Roll Call

[sentryslinger]

Alright now, Miss Mundane. I know you're wantin' to know how many of us BLUs and REDs there are around these parts, but even if I ask, I can't guarantee everyone will answer. Some folks ain't much for talkin'.

But you're right. It don't hurt much to just ask around, 'less someone comes after me for my occupational affiliation. And I know how to take care of myself if that happens. Now that I can guarantee.

Comments

[pocketsurgeon]

Ist zhat vy he came to me viz chain link fence imprints on his face?

[sentryslinger]

And how he broke his nose by runnin' into the door before the mission started. And that time he ended up with a bullet in his leg to get him to slow down for just a minute while we went over the strategy for the fight.

[pocketsurgeon]

It ist zat soda he drinks. We should start to ration it or he vill knock himself unconscious by running into a vall.

[sentryslinger]

I thought about doin' that once, but then we'd have to find somewhere to keep it that he wouldn't just go lookin' for it. I don't know about you Doc, but I don't need him runnin' around my workshop because he's desperate for a drink. That happens enough with Demoman.

[pocketsurgeon]

I do not need to tell you how many zings of mine he has broken. Und he ran right zrough my vindow.

Because he zought he saw a food truck.

[sentryslinger]

He's not the brightest kid sometimes, but he's good at what he does. If we can just wrangle him in on occasion, we'll be right as rain.

[pocketsurgeon]

I zink we should tezzer him on a leash. Zat way he cannot get too far away und ve can pull him back before he jumps into a sentry.

[sentryslinger]

A fine idea, but who'd be the one to walk him durin' a battle? We've all got our hands full doin' other things, Doc.

[pocketsurgeon]

Vell ... Hmm. I hadn't zought about zat. I suppose it vould depend on ze base. Oder ve could tie him to ze cart.

[sentryslinger]

Maybe if we do, he can pull it even faster with those legs of his. Tie the soda to a string and dangle it in front of him.

[And now he's laughing.]

[pocketsurgeon]

I am going to try zis. All ve haff to do is tell him zat it ist a new and very rare hat. He vill be at ze checkpoint before ve can even round ze bend.

[sentryslinger]

Sounds like a good experiment if ya ask me, Doc. I'd be interested in hearin' what conclusions you come to when you're through. I might look into buildin' him some kind of a machine that dispenses the soda as a reward when he makes it to the checkpoint.

[pocketsurgeon]

Und if it vorks, just zink of vat ve could do viz Spy und cigarettes.

[He's got that far off thoughtful look now, mentally building this contraption in his head.]

[sentryslinger]

[And now he does too. This can't be good.]

Or Demoman and some of that scrumpy he carries with him. Heck, tie an American flag to it, and Soldier will pull it to freedom in no time.

[pocketsurgeon]

I zink ve haff just found a way to never haff to go charging into battle ever again.

[sentryslinger]

That's what happens when you let the thinkin' men do what they do best.

[pocketsurgeon]

It's too bad zat ze people viz ze least brains are ze ones calling ze shots.

[sentryslinger]

That's just how it is sometimes, Doc. Sometimes, you need more brute force than brains to get a job done.

[pocketsurgeon]

Oh ja, I von't deny it. After all, I am not zat suited to pushing carts or running around viz ze intelligence.

Everyvon has zeir job und zeir place on ze team. But zat does not mean zere couldn't be any improvements.

[sentryslinger]

That's a good point, Doc. There are always ways to improve even the most perfect of systems. Neither of us is cart-pushin' material, but that doesn't mean we can't help those who are.

[pocketsurgeon]

Ja. More zings ve can do zat vill be taken for granted.

[sentryslinger]

Undoubtedly, but that's just the way things work sometimes. Without us, the team couldn't run, though. What we do is more important than they'll ever know, trust me.

[pocketsurgeon]

Ach I know. But zey vill never see it like zat.

I suppose it doesn't matter, ze less zey zink about me, ze more zey leave me alone.

[sentryslinger]

That's one way of lookin' at it. Just so long as they don't leave you all alone on the battlefield.

[pocketsurgeon]

Zey better nicht.

[Or he'll spend the whole battle cowering behind buildings.]