank you, Ciel.

[She smiles, reassured.

But, Ciel, there's a difference between a wife taken because it was decided so and you want to uphold that arrangement, and one taken because she makes you happy. And yet they aren't exclusive of each other. A wife for him to protect, a wife that can protect him, a wife that will support and shield as needed, a wife that will make him proud and happy. It's not that much to ask for to be able to be that way, is it?

His words are reassuring... Yet they also feel dismissive. If he hasn't given it even a bit of thought, doesn't that mean that he just doesn't care? She could be the worst wife in the world and he would still take her. It's reassuring, but that's all it is.]

What are you thanking me for?

Shouldn't I thank you?

I guess it's not that you shouldn't, just that I don't think I've said anything that really deserves an expression of gratitude.

It's not only my decision after all, is it? It's yours, too.

[Saying that only makes his previous words feel even more dismissive. But Lizzie keeps a smile in her face, giggling a bit even. Silly Ciel, her decision has been made for longer than what you could expect.]

I only want you as my husband, no matter where you go or what you do or how you look. I won't accept anyone else. The kind of husband that I wish for, is the kind of husband that you will be.

[Sorry, Lizzie. Ciel doesn't mean to be terrible. He's just not any good at these things. Even when he tries, it goes badly. But... hearing her say those things... when did she become so... ]

Then I'm very lucky. [And he tries a smile on. Only a little one. But it's just for her.]

[That makes her smile even more. If he only could understand how happy that makes her, even if it's a small smile, even if it's one for her, the knowledge that she has been able to make him even a bit happy. She throws herself to his arms again... Or rather going to hug him again.]

I'm very lucky as well, Ciel! And I'm happy to know that I'll be with you soon again. How long was I gone?

[It's hard to know how long it was in her current position, okay.]

[ --ah, ok, another hug. He's a little more prepared this time. He's glad she wont' be able to see the smile slip off his face.]

It's been a year, now.

[She freezes at that... One whole year? She had abandoned him for one whole year? She knew it had been a long time but... She didn't expect it to be that long. Her arms hug him even more tightly, tears threatening to spill, she had failed him, she had been unable to be with him. Once again he had been forced to be alone, without his family there. She knows she had no power over it... But she still feels guilty.

It won't happen again. She will find a way to make sure of it. Even if this Ciel hasn't seen her uncute side yet, even if it's better to be cute... She won't allow anything or anyone to do anything to him.]

I'm sorry. Even if I know I had no say over it, I'm sorry you had to be alone, I really wanted to be with you. But it won't happen again, I won't abandon you ever again. I'm sorry.... Is Sebastian still there?

[he just sighs, though it makes no sound, as she's practically squeazing the life out of him. But, he reaches up and gently pats her on the back]

It's fine. You don't need to worry about me. Sebastian has been here the whole time. [except for those two weeks, but he returned soon enough...] ... [This is not eays for him to admit, and thank goodness she's not looking, because his cheeks are a litle flushed.] I... missed you.

Even so... Just with Sebastian it's not enough! It's just like things were back then, it shouldn't be ever like that again. I don't want you to be alone like that again!

[She whines but she doesn't mind it. It's really horrible, even if she knows that if Ciel is with Sebastian she shouldn't worry, that he will be fine. She still wants to be there with and for him.

Her grip loosens in small and brief surprise when he says that. He missed her. It's... It may be the first time she heard him say that in a long while. It makes her happy and angry, happy because she was missed, angry because he missed her, because she wasn't there with him.]

I'll be there soon. I promise and everything will be fine!

_{[If there's any individual who is near obsessed with what is proper it's Edward Middleford. Honor, the rules of society and the upper class have defined his outlook and behaviour into what it is today, but if there's one individual who can make him bend the rules it's his darling little sister. While he knows he should let go, just as much as she should, he doesn't care to just yet.]}

You're certainly right. There's nothing wrong with living a humble lifestyle. It will be difficult, but we'll manage.

_{[He's the one to break the embrace then, but he doesn't stray far, kneeling as he takes her face in his hands, smoothing soft cheeks gently with his thumbs.]}

You'll have to learn how to dress yourself and secure your shoes. I can't guarantee I'll be very good at it, but I'll help you with your hair. _{[Because really, she did have a lot of it and in all honesty, he'd been recruited to play dress up before with her when they were much younger.]} We'll keep up with your training as well. We'll do our best to make mother and father proud.

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Homeless and looking, maybe considering somarium

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Sorry for the late ;A;/