Regarding Her Recent Application sent to wishingscales

[sallynooksucker]

CONGRATULATIONS, PRINCESS.
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
YOU SPENT THE LAST TWO WEEKS SITTING AROUND AND WRITING OUT AN APPLICATION TO SEND ME TO A GAME.
WHICH, MIGHT I ADD, I COULD EASILY JUST TELL YOU HOW THE GAME GOES.
YOU SEND ME TO IT, I MEET A BUNCH OF PEOPLE I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT, SHIT GOES DOWN, I MAKE SO-CALLED FRIENDS, SOME SO-CALLED FRIENDS LEAVE, I GET DEPRESSED BECAUSE YOU FOUND A REASON TO MAKE ME ATTACHED TO SOMEONE.
SPOILER ALERT: IT DOESN'T END WELL.
SO WOULD YOU CARE TO INDULGE ME WITH YOUR REASONING AS TO WHY SENDING ME TO A WORLD WHERE THE MOON IS FALLING SOUNDED LIKE A GOOD IDEA.
NO, NO, I'M TOTALLY COOL WITH YOUR SUDDEN CONFIDENCE IN MY KNOWLEDGE OF ABNORMAL ASTRONOMICAL PHENOMENA.
REALLY. I'M SO FUCKING CHARMED. I NEVER KNEW YOU HAD SUCH FAITH IN A GIRL WHO CAN'T EVEN PILOT A METEOR THROUGH SPACE. REALLY. IT'S A GREAT TO SEE THAT YOU'D PUT SAID FAITH IN ME. SURELY YOU WON'T BE UPSET WHEN I TOTALLY TAKE A METAPHORICAL SHIT ON THIS GAME THAT YOU SEEM TO BE SO THRILLED WITH.
SORRY, WAS THAT TOO HARSH, SWEETHEART?
NEWSFLASH. LIFE IS HARSH. SO EVEN WHILE YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING TO BE LEADING ME INTO A BETTER SCENARIO THAT FLOATING THROUGH SPACE WITH STRIDER, LALONDE AND THE HANDFUL OF TROLLS I CAN TOLERATE, I HONESTLY THINK THIS IS GOING TO BE A FRUITLESS EFFORT.
NOTHING FUN FOR YOU, OR ME FOR THAT MATTER, IS GOING TO COME FROM ME RUNNING AROUND PLAYING A FUCKING HARP.
OH, EXCUSE ME, LYRE. SORRY, DIDN'T REALIZE I WAS TALKING TO A PROFESSIONAL ON TINY HANDHELD STRING INSTRUMENTS USED TO SUMMON GODS. WHOOPS. MY BAD.
TRUST ME. THERE IS NO WAY THAT ME PLAYING A HARP AND RUNNING THROUGH A FIELD AS A ZORA OR WHATEVER YOU SAID THEY WERE CALLED, IS GOING TO BE BENEFICIAL FOR ANYONE. EVER.
SO COULD WE JUST DO US BOTH A FAVOR AND RETRACT THAT LITTLE APPLICATION OF YOURS AND GO BACK TO LETTING ME FUCK AROUND IN MEMES AND MUSEBOXES? THAT'S TOLERABLE. IN THOSE CASES IF I FLIP SHIT AND HAVE TO CHEW YOUR SOUNDCATCHERS OFF ABOUT NOT WANTING TO DO SOMETHING, YOU CAN DROP THAT SHIT AND NO HARM DONE.
BUT THIS IS JUST USELESS AND STUPID. I DON'T CARE IF YOU THINK I'D HAVE FUN THERE.
I DON'T DO FUN. YOU MIGHT, BUT I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO INTEREST IN WATCHING THE MOON CRUSH A BUNCH OF HUMANS.
WHAT?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE NOT EXACTLY HUMANS. COME ON, THEY DON'T HAVE HORNS, THEY'RE PINK, THEY'RE WEAK AND SQUISHY. WHAT ELSE COULD THEY POSSIBLY BE?
ALRIGHT FINE, FINE. THEY'RE NOT HUMANS LIKE EGBERT AND HER FRIENDS. FINE. BUT THEY'RE STILL NOT INTERESTING ENOUGH TO WATCH. EVEN IF THEY'RE GOING TO SLOWLY BE SQUISHED BENEATH A GIANT CELESTIAL BODY THAT COULD REALLY USE BOTH DENTAL AND VISUAL WORK.
I SERIOUSLY CAN'T EVEN FATHOM WHY YOU'RE SO OBSESSED WITH THE IDEA OF ME SCAMPERING ABOUT A DAMN FIELD--IN DAYTIME, MIND YOU. ARE YOU NUTS? DO YOU WANT ME TO GO BLIND?--AND PLAYING WITH MASKS.
SERIOUSLY.
MASKS.
IF I WANTED TO PLAY WITH MASKS AND SHIT I WOULD HANG BACK HERE AND CHILL WITH A CERTAIN INDIGO I KNOW AND THAT'D BE THAT.
BUT NO. YOU JUST HAVE TO SEND ME HERE.
SO I ASK YOU AGAIN, TO PLEASE RECONSIDER.
BUT I HIGHLY DOUBT THAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN. BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THAT YOU ARE DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING PRODUCTIVE WITH YOUR TIME RIGHT NOW AND YOU WOULD RATHER SIT ON THE INTERNET PRETENDING TO BE A LITTLE ALIEN GIRL THAN GO AND, I DON'T KNOW, GET A JOB.

Comments

[caligulas_aquarium]

a zora huh
you knoww thatd technically make you a seadwweller ka
uh
ar
ark
wwhats the deal wwith the names here im a little lost

[sallynooksucker]

MY ERIDAN CALLS ME ARK, SO I DON'T SEE WHY YOU SHOULDN'T EITHER.
BUT IT'S SOME PLAY ON THE HINDU WORD FOR CANCER. IT'S KARKATA, SO THIS CHICK PLAYING ME DECIDED TO USE THAT, AND DROP THE K TO MAKE MY NAME.
I DON'T KNOW, IT'S CUTE I GUESS.

BUT DON'T EVEN REMIND ME.
SHE SERIOUSLY WANTS TO TURN ME INTO A DEKU SCRUB AT ONE POINT.
HA, WHAT FUCKING IRONY. THE CRAB NOT BEING ABLE TO SWIM.
FUNNY, RIGHT?
GOD I WANT TO PUNCH HER.

[caligulas_aquarium]

ark right
okay got it
anywway sounds like you got a lot ahead a you an it aint all that great from the sound a things
id say you wwanna talk about it but this entire fuckin post makes the majority a your wwhole memo thing look minor in comparison i think youvve already said your piece

so



uh





godspeed wweird alternate girl kar
godspeed
i wwas gonna say good luck but luck aint real so id practically be lyin to your face if i said that

[sallynooksucker]

YOU KNOW WHAT'S REALLY FUNNY ABOUT ALL THIS?
I ALMOST DO WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS.
BECAUSE APPARENTLY THE ONLY WAY I CAN MAKE THIS SITUATION SEEM EVEN REMOTELY ACCEPTABLE IS TO ACTUALLY GET ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT OFF MY CHEST AND SCREAM FROM THE ROOFTOPS MY COMPLETE AND UTTER FRUSTRATION WITH THE LACK OF UNDERSTANDING THAT THE CHICK PLAYING AS GOD'S PUPPETEER HAS FOR ME.
IT'S LIKE, OH YEAH, ARKATA LET'S GO HAVE FUN WITH NO ONE ELSE FROM YOUR UNIVERSE AND A BUNCH OF COPIES OF YOUR FRIENDS TURNED INTO THE OPPOSITE SEX.
THAT'S SURE GOING TO BE FUN.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW SIMILAR YOU ARE TO MY ERIDAN.
OR IF YOU'RE ANYWHERE NEAR AS PRETENTIOUS.
FOR ALL I KNOW, YOU COULD BE PRINCE FUCKING CHARMING.

[elegant_clown]

[Yeah Gamzette completely ignored that. So instead she is just going to hug you. Enjoy your marshmallow hell Arkata]

[sallynooksucker]

NO, NO, NO. NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR HUGS!
NOW IS THE TIME FOR TRYING TO CONVINCE THIS IDIOT CHICK TO LET ME LIVE MY LIFE IN PEACE AND NOT PLAY WITH FAIRIES.

[elegant_clown]

oH yOuRe GoInG tO tHaT wOrLd?
ThE zOrA aRe PrEtTy MoThErFuCkInG cOoL
I aCtUaLlY mEt ThEiR HeIrEsS
My MoThErFuCkInG mUn BrO hAs HeR iN hIs HeAd ToO

[sallynooksucker]

OH MY GOD, WHY DOES EVERYONE SEEM TO LIKE THE IDEA OF ME GOING HERE?
I DO NOT WANT TO BE A FISH PERSON.
NO OFFENSE TO ERIDAN OR FEFERI.
BUT I DON'T WANT TO SPROUT GILLS OR FINS.

Sorry if my Gamzette is mildly flirty at times xD

[elegant_clown]

I lIkE yOu ThE wAy YoU aRe BeSt FrIeNd
bUt YoU wOuLd MaKe A rEaLlY sWeEt As HeLl GeRuDo ;o)

It's cool! Arkata's just very..."fuck feelings"

[sallynooksucker]

THANKS. I GUESS.
BUT I COULD NEVER BE A GERUDO.
THEY'RE TALL AND SKINNY AND GORGEOUS.
I AM THE ANTI-GERUDO.
I AM THE MINUS-GERUDO.
I AM HALF THE SIZE OF ONE.
THEY'RE MORE SERKET'S THING, WHEN YOU GET DOWN TO IT. BANDITS AND PIRATES AND ALL THAT.

no I am not considering sending Vriskan there at all now, what gave you that silly idea? :P

[elegant_clown]

SiS
YoU mIgHt Be ShOrT
BuT yOu ArE mOtHeRfUcKiNg BeAuTiFuL
ThOuGh YeAh ThEy ArE mOrE lIkE tHe SpIdEr'S tHiNg
mY mUn ThInKs YoU sHoUlD yElL aT tHe StUpId ToWnSpEoPlE wHo WoNt Up AnD mOtHeRfUcKiNg LeAvE
iF tHeRe Is A wAy FoR tHeM tO dO tHaT aNd ItS aLl Up AnD tHe SaMe As He Is ThInKiNg

oh my god. that would be fabulous.

[sallynooksucker]

NO. I AM NOT BEAUTIFUL. I AM AS UGLY AS A SQUASHED GRUB ON THE CURBSIDE.
I KNOW RIGHT! SERIOUSLY. THOSE PEOPLE REALLY COULD JUST GET UP AND WALK OUT OF TOWN AND THEY'D BE SAFE! BUT NOOO. STUPID CARNIVAL IS TOO DAMN IMPORTANT.

So tempted or Equia could become a Zora and have a heart attack

[elegant_clown]

SiS dOnT sAy ThAt.
ThErE iS a MoThErFuCkInG cArNiVaL?
ThAt SoUnDs LeGiT bUt NoT wOrTh DyInG oVeR

Other genderbends there would just be fun~ Pretty much everyone is canon so far~

[sallynooksucker]

I'M NOT GOING TO ARGUE MY POINTS ON THIS. I THINK I'M GROSS, AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT.

WELL I WAS PRETTY SURE A CARNIVAL WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY PERFECT YOU. NOT MY THING.
BUT THESE LOCALS ARE PRETTY DEDICATED I GUESS.

[filidh]

& ## 5/8 I have #no idea# why I'm here.
& ## I think it might be your mun's fault.
& ## Who are you, anyway?
& ## Another one of those trolls that insists I'm one of you?
& ## Because, you know b^I will totally buy that bridge you're selling.^b

[sallynooksucker]

PITY FACTOR PROBABLY.
I HEAR THAT'S ALL THE RAGE THESE DAYS.
OH GOD, YOU'RE NOT COMING ON TO ME, ARE YOU?
STRANGE...OFF-THE-SPECTRUM WEIRDO.
MY NAME'S ARKATA, SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS TO YOU.
AND I AM A TROLL, BUT I SURE AS HELL DON'T THINK YOU ARE.
YOUR QUIRK'S EVEN TOO WEIRD FOR US.

[filidh]

& ## It's not #weird,# it's creative! It's better self-expression than gray capslock.
& ## You probably wouldn't know creative if it bit you in the ass.
& ## I bet you can't even tell the difference between a time signature and a fraction.
& bb 4/4 And #thank you.# Finally one of you trolls sees the light and admits I'm not like you.

[sallynooksucker]

AREN'T YOU FRIENDLY.
AND HERE I THOUGHT MAYBE THIS COULD BE A NICE CONVERSATION.
GREY CAPSLOCK IS PLENTY CREATIVE. IT'S AN OFFSHOOT OF BLACK.
AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION, BLACK CONTAINS ALL COLORS.
WHICH ARE CREATIVE AS ALL HELL.
EXCEPT GREEN. NOT CREATIVE AT ALL.
BUT SERIOUSLY.
YOU'RE TOO MUCH OF A PRICK EVEN AMONG US TO BE A TROLL.

[filidh]

& ## 5/8 You would be short-tempered too if you had a creepy troll messaging you every day.
& ## No matter how often I block him it's highblood this and highblood that.
& ## Wait. D--> Highb100d this and highb100d that.
& ## What is he even trying to express, typing like that?
& ## At least you make it obvious that you're a screamer.
& ## Gray isn't a bad color but it's kind of drab.
& ## It's not vibrant. It doesn't pop. Is that the message you're trying to send?

[sallynooksucker]

OH MY GOD. I AM SO SORRY SHE WAS MESSAGING YOU.
OH. WAIT.
HE?
FUCK, FORGOT. THERE'S A BOY VERSION TOO. MY BAD.
BUT STILL. I AM SO SORRY. THERE ARE BETTER TROLLS TO TALK TO.
BUT TRUST ME. THE TEXT COLOR. SCREAMS THAT YOU'RE ABOVE THE MAJORITY OF TROLLS HERE. MEAN'S YOU'RE ALMOST ROYALTY.
YOU'D BE SURPRISED. I ACTUALLY DON'T SCREAM.
I'M PRETTY STANDARD. I ONLY YELL IF I HAVE TO.
ACTUALLY, YES IT IS. I DON'T WANT TO STAND OUT.

[filidh]

& ## Who would believe a hierarchy based on text color, seriously?
& ## Except him, I guess.
& ## And, huh. Gray works pretty well for that.
& ## You're not half bad for a troll.
& ## Wish I knew why you all were so fixated on trolling me though.

[sallynooksucker]

IT'S NOT TEXT COLOR.
IT'S BLOOD COLOR. OUR BLOOD IS OBVIOUS AT BIRTH AND DOESN'T AT ALL CHANGE DURING OUR LIFETIME.
AND YOU'D BE A FREAK IF YOU WERE AMONG US. I'VE NEVER SEEN THAT COLOR BEFORE. BUT YOU'D STILL BE ABOVE MOST OF US.
UM, THANKS I GUESS THOUGH.
I'M NOT THAT GREAT. I'M PRETTY LAME.
WELL, YOU'RE PROBABLY FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE WE DON'T LIKE, IN SOME WAY.
SO YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO SUCK IT UP.

[filidh]

& ## So.
& ## If I told you this #was# my blood color, what would that say about me? Hypothetically.
& ## And you seriously have gray blood? I don't believe it.
& ## I figured that out when the death threats started coming.
& ## BY the way, you SHOULD tell YOUR TEAL friend that I will FUCKING dissect her if I ever MEET her in PERSON. Or HIM. I don't FUCKING care.
& ## No ONE THREATENS John. NO ONE.

[sallynooksucker]

I WOULD SAY THAT IT MEANS YOU'RE A HIGHBLOOD, AND YOU COULD HYPOTHETICALLY ORDER ME AROUND. BUT THAT WOULDN'T GIVE YOU GOOD MARKS IN MY BOOK.
NO. I DON'T HAVE GRAY BLOOD. NO ONE DOES. I JUST DON'T LIKE SHARING MY COLOR.
UM. OKAY. SO. TEREZI...THREATENED JOHN.
THAT'S NOT NEW.
WAIT. OH NOW EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE.
WE'RE TROLLING YOU BECAUSE OF JOHN.

[filidh]

& ## Why would I order anyone around? That's stupid.
& ## And I know #part# of it is John.
& ## But I don't think talking about the "e%quisite curve" of my horns or "being pale in front of a lady" has anything to do with him.
& ## The second part might, because I was visiting him at the time, I guess.

[becominghope]

Aah... I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do there, either.... I don't really have anywhere else to be, though.

[sallynooksucker]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ANYWHERE ELSE TO BE?

[becominghope]

Eheh, well! Um... I mean, I don't really do anything important! [...not very convincing.] I mean, not like piloting a meteor through space is important, definitely. That sounds like a really big deal.

[sallynooksucker]

YOU WANT TO HEAR A SECRET?
WHEN YOU WIND UP BEING THE REASON WHY HALF YOUR FRIENDS ARE DEAD.
PILOTING A METEOR IS THE LEAST IMPORTANT THING YOU COULD DO.
IT'S KEEPING THEM ALIVE.
AND KEEPING THEM HAPPY THAT'S IMPORTANT.
ARE YOU TRYING TO KEEP SOMEONE HAPPY?
THEN YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING BIG.

[becominghope]

Uwah, that sounds like a really bad situation... Is your mun really sure it's a good idea to take you away from that? It sounds like they really need you. Especially now.

...I'm really sorry about your friends, by the way.