It's not like I'm lonely or anything, baka.

[my_own_trope]

My, my; it certainly does seem like drone seasons, doesn't it, human?



We're going to need a net.

Make it a big one.

Comments

[eradiconsteve]

[He looks silently hopeful in the corner, clutching a data pad.]

[my_own_trope]

[If Starscream has target lock, you can bet your metal buns, he's got them on yours]

...

[This is... surprisingly not as hostile as he was expecting.]

[...]

Yes? What are you looking at?

[eradiconsteve]

C-commander! [Oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh he noticed me!]

I... uhr. Report. I have one. For you. [Holds out the data pad shyly]

[my_own_trope]

[Ker-snatch!]

What exactly am I looking at here, drone?

[Because out of context sensitive data can...lead to some very unpleasant results. And the last time he skimmed something, he ended up binarily bonded to 5 clones. Not really an experience he's looking to repeat at this time.]

[eradiconsteve]

[Hovers helpfully over his shoulder]

It's a report on the new energon mine we just open-

[No it's not- its a page from Steve's personal diary describing Starscream's many unique...assets.]

!!

Wrong data pad! [He scrambles to search for the correct one and thrusts it into the Commander's hands as soon as he finds it. How mortifying!]

[my_own_trope]

This doesn't look like a repor---

[That's because it isn't a report, Starscream.]

... [...]

[He's never... This has never happened to him before. And while yes, he is the most attractive 'Con on the Nemesis (when you have a taste for something a little more sophisticated than cheap thrills, red paint, and wheels) he's never been described with quite... that amount of detail.]

Er. [/awkward fist cough. As a robot fights off a remission of side-eye and even more awkwardly... coughs.]

Where did you get this? [What new data file? Starscream's holding the other pad limply in one hand as if he's forgotten all about it already.]
Because if this is Soundwave's I swear...

[eradiconsteve]

[Steve can't even speak for a few minutes. This is the worst thing that's ever happened to him. Ever. Even worse than the time he got his leg stuck in a trash compactor and someone wouldn't stop mindlessly pressing the crush button.

But he can't get Soundwave in trouble for his mistake. That wouldn't be fair.]

...I-it's... I... I wrote it.

[my_own_trope]

[That someone may or may not have been Starscream who may or may not have been trying to figure out what exactly that button on the remote did, once and for all.]













... Come again?
Speak up!

[eradiconsteve]

[Shuffle]

I wrote it. Commander.

[sweet_riiiiims]

Might need to make it bigger in your case.

[my_own_trope]

And what's that supposed to mean?

[madetodie]

[Sue is just doing guard duty, like he is supposed to.

Yup just walking by this doorway here while on patrol.]

[my_own_trope]

You there! Drone. Get over here.

[madetodie]

[Uh oh, it's Commander Starscream, where is Steve for moments like this? Unless... this could be his big break, sometimes Starscream's tasks amount to suicide missions.]

Sir.

[He moves over to stand in front of and salute the Second in Command.]

[my_own_trope]

[What is this? Respect? Respect and absolutely no one trying to shoot him?
/heeby jeebies
He'll take 12!]

Tell me your qualifications.

[madetodie]

Sir, hall guard, room guard, scouting party, attack squad, sir.

[canonfodder]

[He looks over for a mere moment, giving a shrug before walking over.]

[my_own_trope]

[Yes. Good. Come to daddy.]

Whatever your current duty is, you can forget it.

You're getting reassigned.

[canonfodder]

[Oh wonderful. He has to actually do something now. Great. He should have known better. It's Wednesday after all.]

Yes, Commander Starscream.

[No chance Sue can get him out of this one, is there.]

[my_own_trope]

Follow me. [And off Starscream goes, not even bothering to check behind him. He knows he'll be followed. You know, or else.]

[Take my hand and join me on this magical adventure of long walks underneath the beach and starvation~~. Also; Sue? Drones have names? They have personality? LOL pull the other one. It has bells on it.]

[canonfodder]

[Well, he's already calculating the number of ways this can go wrong. It's pretty high odds. Like upper 3/4ths. At least 80%.]

Soundwave told me to report to him for schedule changes, sir.

[my_own_trope]

[Look at it this way: in the very rare event that things DON'T go wrong, it'll be like winning the lottery. Lucky you! \o/]

Gah. [Stop cockblocking all his kidnapping attempts, Soundwave!]

And I'm telling you not to. I outrank him, after all.

[canonfodder]

[It's -SOUNDWAVE-. It's his job.]

Yes sir. What did you need me to do?

[Please make it something easy. He has a reputation to keep.]

[nomnomformers]

[Indeed.

A lovely season if you ask this guy.

Hi, Starscream. you look delicious today.]

[my_own_trope]

[THIS IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT HE WANTED.

Aaaand out come the guns.]

[nomnomformers]

[Come on, he just want to hug you.
With his teeth.

Take it like a man.

Brb flying in your direction, trying to avoid the shots]

[my_own_trope]

[You know how sometimes a Transformer actually DOESN'T have ridiculously terrible aim? Yeah, today is not one of those days, and each of Starscream's shots go wide. As is tradition.]

Ahhhh. No. No. No. No. GET BACK.

[He knows he looks delicious, but this is taking things a little far...]

[nomnomformers]

[Performance issues, Starscream? We all had one of those days.

On the bright side, this will be the last time it happens to you.

He would like to start chweing on yoru heels.]

[my_own_trope]

SADASHFKDFBVJHASGDYUGFASHGHGASDH!!!!!!

[Starscream would like that his mad flailing and furious attempts at bashing his heel against the ground land him a critical hit, thanks. And if it's all the same to you, now would be a great time to have your own performance issue. Like maybe a blue screen of death. Yeah. Yeah that would be awesome.]

[nomnomformers]

[Can't you just laid there and not move instead? I would make things easier and faster. For the scraplet, that's it.

He's not going to have an aneurysm for you entertainment, Starscrema, sorry to disappoint. But all that firs flailing managed to make him hit the floor, head down. That hurt.

He's not happy.]

[miscalibrated]

A net?!

[C'mon Starscream most of the drones will probably still do what you say (unless they're the kind that whip out the guns immediately), isn't a net a bit... overblown?]

[my_own_trope]

[To be perfectly honest he'd kind of assumed he'd already killed all of those guys off, and only the trigger happy vehicons were left. That said, he's not one to look a gift mech in the mouth... or look very hard at anything at all for that matter...]

It won't be necessary if you come quietly.

[miscalibrated]

[Psych's not the type to tell an officer no... Or an ex-officer, even. But something about this doesn't seem... right.]

With, er, all due respect, sir... where are we going?

[Because she's one of those Vehicons who doesn't get off the Nemesis much, and she kind of likes it that way.]

[my_own_trope]

[Because Starscream is a shining example of things that never go wrong. Ever.

And also because he cares so much about the hopes, dreams, and aspirations of the canon fodder.]

This is a highly sensitive and covert mission.

[We're running away together. It's going to be awesome. All the starvation you could ever want! It'll so wonder for one's figure!]

[deathlyhugs]

A net.

[my_own_trope]

[Cyclonus what are you doing here, you aren't a drone.
Still, he will gladly accept you into his fold.
If you could just step this way into his net, please.]

Well... when you say it like that.

[deathlyhugs]

[his mun sent him in he's not happy either

and no he's not budging. Bc]

A net, Starscream. What are you trying to catch?

[my_own_trope]

[Starscream explains a brilliant plan that pretty much boils down to:]

1. Find Drones
2. Kidnap Army
3. ???
4. Profit!

[redshirtrobot]

[Fracas is just going to. Very quietly try to sneak past on the way to the engine room.

Don't mind him, this isn't the drone you're looking for...]

[my_own_trope]

[Oh but he is. Starscream wants ALL the canon fodder~~]

And where do you think you're going?

[redshirtrobot]

[Oh dear. Freezing in surprise like a boss a startled rabbit.]

The engine room, sir. I have work... I should do.

[my_own_trope]

You do have work you should be doing. Mine.

You're being reassigned.

[redshirtrobot]

Ah, sir. With all due respect, you are Commander Starscream, one of the most capable Decepticon officers, and I am just... a lowly drone.

Surely I am not capable of completing your tasks adequately to suit your position.