dear_mun | (no subject)

"Hell's bells, Susan, that's all I've wanted for ten years now..."

[He just has this thing about living lies. And also isn't looking forward to the dying part, considering his more-than-peripheral involvement.]

"Shh... That's the joy of AU's, Dresden. I know my girl here isn't going to let any of that happen. Unless, of course, you want me dead. Talk about a hard good-bye."

"... How are you always so good at changing my mind?"

[You do most of the work for her by being a total idiot, Harry.]

"Shut up."

"I couldn't change it for you if you didn't want it to be changed."

[Stop being so smug.]

[No, keep being smug, he deserves it.]

"I'm with the other mun."

[Shut up.]

[Why are we so cruel to them?]

"You shush, or I'll shush you myself."

[O_O. Do I need to send you to your room?]

"Hey, you're the one who let the cat out of the bag. You can just... deal."

[Oh, don't mind him, he's just mad because he knows she's right.]

"No, I'm not. And she's not."

[Sure she is. And you're still an idiot.]

"You're starting to remind me of my brother. Only without the 'pretty and good at things part.' Just the 'lives to annoy and insult me' part."

[Ouch, man. And then you wonder why I'm cruel to you.]

"I think me and my mun might just sit here, eat some popcorn, and watch the show. This is actually pretty amusing."

[Sorry, man. Have to agree with her there. You guys are great. When's the act open?]

"There is no act."

[Note to self: Bicker with Harry more often.]

"Have I mentioned that I hate you?"

[Maybe once or twice.]

"Hey, if Mister gets belly scritches, does that mean I do too?"

[... you're terrible and I think you need a leash.]

"Just be lucky he didn't tag the Aphrodrink meme."

[YOU AND YOUR POTIONS!]

"... Stop that, it's distracting."

[... All in favor of leashing Susan?]

"Freaking aye."

[You're a dirty man, Harry. First magic rope and now this?]

"... Oh, for the love of-"

[Why do you always get mad when other people are right?]

"... Should I just not talk? I'll just sit here and not talk."

"Ooh.. I haven't gotten to the magic rope part yet. Is it good? Is it something I can tease him over?"

[I'm going to cuff your muff, I swear to god. Sit down and behave.]

"He started it... bringing up ropes and leashes."

[Horrible]

"Excuse me? Your mun brought up leashes and my mun brought up rope! I had nothing to do with it?"

[What happened to not talking?]

"... And the rope was only so she didn't kill me."

[... Yeah, and the rest?]

"... Shut up."

[Mwahahahahaha.]

"Demented bastard."

"There's a 'the rest'? Oh... do tell."

[*chin on hands* Yes.. do tell.]

"... That's... really not something I feel comfortable discussing in present-"

[That was how their daughter was conceived. Book 5, 'Death Masks.' Susan had used a little too much power and was having trouble not eating Harry, so he tied her up with magic rope. And then decided to clean her off and take care of her injuries while she was tied up. It got a bit, shall we say, intense.]

"Fucking. Hate. You."

[Dude, there are people who doubt you've ever gotten any at all, I'm doing you a favor here.]

"Y'know, somehow I'm pretty sure Susan doesn't doubt that!"

[Details!]

"*grin* Harry, I always knew you had a kinky side. Next time, you get to be tied up."

[Not gonna lie, I have to agree with her. I kinda like the sound of that.]

"Good girl."

[Don't patronize me.]

"... W-what?"

[... brb, dying laughing.]

"You heard me. Turnaround's fair play."

[I don't even know what I'm supposed to do with you anymore. I give up.]

"Again, good girl. Just let me go play with my lean mean magic machine."

[...]

[... Lean, mean, magic machine?]

"... I'll just be killing myself. If that's alright with everybody."

"Would you have preferred I used a different word before 'machine'. Preferably a more apt one?"

[Muzzle. Where the hell is my muzzle.]

"Oops. Was that what I threw out? Oh darn. Sorry."

[Oh, lord. Harry, stop that. I don't have a facepalm emote for you.]

"You need one."

"*sigh* I guess I'll just wander off and leave you be, then. Go work on a story or find other, much less fun ways to spend my time."

[You're a terrible liar.]

"I'm not lying. I'm... brooding."

[You're a terrible brooder.]

"... Are you pouting?"

[Yes she is. See what you did?]

"What I did? How is this my fault?"

[Poor girl is just so lonely...]

"Stop that. Both of you."

[Heeeheehee.]

"Why would I pout? You want nothing to do with me. That doesn't matter. At all..."

[Oh, shut up, you big baby.]

"*sniffle*"

"That's not what I said!"

[Aw, I'm starting to feel bad for Harry now.]

"... Waiting for the other shoe to drop on that one."

[No, really! I mean, you brought this entirely on yourself, but still.]

"... It was just awkward, is all!"