re: subjecting him to all the memes

[dated]

With all due respect, ma'am...






I think I'd rather be frozen again.

Comments

[tasteslikecoconut]

[...Wait a second.]

...You would be proud of that?

[The hell is wrong with you.]

[therealgenius]

[That's a loaded question, Tony, don't ever ask it.]

Think about it: Iron Man throws up in the presence of Justin Hammer. He must be pretty intimidating...or, perhaps we could report on how drunk Anthony Stark was, you know...either or.

[tasteslikecoconut]

Or absolutely disgusting to the point of becoming physically ill just by glancing in your direction, but hey, all a matter of perspective I guess.

[therealgenius]

It's all in how you spin it to the press, Mister Stark. Surely you've learned that by now? Or has your piece of ass always done that for you?

[Hammer, stop.

Just.

Don't go there ahhhhh]

[tasteslikecoconut]

[He's really starting to think prison time would be worth shutting you up. He really is. He is going to hit the Captain so hard in the face the next time they brawl. But still he'll uh, fake laugh along there with you. But man it sure does sound pained. So, so pained.]

Aaaah that was so utterly not hilarious - did you think of that one late at night while laying awake, thinking of how much better I am than you at - uh, everything? You really chose the wrong career if you wanted to be the best, Hammer. Maybe you should take up... oh I don't know. Painting. Or lacrosse.

[therealgenius]

I played lacrosse in school. I can't play sports anymore, okay, you don't need to rub your peak physical capacity and whatever your BMI is and muscle density...I don't need to hear it. Ever, actually.

You know, if you really, really think I'm so pathetic, you're just proving yourself a miserable bastard by continuing to tell me. It's like kicking a three-legged dog at this point if that's what all you superheros actually think.

I think I just died.

[tasteslikecoconut]

Usually three-legged dogs are smart enough to not go biting the ankles of their masters.

Stop kicking him around guys it's mean

[therealgenius]

...are you trying to say you own me?

[Uh Tony

that word choice is

...questionable, to say the least

like do you want him in a cage what the fuck are you saying]

Never.

[tasteslikecoconut]

I'm trying to say you're a three-legged dog, please shut up, I'm asking nicely.

He's not your bitch :|

[therealgenius]

You could have said "betters" but you said "masters." You said masters. You have an ego the size of Jupiter and you want to own me. It's not good to crush everything I have but what, you're going to buy out Hammer Industries? What will make you feel good enough in your glowing chest before you give up?

[Uh Hammer is this opposite day you little bitch or...]

slips in here oops

[pheromoans]

I can't believe I offered to kiss you, even via a computer virus.

[therealgenius]

You could have looked me up before you did that, you know.

[What was his name in Jarvis' system? Doofus something? Your fault, Ivy, for not checking yo' shit.]

[pheromoans]

[ BT; She's not that technical, it was a fun day of fucking Stark's shit up while the chance arose. ]

I can't imagine why I would want to.

[therealgenius]

You just go around kissing every guy you know?

...you and Stark are working around Pepper, huh? He does like the redheads, even if you're a little...gangrenous.

[pheromoans]

I am not Tony Stark's whore.

[ WOW Hammer, way to ingratiate yourself into the supervillainess' good graces. Not that you ever really had a chance, but still, gosh. Fast work! ]

[therealgenius]

Oh, of course not.

I'm sure he's yours, but hey, you know, uh...you can keep that in the bedroom and no thanks on the kiss! Ever, actually. Not a fan of kissing.

[pheromoans]

I'm not exactly battering your door down here, just to clear that up.

[therealgenius]

Okay, that's good.

Because I'm kind of a helpless, threed-legged dog around here. It wouldn't look good if you attacked me.

[pheromoans]

Would it look good for the environment if I killed the head of your corporation? That's all you need to ask yourself.

[therealgenius]

...I am the head of my corporation.

[justin

JUSTIN

What is two plus two

This is important do you know]

[pheromoans]

[ And that is why vines are slithering around your ankles, bro. ]

[therealgenius]

[JUSTIN HAMMER IS RACKING UP THE DEAR MUN ASSAULTS OH YEAH]

...point taken.

[pheromoans]

To prove one of us retains their manners, I'll give you a moment to consider. Which would you prefer; to be strangled as you're drawn deep into the earth or ripped in half?

[ Look how serious she is, this lady who made pals with Loki. ]

Neither option will be over in a hurry.

[dated]

[ --oh, right. hero business.

stepping up over those vines, steve positions himself right between the two. not that the irony of two 'baddies' fighting each other escapes him, but it's rather severely unfair right now. ]

I think you've proved your point, Pamela.

[pheromoans]

[ Is she in the mood to take him on? Over Hammer??? Weh.

The vines recede. ]

Spoil-sport.